New Song: Fly Away

M

Matthew M.

Member
Here is a song I wrote about 2-3 years ago, but barely getting around to recording it, because I've done enough covers at this point. So, here it is. It's not meant as a final mix, but consider this a good start. The lyrics will be completely revamped, as I know they utterly blow and it's just merely me spouting off whatever comes to mind, just to put something down, but this should give you a good idea where I'm headed. Everything you hear is me and my apologies if the sound quality isn't too great... SoundClick only allows MP3 format, much to my chagrin.

Critiques or anything else is much appreciated... thanks!

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_songInfo.cfm?bandID=910733&songID=8972785
 
It sounds great, nothing to add, i would like to hear it with mastering, as a finished song.

Cheers
 
The only flaw I can find is that sometimes the cymbal seems to be a little loud and it collapses against the nice paced atmosphere of the song. Other than that, you have a really catchy and dreamy song. Congratulations!
 
I like the vocal. The harmonies could be more acutely pitched at their intro. Brian Wilson used to triple-track each harmony to get a phasie blend. A thought...

The hard panned, out of pulse L&R sweep is harmful to the tune, at least after the intro. Focus from the vocal and words is stolen. If it were mine, I dispense with the sweep entirely: the tune stands on its own without that distraction.

There are some shakey chords in the progression.....and the -7 on top of the -maj7 is really nasty...I know what you're going for, but another, less shocking dissonance would be better. Again, the tune stands righteously without that fumbled device.

I like the tune, concept, and ideas. Refinement! Good work. I mean it.
 
My biggest critique is the alternating panning on the guitar. (Or the out-of-phase L/R sweep, or whatever the correct name would be.) It's kind of painful on headphones.

Otherwise, it's a soothing and poppy. No real nits besides the panning pain.
 
Yeah, Steve. I'm thinking if Matt was wedded to the idea, confining the sweep to a narrower field, or reducung the depth, and putting it in time to the song, would be a good thing.
 
Nice smooth vocals. They sounded pretty. I'd introduce the harmony vocals earlier in the song - they sound real nice. Some pitchiness on the harmony vox here and there (e.g., on the left side at about 2;08).

My only other real nit is the tremelo guitar. When it's on both sides at once it gets a little much if you're listening on headphones. I got a little dizzy. :D
 
Any helpful feedback on this would be greatly appreciated! I'm thinking of perhaps submitting this one to a contest, so any comments would be great. Thanks!
 
Yeah dude... Listening to the new mix right now.. This is infectious!

During the bridge, there's some funky notes being played that don't seem to fit. Not sure if they're wrong notes, or what, but... The tune is beautiful in its simplicity.. Keep it simple. A simple melody line during the bridge - played by guitar, or keys or something could work...

Hmmm.... The latter part of the song loses a bit of its appeal for me, because it gets too messy with everything going on.

Great concept here, bro. My thoughts are - keep it simple. The latter part of the tune (before it goes back to just the "ahhhh"'s) has too much going on. The beginning of the song had my eyebrows raised... It really is a beautiful concept, and it's very unique.

Keep workin' on it!
 
Much better with the guitar travel tamed and confined to a narrow field. There's a couple good doses of HF digitally harsh sibilance on some of the vox's 'ess' sounds....listening a high volume, it's like a knife in the ears. Mabbe run the track through a multiband compressor, and compress that 4000-ish range....a selective thing...cuz it sounds great and sheeney, otherwise.

As for the dissonances, they're gonna hurt more than help, I think. I got a high tolerance for wierd dissonances that work....and I listen to and enjoy some whacked-out harmony; but these are tough to take....need some tweaking and addition or subtraction... setup or re-voicing....something, IMHO. If you're entering a contest, I think you'd want to make the dissonances with significantly less vertigo and slap. I think you can elicit the same mood with more finesse...lead the ear better, and only bruise, without drawing blood. :^) Handled better, they probably wouldn't sound like mistakes...or moments of harmonic confusion....which to me, they do. Intended, or not.

Aside from the above, I love the melody, arrangement, and mood...and the quality of the vocal...and the quality of the recorded sounds!!
 
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