probably easy to solve...hopefully.

It's by no means a "good" drum sound but it is cool as hell.

So, it's no good, but cool as hell? Hmmmmmmmmm....... :)

The original point was that "one mic drum recordings" were entirely possible, and, in fact, can be "cool as hell". I surely use WAY more than one mic to record drums myself. I also would say that you can take a one mic drum track and make it 99% as good as a 12 mic drum track set. DAW's can do amazing things. It will be some work, but we've shown this to be feasable many times on this forum. In fact, if roflcopter wanted to post his drum track, I will show how it is possible.
 
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