new lyrics...i really like them, and kinda hate them

  • Thread starter Thread starter cello_pudding
  • Start date Start date
C

cello_pudding

Well-known member
i really hate the one line "baby bird" but that's what the whole song is about.

well...its about noticing mortality and life's fragility.

anyways...


the puddles that pass
by my feet
cut throught the grass
onto the street

my eyes find my own
for moments quite brief
is reality whats shown
or is more underneath

baby bird, fell from the sky
that came to comfort
and stayed to blind
never attempt to tell the time
for worry's not worth the try

soon to be dried
by the sun's alarm
it sits to wait
in hopeful unharm

there he lie, scattered
but somehow relieved
how nothing mattered
now, i the bereaved

baby bird, fell from the sky
that came to comfort
and stayed to blind
never attempt to tell the time
for worry's not worth the try
 
cello_pudding said:
i really hate the one line "baby bird" but that's what the whole song is about.

well...its about noticing mortality and life's fragility.

anyways...


the puddles that pass
by my feet
cut throught the grass
onto the street

my eyes find my own
for moments quite brief
is reality whats shown
or is more underneath

baby bird, fell from the sky
that came to comfort
and stayed to blind
never attempt to tell the time
for worry's not worth the try

soon to be dried
by the sun's alarm
it sits to wait
in hopeful unharm

there he lie, scattered
but somehow relieved
how nothing mattered
now, i the bereaved

baby bird, fell from the sky
that came to comfort
and stayed to blind
never attempt to tell the time
for worry's not worth the try
Click to expand...

Why not change "baby bird" to "small feathered one"?
 
because its wordy.

baby bird is there because i said..i want to write a song...and my friend was responds...i saw a dead bird today. and so i wrote something.
 
cello_pudding said:
because its wordy.

baby bird is there because i said..i want to write a song...and my friend was responds...i saw a dead bird today. and so i wrote something.
Click to expand...

It's one extra word. Leave off Small. Just make it "feathered one", then you've got your two words.
 
Lots of other words you can use, if baby bird is rubbing your the wrong way:
little bird
helpless bird
silent bird
quiet bird
dead bird
dying bird
frail bird
or
baby bird
 
lmao dude what the hell is wrong with baby bird, its IMO better than little feathered one... u dont want people to laugh at u do u?
anyways i like it alot...
the only thing, sometimes its trying to hard to rhyme. scattered mattered....
but it all makes sense is the good thing...
i esecially like the "soon to be dried by the suns alarm"
thats really good. let him keep baby bird damnit...
just name the song baby bird, mainly to spite a certain someone... just kiddin pal
 
andyhix said:
Lots of other words you can use, if baby bird is rubbing your the wrong way:
little bird
helpless bird
silent bird
quiet bird
dead bird
dying bird
frail bird
or
baby bird
Click to expand...
Good suggestions andyhix.

Good lyrics too, nice crafting that invokes some thought in the reader.

;) :) ;) :)
 
I'd make it "little bird". Then it'll sound like a combination of "Little Wing" and "Free Bird", which are definitely cool and give an additional context to the song.
Too much of a stretch? ;)
 
I really like those lyrics, wish I could write like that!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top