Here is another go - moved towards a 80s type approach.So here's my thoughts so far and a big thanks to everyone who has pitched in.
I thought you did a really good job with the vocals.
Car mix sounds good
On my headphones (semi-open), the "Fifths" track comes across as too loud.
Can you do anything more with the clarity of the "Subby Bass B" track? (The one with the upper octave)
You seem to be missing the "Synth-est" track. Was that intentional?