New Lyrics - feedback appreciated.

[jdblessing1970]

The Great Exaggerator (c)copyright 2007 by Jeff Blessing

David was a little shepherd boy a long, long time ago,
Nobody had any clue just how far that he would go
First he killed a giant with just a sling and a stone,
Next thing we know, David’s sitting on the throne.

You make something out of nothing,
You turn lesser into greater,
You make mountains out of molehills
You’re the Great Exaggerator

When two thousand people came and sat upon a hill
Waiting for the Master to explain to them Your will
You fed them all with just five fish and two meager loaves of bread
You proved to each and everyone You’ll do just what You said

You make something out of nothing,
You turn lesser into greater,
You make mountains out of molehills
You’re the Great Exaggerator

No wonder the faith of a mustard seed can be enough to move a mountain
When we give a thimbleful, You make into a fountain

There are times in this life that I feel so worthless and so small
It seems I can’t do anything, that I’m no use at all
And then I hear Your voice so gentle yet so strong
Reminding me of what it is that I’ve known all along

You make something out of nothing,
You turn lesser into greater,
You make mountains out of molehills
You’re the Great Exaggerator
You made a shepherd into a king
Five fishes into a feast,
If You can make a mountain from a molehill,
What will You make of me?

-------------

BTW, I write my lyrics with a concept of a tune in my head at the time, but I can't write music to save my life...if anyone takes a shine to any of my lyrics and wants to give the music a shot, let me know!

p.s. Not all of my lyrics are religious in nature, but lately they do have religious undertones. I also write just plain poetry, and occasional just plain crap.

Jeff

 

[up-fiddler]

The Great Exaggerator (c)copyright 2007 by Jeff Blessing

David was a little shepherd boy a long, long time ago,
Nobody had any clue just how far that he would go
First he killed a giant with just a sling and a stone,
Next thing we know, David’s sitting on the throne.

You make something out of nothing,
You turn lesser into greater,
You make mountains out of molehills
You’re the Great Exaggerator


I also write just plain poetry, and occasional just plain crap. Jeff

Nice job. I like the idea of the omnipotent Great Exaggerator. It is an interesting take on a millenia old subject. The last line of the first verse I would change though. It sounds too much like "The next thing you know Ol Jed's a millionaire" to me. I can't get that out of my head and it ends up detracting from the song but perhaps that is just my take on it. If, down the line, you still want someone to do the music let me know and I'll take a stab at it. As far as writing the occasional crap piece, join the club. There's many of us in it. We even have a secret hand shake.

 

[ido1957]

Well Jeff, it reads pretty good and seems like it could be fairly musical. Having read the bible these stories are pretty familiar .
I just don't get this line "You’re the Great Exaggerator". To me, exaggerating is not a good quality. I wonder why you would use that noun/adjective.

 

[up-fiddler]

Well Jeff, it reads pretty good and seems like it could be fairly musical. Having read the bible these stories are pretty familiar .
I just don't get this line "You’re the Great Exaggerator". To me, exaggerating is not a good quality. I wonder why you would use that noun/adjective.

I sort of understood that to mean He is able to make all things much bigger than life. (But I could be way off base.) That was what I found most interesting in the work. jmho

 

[jdblessing1970]

Well Jeff, it reads pretty good and seems like it could be fairly musical. Having read the bible these stories are pretty familiar .
I just don't get this line "You’re the Great Exaggerator". To me, exaggerating is not a good quality. I wonder why you would use that noun/adjective.

I struggled a bit with the "untruthfulness" implied in "exaggeration." In the song, I see at one of two ways...the untruthfulness is only when we see things through our eyes, not His; and I use it as an synonym of "to magnify". Besides, I thought it was much more musical and just plain fun. Went with the concept of making mountains out of molehills which was what I started with.

 

[jdblessing1970]

Nice job. I like the idea of the omnipotent Great Exaggerator. It is an interesting take on a millenia old subject. The last line of the first verse I would change though. It sounds too much like "The next thing you know Ol Jed's a millionaire" to me. I can't get that out of my head and it ends up detracting from the song but perhaps that is just my take on it. If, down the line, you still want someone to do the music let me know and I'll take a stab at it. As far as writing the occasional crap piece, join the club. There's many of us in it. We even have a secret hand shake.

Dang...I knew that line looked familiar... it even has the same rythym! hmmm...will have to fix that. That's the same problem I have with trying to make my own music...I usually wind up with a "copied" tune in my head I'm writing to. Funny thing is, I once wrote two "songs" to the same tune...didn't realize it until I started singing them. lol Like I said, I can't write original music to save my life.

 

[LI_Slim]

Calling what God does exaggeration is actually an interesting take.


But c'mon, is your name really "Blessing"???

 

[jdblessing1970]

Calling what God does exaggeration is actually an interesting take.


But c'mon, is your name really "Blessing"???

Actually, yet it is!

There's underlying humor in the song...people saw a shepherd boy, but God said he was a King...same for the fish and feast. The exaggeration was only in our eyes, because by the end, God proved himself right and us wrong.

The Lord Almighty knows the spirit in which it's all meant.

Last line first verse rewrite: When everything was said and done, he was sitting on the throne.

What do y'all think?

 

[jdblessing1970]

possible title change

Here's a thought....I'm also considering changing the title from "The Great Exaggerator" to "Mountains out of Molehills." Which do you folks think would be better?

 

[up-fiddler]

Jeff - Long story short.... I just got a UA LA610 which I needed to test with something. I was dinking around with your Lyrics in front of me and recorded something with one take. I won't post it without your permission though. If you want I will erase it from the deck immediately. I was just testing the new pre but if you would like to hear it then I will post it up as an mp3 and paste a link in for everyone. Dave aka up-fiddler

 

[jdblessing1970]

Jeff - Long story short.... I just got a UA LA610 which I needed to test with something. I was dinking around with your Lyrics in front of me and recorded something with one take. I won't post it without your permission though. If you want I will erase it from the deck immediately. I was just testing the new pre but if you would like to hear it then I will post it up as an mp3 and paste a link in for everyone. Dave aka up-fiddler

Actually, I'd be interested to hear what you got.

 

[up-fiddler]

Ok. You can hear it....

.... with This link.

This was a single take with only one mic and used as a test of my new UA LA610 mic pre. It is rough as heck. Signal path = Simultaneous Vox and cheapo Takamine guitar->one SP T3 mic->LA610->MDR24->mp3 converter->website -> your ears

I cleaned up the tenses and added the Alle's to tie things together. I also took a bit of liberty with the ending to try and tie it all together a bit. My sincerest apologies if you don't approve. As I stated before, I can take it down and erase it as soon as you want it that way. I certainly didn't mean to take liberties with your lyrics and upset you or change the meaning of the song. I know what a double edged sword it is to have others record your music. You enjoy that fact that they did it but are never totally pleased with their interpretation. Anywhooooo, I hope you enjoy.

 

[Folkie]

Last line first verse rewrite: When everything was said and done, he was sitting on the throne.

What do y'all think?

A couple of things. First, it's great, lyrically. The replacement line above fits the meter better, more closely matching your other verses.

Second--definition #2 of Exaggerate: To enlarge or increase to an abnormal degree: thick lenses that exaggerated the size of her eyes.

Next, don't change the title. "Mountains out of Molehills is also usually a less complimentary term for someone who inappropriately exaggerates (first definition) a problem.

Your lyrics present an interesting irony in that "The Great Exaggerator" actually can make a mountain out a molehill--and it's a GOOD thing. I find it a rather witty twist on the expected definitions in both cases.

My only problem was that I couldn't fit a tune to it, but that has nothing to do with you, and is no dig on the song.

Haven't had a chance to listen to up-fiddler's version of it yet. Should be fun.

 

[jdblessing1970]

Well, I had just typed a long response and lost it all when I tried to post it...lets try this again.

Fiddle, Thanks so much...that made my weekend. I've never EVER had anyone else sing one of my songs before, and I've been writing these things of and on for years. That was more folksy than I envisioned but I do like folksy and I have to admit that the lyrics lend themselves to that style better. I tend to sing in a lower register than yourself, so it was hard to sing along, but it was truly a pleasure to listen to. You did well in your interpretation. (Heck, who I am to critize your music? I already stated that I can't compose a decent original tune to save my life.)

Unfortunately for some, this really incourages me to post some more of my lyrics. I just hope I don't become a pain for you folks, but I've been needing a place like this for a long long time. I'll also do my part to give feedback to you guys as well. Thanks.