'never grow old' and 'too late'

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treebarkjerry

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Hi everyone. I've been home recording for over ten years, but only recently starting to put effort into some equipment and the quality of the recordings.
I play all of the instruments myself except the drum track that I program with Fruityloops and I use Audacity for everything post. I have a lot of critiques of my own stuff but I'll hold back and hope there's some constructive criticism out there for me.

Never Grow Old: https://soundcloud.com/muckmusic-2/never-grow-old

Too Late: https://soundcloud.com/muckmusic-2/too-late

Check out my other songs too.
 
One song per thread is the usual practice. I gave them both a listen. The first one didn't grab me at all. You might have had a nice groove going underneath, but the voice overs were too loud. I didn't see the point.

The second one was quite a nice mellow groove as well, but didn't go anywhere. I would suggest a more conventional song structure, with verse, chorus, and some vocals. The only thing I found unattractive here were the repeated string bends toward the end, which were all flat and sounded discordant.
 
Hi - I listened to Too Late. I like the way the guitars intermingle, and the background "aahs" give a nice ethereal vibe. The main "riff" or melody is pretty cool. I wasn't a fan of the bass - it sort of meandered like another guitar line; would have preferred if it had anchored the groove and provided some strong rhythmic interest. Hope that helps.
 
I listened to "Never Grow Old". I really liked the piece. I think I might bring the drums up a bit. Really dig this experimental stuff.
 
Maybe I should have posted this in the songwriting forum instead...

Robus - thanks for the input about the voices being too loud. sorry you didn't see the point? as far as conventional song structure and adding vocals, that's not really my style. you're right on about it not going anywhere though. something I've been trying to work on.

jm67 - I know what you mean about the bass...a lot of times the bass part is written last and mostly is made up kind of quick or is a guitar part that I was going to throw out. workin on it

easlern - thank you.
 
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