OPINIONS WANTED!...prefearbly honest ones.

N

nopoetic

New member
ive posted on here before with some songs. heres one i wrote yesterday..well, before the last time i slept anyway. whatever..i wrote this around 4pm on June 12th. tell me what you think...



just save target as on the file to download it. im sure most people have that figured out already though...

www.orionrock.cjb.net is my website.
 
Lyrics: Catchy
Guitar: Good rythm, but sounds weak/thin
Voice: Also thin, and out of tune. Suggestion: Try the vocals belted out instead of whispered. It sounds as if you are singing lightly so as not to disturb someone in the next room. That tentativeness is distracting. Shout it out and see what happens!

Keep moving, and you'll move forward.

G
 
Lyrics: couldn't make them out...I didn't hear a strong hook out of what I did hear...
Guitar: Good rythmn, but sounds like you mic-ed straight into the hole and real close...real boomy on the bottom...masks the vox in places...
Voice: pitch issues and not a great melody...

Joe
 
I agree that I think you have a good sense of rythm, AND you like to play the hard chords:). I'm a meat and potatoes everything, just plain and boring usually. Are you using any eq or compression on the vocals? Some people tend to think that breathy vocals don't need that, but I have found it is quite the opposite. It would help to make the lyrics intelligible, it was just hard to understand in a few places. Also, the guitar wouldn't step on it so much.

Thanks,
H2H
 
Some performance issues with the guitar playing and singing. I would work on the performance a bit and repost.
 
thanks for everyone's comments, i agree with most of them on the performance factor. i just wanted an opinion on the song so i posted the first take of it. im re-recording it today and hopefully have something a lot better to post.

as for the singing style, im sticking with the breathy vocals on it but it needs more melody and rythem to it. and i like the guitar sound i got out of it, it needs to be smoothed out a little bit, but i like good bassy feel to it.

as for the performance, its my first try at finger picking an entire song and also my first use of a capo..so its been more fun to play this song for some reason. anyway, i'll be working on this for a little while and i'll repost it when i feel its ready.

also, i cant get a compression on it without a lot of work of recording and re-recording guitar parts and switching tracks and overdubbing etc. so i think im gonna just avoid all that and wait until i can afford a compression box or pedal. anyway, thanks for everyone's comments. check out my other songs on my site www.orionrock.cjb.net and tell me what you think of those. the recording quality is the best its gonna get i think though, im planning on going into a studio this summer anyway.
 
ok, a version im satisified with is up. im not re-doing it again until i record something this summer in an actual studio. i just need to play it over and over until i perfect the performance. im sucking bad today anyway...



download the new version...
 
If you want views on the song itself, rather than the performance / recording / production aspects, the placid and friendly little village called the songwriting forum might be more helpful for you. I like to hang out there - there's too much production talent here in the clinic :)
 
thanks, i'll go there, ive noticed people critique the recording a little too much when i only ask for song opinions. but i guess since this is homerecording.com, i should expect that. well, thanks all.
 
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