No coverups HERE....

F

fivesixonesk8er

New member
New Mix, Feedback anyone??

Heres a recent mix of mine in where I played drums, mixed, mastered, and produced along with a good friend of mine Greg Shields.


http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7572119

All the drums are all 100% real. No Samples Here!

(This song was also used to test out my new vocal booth!)

Let me know what you think of the mix.

Thanks.
 
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I wont comment on the mix etc as there are way more qualified people here for that. My thoughts are: I didn't like the song at first, esp the beginning. The further the song went on the more I liked it. Keep doing the harmonies like at the end of the song, that's good stuff. Reminds me of Coldplay.
 
Not really my style of music but to my ears everything sounds great. The vocals are nice, obviously that new vocal booth is working well. Seems everything mixes well and has it's own space and none of the frequencies are popping out at me in bad ways. Great mix job.
 
WOW!!

MHO: This has the potential to be a hit. Here'e what I'd do to the arrangement to get it there.

1-A build with distorted Les Pauls and Marshalls, L&R...a little later in the tune. Power chords instead of strings.

2-Cut the length of the verses in the second and third cycles....it get's a little predictable as long as they are....or hit that bridge again with a searing guitar solo, and shorten the verse lengths. It's a little long for pop stations...would do well in AOR FM stations...but it needs just a little build, contrast and/or shortening of/ verses, and/or shortening of the tune....I'd do both versions. Editing can get you there w/o another session.

3- One spot with some chordal ambiguity happens at "my fault..." I didn't analyze it...just listen and see if you agree...listen...you might juast need to intert 4 bars of another basss note...or stronger structure...or figure out the chord you meant to play there. A little careful editing can nail it.


Your voice grabbed be right off. The melody sung an octave up was real good....took it to the next level. The bridge [you made us wait a little too long, I think :^) ] was perfect.

I think you musta heard this playing in your head before you 'wrote' it. It just wicked smacks of inspired 'head tune'.

The ending with the harms was cut off on the player. D'OH!!!

I love this song. You sing the shit out of it. The ideas are great. So much potential. Don't ever let go of this version...try editing short and long versions...add two guitar tracks.......do an acoustic only version, playing with the sound of the acoustic to get the wide jangle.

If you have a dozen more like this....wow. I respect and admire what you can do. My ears tell me you and/or Greg have the gift. maybe it's the two being better than the sum of the parts. You play cleanly, carefully...and within your good abilities.

I've been whanging away at pop music since 1967. I can usually call a big record the first time I hear it on the radio...on the way up. I got the rush when I heard this one.

Best song I've heard since I've been here.


Oh yeah...the recording don't suck...and the TUNE brushes aside any weakness in the technical presentation.

I finally got a vocal room sounding good...a small room full of shit thrown it at odd angles...mixed materials and surfaces. I think I got it near right when I found I didn't have to touch the EQ to make it sound right. Was that what happened on this record? [I don't now jack about recording...]

Best of luck, kid(s). You got "it".
 
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music sounds pretty decent. Nice full balance. The vocals are the weak part, recording wize. Seem to not have the "polish" that the drums, bass have. Maybe a little more verb (if there is any now...) until you hear it, then back it off ...just barely.

Nice that the strings don't come in until later.

Actually, the vocals blend MUCH better during all the string sections, especially when blended with the bg voc.
 
Great song.

I tired of the verse vocal melody after the first couple of times. The singer has the range, and the song is wide open, so why not paint us a prettier picture?
 
Cool

Absolutely awesome job...As an earlier poster said you really sing the shit out of this track...really amazing; I can only hope that my own productions will one day be half as good.

Cheers,
Ben.
 
When Coldplay was mentioned above, I thought I would hate the song. But it's actually quite nice. For me, I wanted to hear some electric guitars for texture later on in the song. I hate a part in my head but it's hard to type out. Just a constant quarter note thing going over the verse or something. Something higher up on the fret board.

Anyway, I enjoyed the song. Good job.
 
Beautiful drum sound!
The arrangement could use some more variation and colur though, it all sounds a bit too plain for me, but the song has great potential. The mix is very good though and the voice is pretty good. Well done!

Joey :):)
 
OK!

I love this effin' song. And I paid more attention to the lyric this time. I think your word selection, syntax, phrasing, and quirks are masterful....nothing sounds contrived or awkward....just like a real person would say it...understated, real, and artful, because its not trying to be profound. And the way you sing it makes me feel what you're feeling...and I can feel my own heart breaking , remembering those feelings in my own life. I can't imagine that you just put a bunch of words on paper about this event...I sense you were there, emotionally, when you sang it. True or not, that's the way it comes across. A "10" ON THE BITCHIN' O' METER. Over the top...and where the real artists of vocal delivery fly. After all the composition, recording and mastering...even if done to perfection, what really counts is the emotion coming outta the speakers. And there ain't no software made that can make it happen.

Re-arranged arrangement suggestions:

Intro.
Verse 1.
Verse 2.
Chorus.
Verse 3.
Verse 4.
Chorus.
Verse 5. [ in come the L&R Les Pauls and Marshals with long, droning power chords]

Bridge Verse 5. [Big guitars continue]
Verse 6

Verse ...recap of Verse 1...acoustic only..as it stands

There's still one element missing after this...the obligatory guitar solo...maybe the verse after the bridge?? A real gut-grabber, full of real passion....like the vox.

I can't remember if that cuts one of your verses...are there 7?
Anyway.

Great job. And I still say this is a hit....with a little interest, and a build. [extra chorus...big guitars later] Right on target. I believe your message and emo. This doesn't suck ...A LOT!!!!

If you're young, kinda attractive to teenage chicks, and continue writing, performing, and recording this way.....you're ticket is , like , punched.
 
Thanks for the In-Depth Critique Jeff!


jeffmaher said:
If you're young......
Click to expand...

I'm actually 19..... both me and the singer are in another band together, and this was a little side project....


Please keep the feedback coming! This is how I have grown as a engineer, by listening to the feedback on this very fourm since 2005!
 
Try double tracking the vocals in the verses... is there a chorus in this song? You need a hook.
 
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