New Song for Evaluation - Rock

I took a listen, it's a nice song, I wanted it to be a little more up tempo if you know what I mean. I really liked the harmonies on the chorus. The intro riff had a bit of a Smashing Pumpkins feel going on which I liked alot.

Keep up the good work!

Dave.
 
Dude very cool.

the first thing I thought also was smaching pumkins. I felt like I was in the North West definetly

cool song
 
Good opening man...I dug havin the gtr down and bringing it up to that hot bass. Bring it down for the vocal...very nice. In tune..inst and vocals...10 points man! After 1st hook..Back to the gtr intro, only do 1/2..very smart. verse 2...nice n' clean man. Vocal is hot. very clear. IMHO The hook is a little weak. I like how he holds the note on "my mind" on the A chord. ...good release here man...nice rhythm change on the gtr. Back to the hook...good song structure man....yikes abrupt ending.
good job here guys...keep it up.
I'll tell you what I would do with the hook w/o changing your chord structure...It's in the rhythm of it. Put some kicks in there man...it's too straight. G-C...A-D...perfect for some John Bonham type kicks..play it straight for 1st line, kick the D chord to the G...do it again...do it again...then kick the last G -C to the straight held A chord. I would also vary the kicks.
 
Everybody,

Thanks for the listen. Much appreciated.

I think that the general consenus is that it could use a bit more energy perhaps with use of a slightly quicker tempo.

Firesole - really good idea on the stronger turn-around in the chorus. I like it! I think I feel exactly where you are going with that. Much appreciate the patient thoughts and good advice!

Jeff
 
I, too, like the SP thing going on. It doesn't seem to follow through enough in the rest of the song, which is almost too quiet, and slow, like others have noted. I like the lyrics, but the vocals crack during the chorus -- the backing vox is especially weird -- too loud? out of tune?

Sounds like I had a lot of problems with this, but I do really enjoy it. I think the song is strong and deserves a 2nd look.

G
 
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