Please critique "Through My Head"

  • Thread starter Thread starter Rickson Gracie
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Rickson Gracie

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this is my first serious song with my ludwig accent drum set (used to use a vdrum set) and my digi002R (used to use an mbox) . i definitely edited a lot of the drums with pro tools le because im not a great drummer YET! :D

i know that the vocals are flat in some spots and a few other problems i didnt fix because of being lazy but i plan on going back and fixing some stuff. i also know that the main guitar riff is similar to the who's baba o rielly but it worked well so i used it.

give me the good bad and the ugly.



EDIT: Ok i remixed it and hopefuly fixed a few things. let me know how it is...THANKS

 
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Right off, boring ass riff. The vocal is too on-top and grainy. The lyrical content is kinda puffy in a meaningless space filler way which is okay but since they're so loud it's glaringly obvious.

Edits on the lead suck. If you are gonna edit it we should NOT hear it...ew pasted it again?

Not a fan, sorry.
 
haha the lead isnt edited (besides a fade out), its just reversed for effect.

i kinda thought the lead vocals were too loud but it sounded good in the car so i kept it but on the monitors it does seem too loud...and youre right the words are kinda thrown together. im training myself to record and mix well so i im not focusing as much as i should on writing lyrics.

thanks for the input:)
 
Yeah, I dig. Good attitude.

Shows how much I know, I coulda sworn that was copied and pasted a second time.
 
haha it was copied and pasted, se were the verses...but the lead guitar phrase itself wasnt edited...just reversed and then repeated.

i appreciate honest opinions...it will only help me improve.
 
EDIT: Ok i remixed it and hopefuly fixed a few things. let me know how it is...THANKS

 
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Not a bad effort. From a tracking and engineering perspective, I think you've done a nice job. All the parts are easy to hear and are nicely balanced. A few comments on the song:

-Try a different intro. It only really sounds derivitive of baba o'reilly when the part is soloed. Maybe do the intro over the chorus chords?

-I like the vocalist, kind of a Jacob Dylan thing happening. I agree with it being a bit grainy, but I don't have a problem with it being that hot in the mix.

-The drum fills are very repetitive and uninteresting. Try some syncopated fills to break up the monotony.

-Overall the song is okay, but I feel it's a little homogenous. There isn't a big enough melodic contrast in the different sections to keep my interest, particularly the chorus. Maybe double the vocal part an octave higher? Maybe add a little delay to vocal?
 
I dig the little channel section (chorus?) but the verse material keep making me think of Teenage Wasteland... same three chords over and over.

Are you going to add some more to this or are you looking for the minimal guitar type of sound? I'd like to here more chages tonal wise in the guitar (adding a track etc) when it gets to the chorus.

Just my $0.02... and my comments are worth about exactly that much :)

Good tune otherwise.

Velvet Elvis
 
Velvet Elvis said:
I dig the little channel section (chorus?) but the verse material keep making me think of Teenage Wasteland...
Click to expand...

Umm just to save you further embarassment, the sing you speak of is called
Baba O'Rielly by The Who, as mentioned by DC-XPL
 
Not my fault if I don't know the name of the song... I'm not a Who fan.

Point being... sounds like something done already.

Velvet Elvis
 
It's worth mentioning that the chorus stayed with me when I was on the train to work this morning. It's always a good sign when a chorus is memorable after just a few listens (which is why they call it a hook!). I think it just needs to be developed to bring it out in the more in the mix.

This is more of a songwriting/production suggestion rather than an engineering one.
 
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