Need lyricists........

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Tyler22

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Hey what's up?

Me and my band were gonna write a song about the war anyways I am having the worste writers block I have ever had in my life!!!! I cant write a thing....anyways I posted the song here and was wondering if someone could help me out? I wrote the verse about 6 months ago but I still don't have a chorus..

All of my equipment is out at my recrording studio at my frummers house....all i had here is fruity loops(for drums), my backup squier guitar, and a little 35 watt roque amp......so i apoligize for how everything sounds lol.......

The heavier part is the chorus and the 2nd guitar that you hear picking out notes is the vocal tune so if anyone could help me out? It doesn't have to be about the war i just need something!I just need words for the chorus.

"War song 55"

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/fullcontactmusic.htm


verse-1

will you hear me now
i'm yelling out
please help me

red fills the sky
and i know why
i'm dieing
 
Are you and your band in the military? Have you been in combat? Don't write what you don't know. If you are not in the military, and haven't been there, how are you really going to know what it's like? Don't rely on movies or the media to give you any clue what combat is like. If you have to write about it, do it from the perspective of being a civilian and your personal thoughts and feelings. What you wrote is weak and cliche'd. If you must write from the perspective of a soldier, talk to one who has seen combat. Just my opinion, of course, and you are free to dismiss it. But I am on active duty...
 
Thanks for the reply....you're right I should ask someone who is in the army to assist me in writing........could you maybe give me some ideas or thought on what you feel or what it's like?????

but don't even think for one second that people should write songs in only what they know or what they have experienced..............there have been many songs writen on just a feeling not just experience......and i can imagine what going to war is like and i wasn't trying to affend anyone by writing a song about the war......so sorry if I wanted to write a song that everyone might be interested in................
 
I'm not offended by it, I was just thinking that if you are going to tackle something like that, research will be your best friend. And I was saying that based on what you had written only. In a combat situation, you are scared shitless, no matter how tough you think you are, or how well you have been trained. You wonder from each moment if you can do what you were trained to do.
This might give you some insight, but I highly recommend you talk to someone face to face about what they went through. I could go into it some, but most of what I saw was mop-up operations with little or no actual fighting. You could also look into other aspects of the war. I know there are those who believe it wasn't warrented. I have no opinion on that, but a lot of famous people are speaking out about it. Maybe you could write something that explores both sides of that issue. This is again, only my opinion, and I apologize if I came off sounding like an ass!
 
I understand your point about writing what you know, but songs are a little different than longer works of literature. You don't need quite as much detail into the minutae of a topic.... you just need one powerful emotion, and sometimes you can transfer an emotion you already know, say fear, or anger, or joy, or anguish, onto a character that is doing something you have never experienced and make it work in a song. Not always... but sometimes:

Paul Simon has never fought in a boxing ring, but the line "...cut me, 'til I cried out in my anger and my shame, I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains...". That's powerful.

Sting has never shot anybody, but the line "I orphaned his children, I widowed his wife,All for no reason, just one piece of lead, I hung my head, I hung my head." kind of says it all.

You can't out-research crappy lyric writing. Have you ever listened to "Alexander the Great" by Iron Maiden? (I know... I know :p ). They researched the crap out of that song. It is completely factual, and sounds like they took their term project and set it to music, just one fact after another. Aboslutely terrible.

On the other hand, a "researched" song can be pulled off if you keep the story interesting enough:

Gordon Lightfoot never went down in shipwreck... to my knowledge, and he doesn't try to pass the song off like he did. He just tells the story.

A
 
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