Yeah...what they said.
Some suggestions....
The repetition of the support parts ...and the length, without more invention...is the boredom in the tune. It sounds like you're totally focused on the likkedy-split of the guitar lines...and not paying the same attention to motion and interest in the support. Some more musical change in the support will lead to more invention in the guitar. Mono-modal guitar wonder gets old pretty quick....especially with a weak-sounding recording.
Listen to Malmsteen and Vai, etc...the undergirding composition is always moving somewhere....chord changes, alternative modal travels....modulations....interesting quartal harmony...texture: breakdown, buildup, passion, acute poignancy...tension and release...the stuff of composition. The lines they play are great...and the challenge they face is to follow the changes of the support composition....and keep a thread of melodic cohesiveness through the modulations and wierd progressions....along with playing with feeling. That's why they get the big bucks. You need a lot more of that.
A bunch o' hot licks, even with the best execution...without connection to other licks, melody....going to somewhere, from somewhere...playing over an interesting sub-composition....are good for about 15 seconds of listener interest.
You have some good chops. Now it's time to learn some modal stuff....use of harmonic minors and a few of their more important modes...and how they apply to changes....some quartal applications...and a little bit of technical harmony to get you kickin' up to the very high level of art in the genre.
And work on connecting those licks with some seat of the pants improv skills.
You should get some instruction!! Find a good jazz guitarist to guide you on improv, harmony, etc. Got a good start all around. Now it's time to gain some dangerous musical knowledge to take those skills to places you can't hear yet, while opening your ears to taste and feeling!
I do like the assertiveness of your two hands applied to what you know. Are you using .08 E strings or something?? Very epic sound....almost too much of a good thing.
