Please critique my mix

jimmiebananas

New member
This is a song I posted a few weeks ago but it's much different now.
It's only one verse so I'd like comments on the mix. Ignore the abrupt beginning and ending, I'm trying to get everything to fit together before I record the entire thing.
 
my apologies, I hit "submit thread" without putting the link in, I hit stop on the browser but I guess it had already gone through, so if a moderator could delete this post that would be nice.

The other one is the one with the link
 
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