My first attempt at Electronic Pop ...

K-dub

Well-known member
I was listening to Miike Snow the other day, because I'd no clue who they were and someone mentioned them. I said to myself, I wonder if I could do something similar to that ... and so I launched into this ...

I'm not certain it's done yet -- as I've brought it to this point and wonder where else I'm going to go with it -- or whether it is fine as is ... I do think I need a better opening introduction at the least ...

... and opinions on the matter are warmly appreciated.

Kev-
 
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queepy

aka Variaxman
I like the bubbly/gurgly synth.......drums sound a little dated/80ish, but if thats what your going for they sound appropriate...this sounds like it could have fit on Genesis's Invisible Touch album, which is not a bad thing for this genre imho.Vocals sound just a little muddy ....used to much clearer delivery on your stuff.
 

TripleM

Well-known member
Wow what a change. Some backwards stuff in the middle? Vocal sounds good. Liked the synth that starts at :34. Instrumentation sounds good mostly.

Didn't like the drum sounds. I think something a little more natural would sound better.

Caught a little crackle on the right side at 1:00. Two little pops at 1:33 and 1:34. Couple more later. relisten - there are some earlier too. I think it's one of the samples you're using. makes a little 'fwip' sound.
 

kcearl

I see deaf people
that was different...i just left it on and browsed the internet, forgot I was listening to an HR track


it has a lot of potential...Id agree about the drums, they are a bit thin and normal acoustic drums would prolly sound fine in the...the change ups are unusual, theres weird note changes that I like...and the actual lyrics are good


great stuff
 

K-dub

Well-known member
Thanks all ... this is new territory for me.

I'm a singer songwriter at heart w/ enough production chops to not know what the fuck I'm doing in an attempt to try to take "current sound" and bend it to myself.

It's an experiment in progress ... and I'm holding it at arms length while I try to figure out wtf I'm doing here.

Would a trance jam make sense at the end of this?
 

kcearl

I see deaf people
Thanks all ... this is new territory for me.

I'm a singer songwriter at heart w/ enough production chops to not know what the fuck I'm doing in an attempt to try to take "current sound" and bend it to myself.

It's an experiment in progress ... and I'm holding it at arms length while I try to figure out wtf I'm doing here.

Would a trance jam make sense at the end of this?

a lot of the current dubstep remixes have the song part, say verse, followed by a completely separate electro part...then just repeat until the end...the only common ground is the beat

for a good example look up Pumped up Kicks (foster the people) Butch Clancy remix
 

K-dub

Well-known member
Model noted in advance. I like the more acoustic and live versions than the studio/remix presentations.

I just want to be "faster than my bullet" ... and it is a great tune.

... and did you note that in the writing and production, I changed the accepted format (whatever that means that I noticed) at the end?

I went more quiet versus build.
 

ido1957

9K Gold Member
It's well recorded and mixed - every patch was even - which is usually not the case right out of the keyboard. The mixed up stuff was cool - very quirky but that's catchy too. The smooth jazz/intro mixture works for me... :D
 

K-dub

Well-known member
It's well recorded and mixed - every patch was even - which is usually not the case right out of the keyboard. The mixed up stuff was cool - very quirky but that's catchy too. The smooth jazz/intro mixture works for me... :D

I always remember Mick Jagger's comment to John Lennon about remaining "relevant" (Watching the wheels go round and round) ... and I questioned myself as person who'd gained certain knowledge, and whether as an artist, I could step outside myself doing stuff I wasn't comfortable with.

That is this. My other stuff, as you know, is very different -- and I'm still fucking learning, damn.
 

VomitHatSteve

Hat STYLE. Not contents.
It does sound a little dated, like a an 80s new wave band did it.

I think you'd get better results with someone with a "younger" sounding voice. You've kind of got that Neil Young "I've always sounded 80" thing going on (though not quite to his degree).

The guitars at 3:00 weren't great. They'd need to be louder (as they are a bit later) to really drive the song.

Overall, it's an interesting song, and it's cool to experiment with new stuff like this.
 

K-dub

Well-known member
It does sound a little dated, like a an 80s new wave band did it.

I think you'd get better results with someone with a "younger" sounding voice. You've kind of got that Neil Young "I've always sounded 80" thing going on (though not quite to his degree).

The guitars at 3:00 weren't great. They'd need to be louder (as they are a bit later) to really drive the song.

Overall, it's an interesting song, and it's cool to experiment with new stuff like this.

Unfortunately, Steve, like Popeye says, "I y'am what I y'am and that's all that I y'am." :)

Thanks for the thoughts nonetheless.

I started to pay attention to tightening up the mix ... and there may be more I'll add later -- I've a friend coming over this weekend, an excellent guitarist I've known since 8th grade ... so we'll see what happens if we choose to fool around with this ...

... but I do believe that the essentials of the piece are in place.

New mix is up at top.
 

Greg_L

Banned
What I like about you Kev is that you are unapologetic about who you are and the music you make. That's cool to me. You just do what you do. But to me, this is a swing and a miss. It sounds like a B-side from some obscure 80's band. That's not to say you did a bad job, and kudos for trying, it just doesn't work for me. Your usual style is much better. Maybe this would be a nice curveball for your fans tucked into side 2 of an album. I don't think it stands on it's own though. Sorry bud. Just my opinion.

The mix seems fine. Nothing sounded out of place. It just sounds very Casio-ish.
 

K-dub

Well-known member
What I like about you Kev is that you are unapologetic about who you are and the music you make. That's cool to me. You just do what you do. But to me, this is a swing and a miss. It sounds like a B-side from some obscure 80's band. That's not to say you did a bad job, and kudos for trying, it just doesn't work for me. Your usual style is much better. Maybe this would be a nice curveball for your fans tucked into side 2 of an album. I don't think it stands on it's own though. Sorry bud. Just my opinion.

The mix seems fine. Nothing sounded out of place. It just sounds very Casio-ish.

I agree it's definitely a B-side piece ... and I appreciate the honest assessment, bud. My wife was an early critic and basically said, "WTF are you doing?"

"I'm experimenting with different musical styles", I replied.

Eventually, she stopped laughing ... and has grown to like the song.

It was setting a personal challenge to think out of my box and see if I could create something totally different than what I normally do -- right down to how the song was built -- which was section by section, piece by piece.

I think I accomplished "different", but even I'm not sure how "successful" I was with that. :)
 

K-dub

Well-known member
Replaced the drums and did a bunch of other stuff ...

... still experimenting to see if I can dial things in better ...
 

ericaop

Banned
Lots of level issues here. (with you new version).
Turn down the synth stuff between 0:40-1:00 mark, when it comes back later in the song it feels more balanced for some reason, just not here.
Fix that tom, it sounds so out of place because its pretty out of tune or something.
Since there's not a lot of tom hits happening, you can replace it with a fake tom that sounds better
Piano is good, balanced with the bass and drums.
 

TripleM

Well-known member
Agree that the synth at :45 is quite a bit too loud.

The kick sound is a little anemic. Needs a bigger bottom. Too much attack to it as well.

I suppose I like this version better than the first. But I'm with the general consensus that this is a suit that doesn't fit you well.
 

K-dub

Well-known member
Chris (Mixmkr) had some time available and is taking a swing at doing the drums -- so we're still working on getting things right and perhaps two heads will be better than one? :)

I'll post up after he sends me his contribution -- he wants a more straightforward rhythm -- still electronic, but a different feel entirely.
 
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