New Song - Please Comment

[TripleM]

We have a new song done and would like opinions. Please offer comments on the songwriting, musicianship, and/or recording and mixing. Thank you.

http://www.nowhereradio.com/marshamarshamarsha/singles

The song is called The Food Court Manager.

 

[Track Rat]

Here's my take. The mix is dominated by the acoustic guitar and it's all on one side. I'd have double tracked the acoustic, compressed it a bit more and panned them 3:00 and 9:00.
Also the drums need to come up but at the same time the cymbal crashs are too strident and at a louder listening level could make one spit their fillings. The vocals are very good and need to come forward. Good tune, but over 5 minutes long. Any way to carve it down to 3:30? I'm not slamming you here, just my humble opinion.

 

[TripleM]

Thanks

The acoustic was borrowed and I don't have easy access to it anymore. I suppose I could dup the track and use different amounts of delay on each side. Not an exact substitute, but probably the best I can do. That's good advice though

I can compress the drums and perhaps EQ some of the highs out to keep the cymbals from annoying anyone's cat. That will let me bring up the overall drum levels. This sounded fine on my PC speakers - I wish I had decent monitors.

I'm not sure about bringing out the vox more. They seem pretty clear to me.

As for the running time, maybe I could speed it up to 86 rpm's. (I hope someone is old enough to get that joke)

 

[B.SABBATH]

MMM,
fun song... I cant think of what it reminds me of ......A.M. radio 60's type tunes...... The vocals were very good for this.... but I think it seemed to be a bit long for this type of tune, like instead of wanting more at the end, I had enough.. The recording sounded decent, but a bit harsh at times during some vocal parts..I did have to lower it because I usually listen to things at a fairly loud volume... good job overall!

 

[Major Tom]

Cute tune, I agree with Track Rat that the acoustic guitar dominates the mix, seems to me that if it was brought down the vocals and drums might be at around the right level. I think you should pat yourself on the back, and get some better speakers to mix with. Computer speakers to my ears mostly blow chunks, seems they are always missing midrange and are underpowered...If you can't afford real studio monitors, try using the line out from your computer into your stereo and use that. Also if you can, after a preliminary mix listen thru different systems, your boom box, car stereo, friend's stereo, etc. and then make adjustments for the "average". If you haven't tried this you will be surprised how different a mix will sound on each system. Anyway, good job, sounds good enough to justify some new gear!

 

[TripleM]

I took your advice

I took most all the advice I got here. Thanks. I left it the same length - I like what it says and I like the cheezy lead break and so I didn't want to shorten it.

I compressed the acoustic, took the level down a bit, and sent it out both sides. I double tracked it and used slightly different delays on each side.

I changed the crash cymbal on the drums and compressed it a bit. It should be a little better.

B-SAB - I think the grating voice you heard was the high harmony on the chorus. I EQ'd by taking down most everything above 3.5K by about 3DBs. It sounds better.

Thanks again. Give it another listen if you have the time.

 

[B.SABBATH]

hey triple,

it does sound better, nice job! I wish I could apply suggestions that quickly and easily...

Now if you could only shorten down to 3:30.

one more thing, I don't like the sound of the cymbals... just had to add that..

 

[CyanJaguar]

Here's my take. The mix is dominated by the acoustic guitar and it's all on one side. I'd have double tracked the acoustic, compressed it a bit more and panned them 3:00 and 9:00.
Also the drums need to come up but at the same time the cymbal crashs are too strident and at a louder listening level could make one spit their fillings. The vocals are very good and need to come forward. Good tune, but over 5 minutes long. Any way to carve it down to 3:30? I'm not slamming you here, just my humble opinion.

what he said.

I'd also like to add, this band has a good energy to them. The vocalist is very convinced.

I think you should send all the guitars to a separate buss and eq them as a whole. i think the kick needs kick.

I like the group, the mix just needs to be tweaked.

funk on!

ps. Nice guitars solo.