Please read and criticize

[dirk_demon]

Thanks for the support I guess I'll just have to go with the flow.
See, there are several songs in there but I can't find any songs in choosing schools for my kid or getting the rust fixed on my car.

This inspired me to write a song about my first car, and how I had to let it go when it was too broke down to fix...

Here it is:

The car with Georgia plates

Intro

I’m a Georgian car with a history
Read the coffe stains on my seat
Take a smell of my upholstery
And I’ll tell you ‘bout my defeat

Miles went by under these wheels of mine
Left my treadmarks on the streets
‘Been round the world so many times
Through rain, snow and heat

But I’ve always drove you home

Chorus:
Come take a spin one more time
Crank it up give ‘em hell
But I know you’ve bought a brand new car
I guess this is farewell
You tap my fender one more time
Saying that I served you well
But I know you’ve bought a brand new car
I guess this is farewell

Sure I’ve had my share of accidents
I ain’t no plaster saint
Got a lifetime full of scratch and dents
Written in my paint

There are teardrops coming from your eyes
Steady drips on the soil
Who said that cars don’t cry
Or am I leaking oil

But I’ve always drove you home

Chorus

This junkyard will be my last home
You park me next to a blue caprice
The shine will vanish from my chrome
And I will rust in peace

Outro


Let me know what you think! I'm not sure what kind of music I'll write for it, any suggestions?

Thanks ALOT!
Dirk Demon

 

[searchengine]

I hear bag pipes for that song. Good job. I always believed they fail after the first thought of getting a new car. Treat them good and they'll take you home.

BTW, I bet that blue impala was one of three i have owned.

 

[Disco_Dave]

Thats quite good actually, lots of possible analogies in there.

 

[Jimmy D.]

I really like it! I can kind of hear a 'ramblin highway/road trip' sound - with an upbeat tempo and style to convey the old guys' understanding of his role or duty in life - sort of - "Job well done!"

You are certainly on to something great - I'd love to hear how it comes out..

JD

 

[Buffalo Bob]

"And I will rust in peace..."

That's a great line! I hear this as a slow Country Ballad, ala George Jones. I had the same experience with our old Dodge camper van- "Maybelline" - took us all over the country and when it was her time to go we almost cried! It's funny, but you never remember pushing the damned thing in the rain, but you do remember the good times you had. Kindof like a woman, but much lower maintenance!

Bob

 

[LI Slim]

I'd like to hear it with kind of a country boogie, Commander Cody-ish beat


I'd add or alter a lyric or two to describe more specific things that happened in the car, like, for example, the coffee stain was from the time you laid Mary Lou in the back seat after choir practice.

 

[Sammander]

That's really cool. I definately see it as a country song. With some honky tonk twang. I really like the "rust in peace"