More of the Stuff I Saw

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TripleM

Well-known member
A couple of weeks ago I posted this song. Let's just say it had problems. And at the end of round one, the score stood:

The Song - 1
TripleM - 0

Ok, I retracked over half of it, and did fixes on the other half. This version is not quite as sucky. But I'm still afraid the score is:

The Song - 2
TripleM - 0

How do you score it? Let me know what you like and don't like too.

http://www.nowhereradio.com/marshamarshamarsha/singles

The song is Stuff I saw on TV.

Thanks.
 
IMHO,
The vocals could still use some clarity.
The bass was perhaps, too loud.

Mix sounds ALOT tighter and defined than the last version.......I'd say it's getting better for sure:)

Theron.
 
Sounds a lot better than the first mix.The snare actually sounds like a snare now instead of a cap pistol:eek: ;)
 
A big improvement. There's a bass, and kick drum in there :p :) The one thing that jumps out are those weird, swirly snare hits... something around 2kHz...

Stereo separation (guitars) is much better. Would like some clarity in the vox during the verses. (They're good and clear during the choruses) Bass has some uneven volume -- are you compressing it? If so, you might need still more... but with a slightly slower attack and faster release. The overall mix still has an unfocused feel... and I wanna say it's something with the drums.

This is much closer to mix-nirvana :p Again, way-cool Scott Weiland like harmonies in the choruses :)

BTW did you pull back the bass at 120? That may be why it sounds uneven. You may want to give that back to the bass, if so :p Simply cutting a 3db slice with a fairly tight Q (width) out of the bass (at 80-90ish) will give plenty to the kick drum, and rolling off lows below 200 on all non-bass/non-kick drum stuff could help clarity.

If you've done that, then we'll look at what's going on with them drums :eek:


Chad
 
Well, I think TripleM is gaining ground here. The vocals are coming up and the drums are sounding better. Good!

Everthing else I have to say must be taken with a grain of salt because I was forced to listen in mono through the speaker in my G4 tonight, but here is what I perceived. The acoustic is the dominant sound in the track. The drums and bass are quieter. What I'd like to see is the bass, drums and acoustic mixed as a complete rhythm bed, with each having about equal value. The electric guitar was just right.

The vocals stilll have a far away sound. Its not that they don't have fidelity, its just that they sound like they are in a stairwell or something. If that ambience is an effect, I'd back it off considerably and move the vocal to the front of the mix. The ambience is kind of cool on the background vocals though. If that is what the tracks sound like dry, then you just gotta re-cut the lead vocal and get up closer to your mic--like about 6 inches away.

The lyrics, which I could hear most of for the first time, cracked me up! You have a definite sense of humor. I could almost imagine this being a song from an off broadway musical--sung by the food court manager as he sashays around lording over everyone. Too funny!
 
I finally got the Michael Stipe line...:D
Especially like "...the photons spinning from that cube..."
Wish you'd post the words!
It's rockin' very nicely. I wonder if rhythm would get tighter with quarters on the hat instead of 8ths...dunno. Quarters and a tambo.
But I focus on quarters too much, I must need money. :p
Still dig the song!
 
I still reeeallly like this song...If you had young keith Moon on the drums-it would absolutely kiiiillllllll. Bah the drums drag at the beginning-you hear it...admit it...you will hate it after 100 listens (The drums..at the beginning..that is..). I would suggest tyring to mask the sound of the drums with a room verb or something-they shoudnt be so loud in the mix-the good melody and good vocal track are enough to carry this song...Check the drum timing in the bridge part-the Michael Stipe part (who I used to live 6 doors down from BTW)-drums seem to drag again there. Maybe the drums should come down during the bridge?? Or go to half time??? Then pickup on the everybody wants to be like mike part?????I don't know-just some ideas-I like the song mucho.
 
Hey Triple M....
Nice song. Im listenting on shitty comp. speakers at work so im gonna limit my comments on mix. Through these speakers however, the r. guit. is way dominant, but that just might be me. The lead voc might be just a touch more defined too. It's mixed very heavily w/ the double and the harmonies. If it were out front it might be a little more perceivable. Nice song man, I wish i would have had a listen to the 1st version so that i could compare, but........ Great stuff Triple M, looking forward to hearing more.:)



g
 
theron. The clearness of the vocals was hard on this song. I think the reason is because the words come so rapid-fire, and since I wrote them it's easy for me to understand everything. But to someone else, it's not so easy. thank you for your time and comments.

Kramer - I re-did the snare just to please you. chuckle Actually, I didn't. I listened to the original several times over the last few weeks and you were right. Cap pistol.

participant. Thanks for participating :) I put the bass back at 120. I didn't cut a notch like you said. I'll go back and try. I compressed it a little, perhaps not enough as you said. I guess I'm going to have to borrow someone's STP discs - I don't know much from them. My old band covered "Plush", but I just learned the bass part and stood in the back.

crawdad. Insightful comments as always. I feel I'm getting better at this too. And in large part it's because of the people like you on the board. Those guitars (the double tracked ones) are actually electric. I messed around with the levels on them a lot. I had them lower, but at the last minute bumped them up. The vocals have a plate reverb on them. Maybe too much for you? I'll try backing it off a bit. Thanks for the writing compliments. Means a lot coming from you.

mkg - thanks again. I played around with quarters on the hat, but prefered 8ths. I probably goofed it up. I'll post the lyrics later.

Strat. I'm glad you liked the song. The drums are a MIDI track. If any drummer out there wants to lay down a part let me know. I'd be more than happy to work with you. 6 doors down from Stipe. That's pretty cool. I lived 6 doors down from a creepy old man who used to chase us out of his yard. And you get Stipe. Sucks.

Guernica. Thank you for the listen, thoughts, and compliments. I'm getting a theme... Maybe I should back off some lows and 'verb from the vocals. Thanks again.

Once again. Thanks everyone.
 
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Lyrics

Because they pass by so quickly, perhaps it would be easier to follow along if you had the words...

Stuff I Saw On TV
Hit the throttle, horizontal, and then stand by
See the flicker, love the clicker 'cause I'm a guy
Haven't seen a thing, but I've already seen enough
Jesus God does Barbra Streisand ever shut up?
They tell me I'm confused 'cause
I still don't know who Lenny Bruce was
I saw on film how Kennedy's head went splat
Did you see? Boy Aretha Franklin got fat

CHORUS
Just some of what I saw on TV yesterday
Them photons beaming from that cube
I'm sorry if I got it wrong in any way
In my sum of what was on the tube

A little innocent and way too over the top
Noone believes Brittney's cherry is still unpoped
And all the music on computers has too many bugs
And any band worth a damn does too many drugs
Did you know you can buy a great big house
With zero money down?
The good reverend says we're breaking every one of the rules
Tell me Jesse, is the child support check due?

CHORUS

BRIDGE
Since you're young the time is ripe
So let's give a listen to Michael Stipe
'Cause Mike has the very best rock star tripe
and anyway
Everybody want's to be like Mike

I saw a show 'bout a park that's south of the tracks
Gee I hope that they're going to bring Kenny back
And any file on me the FBI might have
Could end up at sixteen-hundred Penn Ave
But what I say don't matter to the herds
'Cause I'm just an angry white male from the 'burbs
Dont'cha know it... the weather man goofed again
Missed the call and he ruined all of my day's plans

CHORUS
 
TripleM--All my comments were about the food court song. For some reason, I just ASSUMED that was the one without reading the TITLE of this thread. I just realized my mistake and wanted to clarify. So if anything I said didn't make sense, thats why! Sorry!
 
Thanks for posting the words...I dig the hell out your writing, very cool lyrics, a pleasure to read. Nice work!

p.s. Sorry I misquoted from above, I see now that it's "photons beaming" instead of spinning. (maybe subconsciously I dig spinning) :D
 
I had an older version ... this one is an improvement.

guitar sound is better, as is snare, tighter overall too...
something still mudies it up though... not sure what it is (guessing guitars) ... just not very clear... sure is witty ... :D

is the mix too hot? does anybody else has it, it distorts my headphones... maybe thats what muddies it up for me.... :( hm... I'll listen home for better reference.

cheers
 
crawdad - not a problem. Others have trouble with the words, so your comments sort of made sense. Except that you thought they were funny. So give "TV" a listen some time. You now have the lyrics :). It's almost fun having a song where nobody can understand the words.

mkg - hey thanks. I enjoy the writing part of music. And I always appreciate your thoughts. You always have a good perspective on the material.

Fed - it's on the hot side. I had to create a couple mixdowns last night until I got a version that didn't clip. But I haven't listened to this version anywhere where it distorts (yet). I think the mix is a little heavy, but I cut lows as far as I'm comfortable. Maybe I'll make a backup and chop the hell out of some lows. I listened to the old version last night. Almost threw up.
 
i liked the old snare better! this one needs more snap! maybe somewhere in the middle?

its better knowing the words!!! when your cd is realeased it should have the words printed in the insert.

very clever words and i like the topic.

this time the music sounded like it would be a good theme song for a sitcom!

:)
 
i listened to the ben franklin tune. you use a lot of words! really funny rhymes. catchy too.

the bass playing is very nice! good runs and timing.

me likee!

:p
 
MarshaMarshaMarsha

I've missed you guys at artistlaunch!


Another classic 3M song. I have nothing additional to add about the mix, as you have several intelligent comments above, although I do agree that a little judicious cutting in the low to low-mid area of the rhthym section would add some clarity. I'd like to see a little more from the vocal performances; some of the lead vocal high notes are strained, and at times the harmonies are a little off-key.

Very close, though. I'd say a tie.

-Larry
 
Hey Bro....
Thanks for posting the lyrics. You just added a million bucks to the song for me. .......great words. I went back for another listen to "sing along" and now i cant get it out of my head.................. Cooooooool!:cool: :cool:



g
 
Cool song!

Sorry I missed the first version.
Real nice upbeat tune,the vocals are really good.
I dig the bass sound.

The only thing I heard was some timing issues with the drums.

Really rockin!

Best to you,
Pete
 
Listened home on my 240s, not distorting, bass seem to be tight with drums and singing but guitars seem late pretty much throughout. I might be loosing my mind though... hopefully somebody will confirm :)

it could be reverb or delay if you're using any that does it.. not sure. guitars are just not with the program. I wonder if you could nudge'em a little forward or something...? I listened few times to very begining and guitars sound good, nice riff and all but the second drums come in with bass gtrs are late (or forward ).

It could be perception thing because of how they are panned.... naaaa.
 
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