New Lyrics - Looking For you.

L

louisv

New member
Tell me what you think about it.
Even if you hate it, I'll accept it don't worry. :P
I always love feedback.
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[Chorus]
Where are you?
End this now
Are you there
Reunite us now or
End this now

[Verse 1]
Maybe you don't get it
I can explain it yeah
So no one gets confused
Under, above, abused
No way you got that
Day after day after the other
Everyone stays back
Re-looking around older

[Bridge // guitar solo]

[Verse 2]
Statue that know my quest well
Thanks and farewell
And caught in her spell
None sees a fairy tell
Dead and gone girl
I'm traveling around the world
Never gonna find this thing
God, am i misunderstanding

[Chorus]
Where are you?
End this now
Are you there
Reunite us now or
End this now
 
Hey

As a whole I think your lyric is quite fine. However, I like your rhyme scheme in the first verse but I think the very rhyme seems a bit forced. Also the sentence Above, Under. Abused. I can see were you are going since it sounds cool but I would suggest not using it. in other words "kill your darlings". I would suggest using the same rhyme scheme to verse 2 since you have four lines rhyming and that reads a bit tough, however, depending on the melody you can probably pull it off. Other than that, good write

Hope you can use this
 
Oh, one more thing

statue that now my quest well.. What do you mean by that - you probably have a point with this for yourself and that is cool, I have no problems with lyrics with ambiguity that doesnt tell the listener everything but I was confused by that line
 
newbiewriter said:
Hey

As a whole I think your lyric is quite fine. However, I like your rhyme scheme in the first verse but I think the very rhyme seems a bit forced. Also the sentence Above, Under. Abused. I can see were you are going since it sounds cool but I would suggest not using it. in other words "kill your darlings". I would suggest using the same rhyme scheme to verse 2 since you have four lines rhyming and that reads a bit tough, however, depending on the melody you can probably pull it off. Other than that, good write

Hope you can use this

statue that now my quest well.. What do you mean by that - you probably have a point with this for yourself and that is cool, I have no problems with lyrics with ambiguity that doesn't tell the listener everything but I was confused by that line
Click to expand...

thanks for the feed back but I'd like to explain something: this is what ''under above, abused'' means.. nothing to do with killing girls but now that you point that out i might change it.

Maybe you don't get it ( so you're under )
I can explain it yeah ( because I am above )
So no one gets confused (or abused)
Under, above, abused (now I'm just explaining everything in 3 words)


''statue that knows my quest well'' statue ''of liberty''
 
hey

Thank you for the reply. I didnt mean "kill your darling" as killing girls :D
It is a saying or proverb "kill your darlings" means leave out something you like for the greater good of the whole. for instance, a film director might cut out his favourite scene because it might not fit the film perfectly, just like a songwriter might leave out a line he or she really likes but does not serve the song well.
 
newbiewriter said:
hey

Thank you for the reply. I didnt mean "kill your darling" as killing girls :D
It is a saying or proverb "kill your darlings" means leave out something you like for the greater good of the whole. for instance, a film director might cut out his favourite scene because it might not fit the film perfectly, just like a songwriter might leave out a line he or she really likes but does not serve the song well.
Click to expand...

OOHHH OK sorry i feel stupid now haha I'm french so i never heard that expression but it's always nice to learn something new
 
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