NewVerse come rate

  • Thread starter Thread starter thasicko
  • Start date Start date

.....Rate My New Verse......

  • sick

    Votes: 1 20.0%

  • not sick

    Votes: 4 80.0%
  • Total voters
    5
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thasicko

New member
blessed to be sick wicked n twisted a mis fit wit a 20 inch macettie down to rip shit/ull get hit quick with a brick when i flip high on a mushroom trip i watch your blood run thick/flowin all over the sidewalk your heart stops i drag your body away while it decays /im bringing hell to earth im fucken kursed scince the day of my birth/ill be the first to bring gory to your head so sit back and observe/how we break jaws up on the curb/how we shoot these mutha fuckas down like a bird/how my squadron acts superb when it comes to the killen/drillen holes in your flesh holes in your orgens the street villain sargent/i torture others to allivate my hurt my word is in the y axis still spinnin im draped in guts n blood/ice pick in my hand still grinnin sinnin to win/ my enemys chances are no more then slim/ heavy hands pure evil motherfucker so grimm...............
 
I'm not gonna vote ya down for it. But.....

It would be better if you explained further what exactly you are so angry about. I mean.... I just wanna know who or what pissed you off so bad... This is gonna sound corporate-like... But...

The customer you sell this to will want to either identify and/or sympthize with you. So they wanna identify you and your "cause" (term being used loosely)....


However, if you want to pursue this... Pure anger genres do exist....

Other than that... Pretty good with the pen..
 
To me it sounds like an Insane Clown Posse song, only worse.

A pile of poorly rhymed obscenities with some grammatical issues.

Just my honest opinion.
 
jimmiebananas said:
A pile of poorly rhymed obscenities with some grammatical issues.
Click to expand...


Turned on the radio lately?


P.S. Mine hasn't been on in a looong while... ;)

Cheers! :D
 
???

look you fuckin bannana boy this aint no insane clown posse shit.is my shit you fag.and before you say poorley about lyrics change your fuckin screen name"fuckin retard".and to peritus thanks for the props..come on peeps keep rating wanna hear more thoughts and coments.....
 
thasicko said:
look you fuckin bannana boy this aint no insane clown posse shit.is my shit you fag.and before you say poorley about lyrics change your fuckin screen name"fuckin retard".and to peritus thanks for the props..come on peeps keep rating wanna hear more thoughts and coments.....
Click to expand...

No problem... but..Hey man... Let's hear some recordings of these verses... Ya know.. This is a recording bbs... Just a thought...

P.S. Buy a punching bag man... You don't wanna have a heart attack or go to jail and never pursue your writing/etc do ya?

See... We all take a hit sometime....
 
thasicko said:
look you fuckin bannana boy this aint no insane clown posse shit.is my shit you fag.and before you say poorley about lyrics change your fuckin screen name"fuckin retard".and to peritus thanks for the props..come on peeps keep rating wanna hear more thoughts and coments.....
Click to expand...

If you ask for opinions, you better be able to handle the negatives as well as the positives.

There's no need to get all bent out of shape over this shit.

Sounds like a very poor man's Necro to me.
 
Not sick.....evil....BTW the spelling is MACHETTE and the LONG ones are about 55 CM.....
 
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look you stupid fucks im not mad at about your thoughts just dont rate if its gonna be over stupid shit.dont fuckin worry about how i spell my words.what i ment for all those people who dont understand,is that read the verse the paragraph sentence or what ever i put and rate that.and to the rest who say am i pissed nah im not pissed thats just the way that my style is.sick kinda like brotha lynch..any way be on the look out for more shit and pretty soon ima drop an audio track on here.......
 
First of all you asked for my opinion so I gave it. I even took the liberty of looking at your other lryic posts, which is one of the reasons you got the reply I gave. It's all the same and ICP definitely still comes to mind.

In all complete honesty, the lyric goes nowhere, there's no story, no characters, no cohesiveness or structure whatsoever. There's no landscape or setting painted, there's no timeline or order of any sort. The grammar needs help in a lot of places. Like "ill be the first to bring gory to your head" I didn't know you could bring an adjective to someone's head. And check your tenses in the line "im fucken kursed scince the day of my birth" Even in the style you write it's still hard to digest because it's written in terrible english. But if you want to call me the "fuckin retard" that's fine because your lyrics speak for themselves. It seriously looks like you just filled out some really fucked up mad libs and called it a verse.

Just to show there's no hard feelings, I've decided to write a tribute verse in your wicked ass style:

i'm the sickest of sick most would say that i'm hated/catch you sleepin while i creepin fuck around and get bladed/been killin for years so you could say that i'm jaded/i raped your sister last night so dude you been playded/rip a slit in your dick mix the blood with the pee/this ain't no phony ass shit step to me and you'll see/if you want some faggot ass shit listen to ICP/saw your girl last night kissed my dick and i'm squirtin/then i lay up in the cut and tear up them meat curtains/slay her when i'm done and never think twice/dare ya to step roll the dice and get sliced

I tried, but I'll never be on your level
 
invisiblenemies said:
If you ask for opinions, you better be able to handle the negatives as well as the positives.

There's no need to get all bent out of shape over this shit.

Sounds like a very poor man's Necro to me.
Click to expand...

Wow, that is the worst insult I've heard all month. True, though.
 
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guess what you fucken bannnnnnnnannnnnnna boi i just put a fucken adjective in your fuckin mouth.eat a dick and choke on it get the fuck out.cause your opinionnnnnnnn dont mean shit and change your fuckin gay ass name then start given opinnnions.and those lines that you spit heardm before so dont think your hard mutha fucka your just a bluff softer than pusssssy lips...now get the fuck out................
 
I don't think that rap was bad. What people have to understand is that there are many different kinds of people with different backgrounds, experience, and certainly different ages. I wouldn't judge this rap as bad because I know there are a lot worse. It's also not great because it lacks essence, or story. I don't doubt your rhyming ability, but I know you could probaly write something with more of a storyline, to attract the readers.
The only problem with posting things "less than perfect" is the amount of criticism you will receive, because again, everyone is of a different experience level.
 
yessir said:
I don't think that rap was bad. What people have to understand is that there are many different kinds of people with different backgrounds, experience, and certainly different ages. I wouldn't judge this rap as bad because I know there are a lot worse. It's also not great because it lacks essence, or story. I don't doubt your rhyming ability, but I know you could probaly write something with more of a storyline, to attract the readers.
The only problem with posting things "less than perfect" is the amount of criticism you will receive, because again, everyone is of a different experience level.
Click to expand...

You kinda come off as if you're defending a 1st grader's watercolor painting. The problem isn't that it's less than perfect. The problem is that it lacks substance and purpose and comes off as juvenile in the process. I read this and the first thing that comes to mind is: "is this guy serious?" I don't think we should get too deep into relativism with music. Either it captures or it doesn't. Otherwise we end up defending calculated commercial music because it's not as bad as other music.
 
Let me remind you that this is a home recording website, where you do not have to be a professional lyricist to be given a millimeter of credit. I'm not comparing his lyrics to anyone I would ever listen to, because that is senseless. And I made it clear that it LACKS story or essence. Oh, and who are you to judge what "captures" or what doesn't? You act like you've been in the business and know what it's all about, but you're only 20, with probably no music education. If you're not aware of the music industry today, anything that is violent or obscene is devoured by the public. So maybe his lyrics will one day rapture into it's full potential and make him famous for his vile language. Anyways, I don't think he was doing a singalong with that one, so the spelling doesn't really matter now does it?
 
I didn't criticize his spelling at all. I also wasn't discussing his material from a musical perspective, but from a simple communicative and artistic view. I wasn't arguing whether his flow would sell, because that isn't the point. He asked what people thought of it, and that's what they gave him. What he wrote doesn't just not stack up professionally (little here does, and that's understandable and not a bad thing), but you're not going to find a lot of people into it, especially on a home recording board.

If you've heard of Necro, an intentionally obscene and profane hip hop artist, this is exactly the sort of stuff he writes. If you're not familiar, he does shock tactic lowest common denominator rap that doesn't have any substance or deeper meaning. And while Necro does have a niche audience, he's not exactly selling platinum and gracing MTV with his presence. Does anyone have to have serious music education to call bad music out for what it is? I'm not even talking about business, I'm talking about taste and appeal. But if you like it (which I got the impression that you did not), that's perfectly all right.

It also doesn't help your stance by talking down to someone who is "only 20." But thanks, I make my age public on the board because I'm not too concerned what other people think about how many years I've been alive.
 
Well I'm 19, but I didn't think that mattered, so I didn't post it in my profile because I'm not too concerned about what other people think.
 
thasicko said:
guess what you fucken bannnnnnnnannnnnnna boi i just put a fucken adjective in your fuckin mouth.eat a dick and choke on it get the fuck out.cause your opinionnnnnnnn dont mean shit and change your fuckin gay ass name then start given opinnnions.and those lines that you spit heardm before so dont think your hard mutha fucka your just a bluff softer than pusssssy lips...now get the fuck out................
Click to expand...

Here we go again, another loser who thinks that an attitude like gives him legitimacy.

Sounds like just another talentless hack who thinks that anyone who criticizes his "work" is "hating".

Man, I am soooo sick of this attitude.
 
All right, don't know why you're talking about age when we're peers. Even if you were 40, age shouldn't be that much of an issue. I don't think having a better understanding of music theory and what counts in the industry would make me any more qualified to talk about hip hop lyrics, either. I think in this particular case, a college sociology or psychology class would be more relevant.

And as a complete side issue, the guy has asked us to "rate" his stuff and can't take an ounce of criticism. One reason why I haven't shared my own songs in public yet is because they haven't sustained even my own criticism. Being critical is good. So is enjoying music, and this sort of anti-social material would be hard for most people to enjoy. That's my honest opinion. I'm not going to pat him on the back and say "not my thing, but nice for what it is."
 
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