My new song "I Want To Be Here"

[Strat1958]

Also posted in the Songwriters forum.

I won't give much of a preamble on this one, since some say that ruins the song for them

This is quite a departure from my last song "The Blue Horizon" (which was covered beautifully by Gecko Zzed). I raunched it up a little, making it into a bit of a blues rocker, along the lines of the White Album version of "Revolution".

Didn't use JamStudio on this one, just a Strat through a Vox amp, a Martin acoustic, Fender bass (direct-injected using Zoom's Bassman amp sim), and PC Drummer for the kit.

I've already had some suggestions on the mix, what do you guys think?

-Mike

I Want To Be Here
Copyright 2009 by Mike Pilling

[V1]
I want to be here, he said to me
Really not looking for a break
Why wont you people just let me be
Not everyone wants to be saved
I want to understand but I dont get it
So I grab my coffee and forget it

[V2]
I want to be here, she said to me
As she stood in line for her meal
Im happy and free of responsibility
The friends around me are real
I think she wants to be left alone
Wants to live a life unknown

[CHORUS ]
We feel good when we try to help
Tell them what they should do
"If they only had a bit more drive
They could start anew"
We want to keep our conscience clear
But I can still hear them saying
I want to be here

[SOLO, follows structure of the Verse]

[CHORUS]

 

[zero00]

I like the mix, but it's too much reverb, it seems that you are playing in a very large room.
The rest to me sounds very good...

Best Regards

 

[Manslick]

I am glad you stuck to your guns and didn’t let anyone bully you.

Maybe that is the first rule in songwriting.

The song sounds good. All the instruments are clear, performance is solid.

The vocals sound like they’re cast against type. I was expecting more conviction and more abandon in a blues rocker.
For example, I would have screamed the line “Not everyone wants to be saved” – well maybe not screamed but at least raised the pitch to emphasize the point.
And I probably would have soloed the line “I want to be here” at the end of the chorus, it seems to kind of need a cliché move there.

That’s my only nit through out – the vox just lay flat.

Good job Mke.