New Song - Critiques?

  • Thread starter Thread starter Aaron Cheney
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Aaron Cheney

Aaron Cheney

Favorite Chord: C 6/9
Hey Everyone,
Just finished a rough mix for "Each Breath I Breathe Her". Any thoughts on the mix/ song/ arrangement?

Song is here.

It should start playing automatically. I know it's a weird looking link - it's piggy-backed on my wife's salon site.

Thanks!
Aaron
 
Hey, I don't have a chance to listen to it now, but I will move it over to the MP3 clinic where it will have a better chance for comments.

Thanks,
 
I like the bass tone, but I am a bass player first... I don't like the eq on the vocals in the beginning. I think you were trying for that phone effect, but it wasn't cut enough. When it cleans up, you sound much better.
I like the tasty wah on the right guitar.

Nice tune. Clean up that stuff in the intro, and it's a keeper!
 
Good tune, good mix, good performance means good job. I don't hear the phone effect that Rokket referred to. I like it all the way it is now. Change nothing.

Cool man.
 
I like it. All sound pretty good. I would bring up the drums up a little to give more power to the song. Good job.
 
Rokket mentioned the 'phone effect'. I didn't hear it that way, but I think I know what gave him that impression: The bass range is solid. The drums are sounding OK, but not punching for some reason I can't figure out...simply to down on the level? Or it's a very old-school 70's funk kit, with a tight snare?? Then the guitars...lacking in lower mids...along with the vocals. It's like a 3db boost between 300/ 600 hz would put some lacking 'belly' and power into the mix. There's a hole where 'power' sits. Normally a vocal can fill that, if it's not rolled off severely; but your voice is clear, and tends to sound in the higher midrange....either naturally, or with EQ roll-off. There is little 'phatness' in the sounds of the finished productions.

I listened to four or five tunes.

I love the clarity of the recorded sounds. I love the careful guitar playing and the distorted sound you get. I like the throwback 70's 'funky chicken' era stain on the grooves. Nice mesh between parts. You're on the verge of great work.

But here's what I perceived as the weaknesses....in this and the other songs I listened to:

Melody: the vocal melodies are weak and uninventive.... Uninspired. And the melodic rhythms are slave to the guitar parts...it's like you're hearing the guitar parts as vocal melody.


Texture: the funk grooves are not contrasted with 'releases'...freewheeling bridges with flowing notes, chords and sustaining, connected, voice-led changes. A ride cymbal capping the wave...I don't remember hearing much or any that caught my attention. At some point the struttin' chicken has to take flight...to keep it interesting.

Themes: Not very often do two or more instruments play a supporting theme...maybe a four or eight-bar melodic support device. The majority of the groove figures have a two-bar turnaround. It's funk-spazz that keeps getting ready for a journey that doesn't materialize.

Harmony: Sometimes...in the later tunes I listened to, you got into some altered chords and other devices in the progressions. [the ballad, IIR] I can hear what you are aiming for, but the voices in the chords are disconnected in the flow from one change to another. Each voice in a series of harmonic changes has to flow from a note, and flow to a note, that connect them...like four mini-melodies. The top voice usually takes presidence...and the lower voices need to make 'singing' sense for the hearer to follow. Some of your progressions' voices drop off cliffs or vaporize mid-sentence. The progression ...even though it may be 'correct', is weak....moving only a little outside the box.... and not brave enough to go into battle. Sort of...

You probably know all this stuff...but maybe you need to be reminded..as I do...to apply it in constructing our own things. The universe changes when we hear and listen to what's inside, instead of listening passively through our ears to what's outside, right?

Suggestions for this piece:

Find the missing lower mids outside of the bass guit.

Future reference:

Try listening to your musical work...no vox, and hearing what melodic vocal lines your mind can contrive......music that weaves it's own strong path...rhythmically and melodically, independent and/or walking upon the supporting instrumental stuff. Words later. The melody gotta SING!

Listen to Sting, [one of your faves] Tower of Power, etc....specifically for how they use 'releases' to add contrast and texture and motion to a song.

Pay carefull attention to the chords used in jazzier progressions...make sure there's flow..and they make sense to the ear.

Attempt to discover thematic material on one instrument already recorded; build the next instrument's parts using some of that information....instruments playing together are powerful.....and power is something you need to get more of.

If you can generate compositional strengths like these, you got it all.

MHO/YMMV
 
... I don't like the eq on the vocals in the beginning. I think you were trying for that phone effect, but it wasn't cut enough. When it cleans up, you sound much better.

Rokket....you nailed it. That is exactly what I was going for, and exactly how it went wrong. I've worked on the mix and exaggerated this effect for a better contrast between the intro voice and the full voice later.
 
I listened to four or five tunes.

Hi Jeff,
Thanks for the listen and extensive thoughts...especially the ideas about more power in the low mids.

Do you have formal musical training? Your approach to harmony definitely sounds educated. OTOH, I've always just done what came intuitively. It's served me well so far....

We're all at different places along the great continuum of music, and it's always great to hear about the view from a different vantage point. The beautiful thing about music is that there's always more to learn.
 
I've studied privately and had some actual schooling in harmony and arrangement. But the best educaton I got was working with great musicians. One band had three Berk grads in it. I was there cuz none of 'em could sing really well. One was my house-mate. I spent a year in that unit. They built me. The sax player did the Downbeat Mag's 'Note for Note' solo transcription and analysis feature when he went to NY. My roomie did eight years with the Pointers, two as Englebert's accompanying pianist, and now does filmscore. The bass player is in LA...playing with everybody... Heavy-hitters. I was a blessed hack garage-rocker of 19...who could sing. They used to take me to see Gray Sargent and Mike Stern so I could get a clue. Stern sent me to Randy Roos for study....I'm a was horrible student. I was 19..and more into girls.

That was 30 years ago. I got married and had a family...so I got a real job and retired. Back for five years....trying to learn recording...compose comercial ditties....and regaining my instrument....gigging solo guitar for a living. Still trying not to suck. I know more than I can play. Got some more private study last year. But I gotta get the recording thing happening. My retiremant plan. I have three friends who make a living at their home studios. It's a long road.

But what I kinda can help guys here with is 'concept'...a little. By the grace of God this stuff was dropped on me...and I'd like to pass it along to help where it can...the stuff that goes on at the other side of the recording microphones. I don't know squat about recording. :^)

I read you bio. A real interesting road. I never had the extensive studio stuff that you fell into. Musta been a real kick.
 
Critiques... Your hair looks funny? :D

Anyway, I could hear the "phone" effect once Rokkett mentioned it. It's not very pronounced, but it's enough to detract from the song when you notice it. I'd either cut the effect or turn it up enough to seem more intentional.

I think the bass could stand to be panned closer to the center. It comes through really clearly in the left, but I'm not hearing a lot in the right.

I liked the break-down near the end with the weird electronic noises.

Your guitar tone sounded good. Though, again, I think they were panned a little harder than I like.
 
Nice arrangement and performance. I like the guitar effects you've woven in. Nice work! Sounded great to me.
 
I think the bass could stand to be panned closer to the center. It comes through really clearly in the left, but I'm not hearing a lot in the right.

That's weird. It's panned dead center.

I liked the break-down near the end with the weird electronic noises.

I did that with my voice, actually. :eek:

Your guitar tone sounded good. Though, again, I think they were panned a little harder than I like.

Thanks!
 
I like the mix.

Good recording, nice mix. The vocals might be a bit too far in front for my taste, but not too bad. The drums could come up a bit.

The bass is money.

I like the opening riff, but (as a guitar player) I'd messy it up a bit. Its too perfect, almost like you have a strict gate on it.

All in all, a nice piece of work.
 
That's excellent! Great mix, great song, and great performance. Loud and clear. You've got a lot of talent. This could have easily have been a commercial rock radio hit back in the 80s.

What type of pre-amp are you using?

Cheers,
Joseph
 
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