New telepathic girlfriend - please comment

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Jinkos

Jinkos

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Firstly, thanks for all your comments on the last version. I have considerably altered this new one:
1) New Chorus with old chorus relegated to middle 8 status.
2) Vocals re-recorded on a condenser mic - $70 on ebay - what a difference!
3) Distorted synth now a bit less IN YOUR FACE!
4) Mixed on headphones because my bloody 8yr-old son when and pulled the volume control out of my amplifier - Grrr!

:

Would really like your comments on:
1) Overall Mix - feeling reasonably confident about this, now
2) The new chorus
3) Vocals - some of you weren't so sure about the last lot

Love you all,

James
 
I like the vocal performance better on this one. A bit smoother delivery. I like the guitar riff (the distorted one) - sounds Cars-ish.

The tremolo guitar that comes in in the chorus completely takes everything over. It pulls attention away from the vocals.

I didn't care for the snare sound. Not enough power to it. Sounds like someone hitting a paper grocery bag. OK that was mean, but you get the idea.

Acoustic guitar is missing a bit of detail.

Mix is a bit narrow.
 
The vocals definitely sound better.

The drums sound a little buried, but in retrospect the original was probably the same way.

I think I actually like the original chorus better. The new one's ok, but I think the original was a better chorus than bridge.

The synth is better. Less overwhelming.

The new mix does sound better, much cleaner.
 
OK - thanks - good feedback (and Tripple - I take back what I said, last week about you NOT being like Simon Cowel).

And, like the great Simon, you were annoyingly right. There was a technical problem in the snare sound which, I think is fixed - can anyone confirm?

As for the tremelo guitar - I just got rid of it and it has improved the chorus enormously. You can hear the backing much better, as well. Hopefully enough that people won't prefer the old chorus.

I am also interested to know if people think this song is too long?
Are drums OK?
Is the chorus rocking?
Anything annoying in the vocals? I am really struggling with how to make them sound more natural.

Cheers,
 
I didn't hear the original, but I enjoyed this one. The vocals are out front and very clear, which I like. There are a couple of pitchy spots that could be easily fixed with a little vocal tuning, nothing major, but if fixed would make this song radio ready.

I loved the transition to acoustic guitars and back to electric. That kind of change of pace really keeps the interest up.

I couldn't help thinking as I listened how glad I am that my girl doesn't have telepathic powers. Then I'd have to start thinking about her more, and less about new gear.
 
There are a couple of pitchy spots that could be easily fixed with a little vocal tuning, nothing major, but if fixed would make this song radio ready.

If it isn't too much to ask, could you elaborate? To my untrained ear, they all seemed OK, but I would like to listen harder to the bits you mean. Or anyone else?
 
I think the leads were pretty spot on. If I remember correctly the areas that sounded a little off to me were where the back up vocals came in. When I get home from work and can listen again, I'll be more specific with times. I really can't listen right now.
 
Really witty lyrics - a little Jarvis Cockerish or something Flight of the Concords would like!

I didn't hear original, but vocals sound really present and at a good level with the mix.

The snare seems to have a lot of reverb on it - perhaps if you take some of that out and it might tighten the sound and bring it forward a bit.

Love acoustic breakdown

Harmony in Ch is on 4th note of phrase 'are' and 'have' I don't think they are out they just don't sound as sweet a the others. Sometimes I have found that technically a harmony can be correct but some times a slight adjustment in volume of how you blend them can solve this -

The difference between people who sing back-up and backing vocalists is about volume as well as pitch - play around with it or leave it s I think it is only minor.

HTH

Burt
 
Very witty lyrics. Interesting tune.
Snare could use some personality, not sure if you're using the right sample there. Very good singing.

Joey :)
 
OK - thanks for your support and ideas.

I have done a bit more with the drum sound. Hopefully now better, but I think I need a proper drummer to help me get any further. I think I may know someone.

As for the backing vocals. They are not out of tune, but I think I need to find some harmonies that are a tad easier on the ear. That is something I will have to fix later this week. Quite a bit of experimenting before I get that one right, I think.

Thanks again.
 
i liked this...in fact much of it was so up my street it couldve parked in my driveway ;)


the snare sample isnt great...I think more pop on top and less of the bottom mic would bring it out...id also hit it with lashings of reverb..


acoustic needs to come up a jot...and a little stereo imaging might improve the width a little...or might totally fuck it up...lol some help huh?


btw Crouch End? know it well...i was often fond of a pint in The Dairy and a mates mates parents owned the Princess Alexandria, had a few in there :)
 
The only nit I could find is the harmony backup vocals would be good to be spread out more - spatially. Pan em' hard.

I love the main vocal style. Fits the song really, really well. Sits really well in the mix, too..

heh... I even like the drums on this one. They sound extraordinarily flat, but within the context of this song, I think they work just fine. You could probably find a "better sounding" set of drum samples, but these work, in my opinion.

Found myself kind of groovin' to the song as it was playing, too.

Really well done! Keep it up!
 
OK, finally got a chance to listen again, and it's definitely the back up vocals that seem a little pitchy to me. Around 1:20 and 1:40 for example. I don't know if they are really off pitch or just too loud as suggested earlier. If I was mixing this though, I would run them through something like Waves tune and at least check the pitch on the B/U vocs. Still love the song. At this point it is all about fine tuning.
 
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