No Way Out

brummygit

brummygit

Member
No Way Out - Need help lots!!!!!!!!!

Hello all

Im working on a track that I've been toying with for FAR too long now. It's called No Way Out.

Basically I'm lookin for feedback on a few things:

1) the words
2) the song structure
3) the melody
4) what else could i do to make this one ROCK!!!??

there's an old version on there (the first i ever recorded) and a newer version on there too.

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=4208&alid=1150

if theres a prob with that link , try



lemme know your thoughts

cheers :D
 
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when i click on it, it opens my media player then it says that the format is not right or something like that and it gives me the option to close or retry.
 
JaQsonA1 said:
when i click on it, it opens my media player then it says that the format is not right or something like that and it gives me the option to close or retry.
Click to expand...

if you try:

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=4208&alid=1150

theres an optiona little way down the screen that says 'change player', maybe that'll help. thanks for trying tho, seems a bit quiet round here and everyone thats listened to it aint replied lol

cheers

mark
 
i m not sure if its just my comp or what, but i have tried both the links and i m still not able to hear it. maybe other people are having the same problem.
 
weird. its just windows media player that dont seem to like it. grrr

still, ill post it elsewhere and redrop the link

cheers


ed: new link is
 
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Hi Brum,

I got it on the Windows player.

When the piece starts, I hear the rhythm guitar good and loud, and, without any lead ornaments at that point, I settle back for what I think will be a nice Ramones-like beating.
But, with vocals and chord structure, this is the Hard Stuff, not Ramones, and so the lack of the lead confuses the (at least this) ear, and sonically makes the lead feel abrupt when it finally appears.

The song, especially in the chorus before the first lead, falls asleep despite all the energy because you don't have the counterpoint of some screaming guitar notes against the singer to build it, and because (possibly) the rhythm section isn't loud enough (see below.)

Then, once the lead gets in, we get duelling leads at the end, which is great and works well, but the effect, especially without the above, is that Yngvie Malmsteen arrived late for the session.
You need to punch the finish. The leads quit too early, they need to whip this to the end for the 'big hair' close.
You sing well, but the reverb is set for 'next week'. Drop it back and, if it works, raise it for a shorter attack.
You need DRUMS AND BASS. I am listening on PC/w Sub speakers so forgive any misinterpretations. What I hear: no kick, the drums are too far back, and the bass should be thumping.

Best,

CC
 
I just heard No Way Out.
I like the song/melody. Here is my critics. They go for the mix/sound/melody; not the lyrics.
Overall
I think both the verse and the chorus has a good rythm and good melody in it. You voice as it sounds here is good and nice but its sharp; almost like a popvoice to me, but the song itself seems to be intended to be more rough. So the way they are put together here they doesnt fit perfectly for me. That can be due to the EQing of you voice. If you have a mixer with EQ you gotta take away som highs from your voice I think. Add some more middle.
I would love to hear some more variation from the main verse line. Try to keep it less repetetive just like you did when you went from the 2nd verse and into the (pre?)chorus. Remember that last verseline of the 2nd? Just like that where you put in some variation just in that last line. meaning, dont leave/alter your melodyline in the verse. Just bend it a tone here and there to kill the repetive feeling.
Drums and bass
First of all: Where is the KICK? Cant hear it. Im also afraid it collides with the thin bass. A sharper bass that has more edge is needed. More gain on the drums. A kickdrum needs to get in there.
Panorama.
The song/arrangement appears for me to be dead center. Make it wider. Use the pan buttons.
You are obviously proud of your gitarwork, and you should be. Dont make it shine through that much in the mix though. The guitar(s) need to be melted into the total picture. They stand too much forward.
To summarize
All'n all a promising piece with a lot of potential. A proper mix of this one would have lifted it 4 floors. A rearrangement would have lifted it 4 more.
I like it. Keep it up.
 
thanks for all of that! in terms of EQing the voice, as a beginner, i dunno where to start. i have logic pro 6 with all the eq's that come with it, so in terms of kHz, etc, where do i boost/gain?

here's another version i did thanks to a bit of feedback from the mp3 clinic....



ive played a bit more with the drums, and tripled up the vocals to make them a bit 'fuller', as well as putting those outro dueling guitar parts back in sync with eachother.
 
Cosmic said:
Hi Brum,

I got it on the Windows player.

When the piece starts, I hear the rhythm guitar good and loud, and, without any lead ornaments at that point, I settle back for what I think will be a nice Ramones-like beating.
But, with vocals and chord structure, this is the Hard Stuff, not Ramones, and so the lack of the lead confuses the (at least this) ear, and sonically makes the lead feel abrupt when it finally appears.

The song, especially in the chorus before the first lead, falls asleep despite all the energy because you don't have the counterpoint of some screaming guitar notes against the singer to build it, and because (possibly) the rhythm section isn't loud enough (see below.)

Then, once the lead gets in, we get duelling leads at the end, which is great and works well, but the effect, especially without the above, is that Yngvie Malmsteen arrived late for the session.
You need to punch the finish. The leads quit too early, they need to whip this to the end for the 'big hair' close.
You sing well, but the reverb is set for 'next week'. Drop it back and, if it works, raise it for a shorter attack.
You need DRUMS AND BASS. I am listening on PC/w Sub speakers so forgive any misinterpretations. What I hear: no kick, the drums are too far back, and the bass should be thumping.

Best,

CC
Click to expand...

so you reckon some lead guitar in the second verse? and a longer outro or a tidier finish?

ive sorted a few probs out
notably the vocals, and to an extent, the drums and timing on those outro guitar parts.
 
Equalizing in a sequencers mixer is often divided in 3-4 sections, highs, 1 or 2 different middles and lows. Never mind the Herz they are representing. Just tweak the buttons till you can hear a different vocal. What you want to do with yours is taking away some of the tops/highs witch can be found somewhere in the middle range of frequencies I guess. Then you can try to tweak more around the middle to add more body to your voice. The thing with a proper mix is that it finds a spot for everything in the sound picture. If you listen to i.e. a Robbie Williams hit or two, you can hear that his voice isnt too high (let me entertain you) and there is really a lot going on in the chorus, but you can still clearly hear his vocals coz they have reserved and gained the right frequencies for him in the mix. Its all about tweaking EQ, adding some effects and panning different instruments till you come up with the sound you are aiming for. In your song, the machine of the sound is the bass and drums, and they need to stand forward much more; distinct and definated. Then you can start searching for places in the picture to place vocals and guitars.
If you are seriously interested in mixing, there is many good books out there to buy.
 
Brum,

I think there should be some soaring lead notes coming in to just 'decorate' the song from the beginning; they set the counterpoint to when you start singing, and they and the singing keep the ears interested until the lead gets front and center.
The end doesn't need to be longer; I just personally hear this as the two leads building to a crashing finish with a full stop on the tune.

You're doing well, just my input,

Best,

CC.
 
Cosmic said:
Brum,

I think there should be some soaring lead notes coming in to just 'decorate' the song from the beginning; they set the counterpoint to when you start singing, and they and the singing keep the ears interested until the lead gets front and center.
The end doesn't need to be longer; I just personally hear this as the two leads building to a crashing finish with a full stop on the tune.

You're doing well, just my input,

Best,

CC.
Click to expand...

cool thanks for your thoughts - seriously, this song is coming along nicely thanks to all the help. i really need to get some EQ and compression books tho and have a play with it....

any more thoughts tho, post away...!
 
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