Lyrics writers, I need some ideas...

[brummygit]

another thought to consider...

when i started writing music (after my mom passed) i was determined to write a song about her. 4 years on, im still looking to write that song, and still determined. there have been lots of ideas floating around my head, on paper and put down, but i still dont have a song.
but i will keep going til i do, and its probably the only song i wouldnt want help with, because i think its all got to come from me. no matter how long it takes, i just feel that a song this personal must come from you.

seriously, i like what youve got.

 

[Rokket]

I'm glad to see you back here, Mark! Yeah, I wasn't looking so much for a colaberation as ideas on how to finish the song. I was going to leave it alone, but I got so much feedback on it after I posted wanting lyrics, I figured what the hell and went for it. My mother liked it, and that was my biggest worry. I told her that it was from her eyes, and I didn't want to upset her. It's coming along. I will work on it some more and see where it goes.
Thanks for the input and welcome back!
Eddie

 

[Rokket]

Also the line "out of site and out of mind" was exactly what my family was doing to my Grandmother. They stuck her in a retirement home and never visited her. She didn't have anyone come to see her until I took leave from the Navy and went to see her. I felt so pissed at everyone for doing that to her... But that's why that line is in there. When i started getting on their asses about it, I got the words for the next two lines "we have to live our lives! We will go see her, eventually, if we find the time." She passed away and some of them still only saw her at her wake. I could see the look in their eyes, and they were kicking themselves. Told you so didn't seem to quite cover it.

 

[brummygit]

Also the line "out of site and out of mind" was exactly what my family was doing to my Grandmother. They stuck her in a retirement home and never visited her. She didn't have anyone come to see her until I took leave from the Navy and went to see her. I felt so pissed at everyone for doing that to her... But that's why that line is in there. When i started getting on their asses about it, I got the words for the next two lines "we have to live our lives! We will go see her, eventually, if we find the time." She passed away and some of them still only saw her at her wake. I could see the look in their eyes, and they were kicking themselves. Told you so didn't seem to quite cover it.

fair comment, makes sense in that case.

you are on to something (ive listened to the recorded version), now i think its just a case of crossing the t's and dotting the i's, cleaning bits up and getting a nice mix together.

cheers

mark

 

[Rokket]

fair comment, makes sense in that case.

you are on to something (ive listened to the recorded version), now i think its just a case of crossing the t's and dotting the i's, cleaning bits up and getting a nice mix together.

cheers

mark

I thought about the "too long" and "repetative" aspects, and what I am going to do is rewrite the 8 line verses down to 4 lines, but keep the chorus as is. I am also going to shorten the interlude to one phrase instead of two. That should do it. I am also thinking of putting a solo over the interlude. But I don't know, because my soloing isn't that great. You want to try it?

 

[brummygit]

I thought about the "too long" and "repetative" aspects, and what I am going to do is rewrite the 8 line verses down to 4 lines, but keep the chorus as is. I am also going to shorten the interlude to one phrase instead of two. That should do it. I am also thinking of putting a solo over the interlude. But I don't know, because my soloing isn't that great. You want to try it?

yeah ill try it!! either you could arrange to get the tracks done seperately or just get me a basic mp3 (with lyrics, and an indication of where you want the lead lines) and ill record the solo, upload it seperate to the song and give you the link

 

[Rokket]

OK! I'll have the basic rhythm and melody worked. All I will put up other than the that is the lead vocal. The solo will come in after the second time I sing the chorus (it'll be 16 bars long and follow the main melody which is just D and G). Thanks, I'll repay you one way or the other!
Eddie
Look for a post in here by Friday at the latest.

 

[Rokket]

OK! I'll have the basic rhythm and melody worked. All I will put up other than the that is the lead vocal. The solo will come in after the second time I sing the chorus (it'll be 16 bars long and follow the main melody which is just D and G). Thanks, I'll repay you one way or the other!
Eddie
Look for a post in here by Friday at the latest.

Mark,
I took down both versions of Leona from the site, but I had to put something up there (the site said so!), so I replaced it with Daddy's Little Girl, which I know you wanted to hear. See how I am ?

 

[Rokket]

Mark, the basic version is on the site now. It's very rough, I didn't put any effects on it at all, and it's mixed very quickly, therefore very badly, but good enough for you to do what you have to do! The solo comes in after the second verse. When you upload the solo to your site, it should be dry, no reverb. I can't wait to see how this is going to turn out. I've never done anything like this before, over the internet. Thanks again for your help. The version I put up was just 8 tracks, bare bones with just the guide track drums, and a hurried vocal. I am going to redo the lead vocal, as I have a cold, damn the bad luck! The version I have going on my PC has 19 tracks so far...
Thank you again for your help! I will check my private messages to see when you get it done.
Eddie

 

[brummygit]

Mark, the basic version is on the site now. It's very rough, I didn't put any effects on it at all, and it's mixed very quickly, therefore very badly, but good enough for you to do what you have to do! The solo comes in after the second verse. When you upload the solo to your site, it should be dry, no reverb. I can't wait to see how this is going to turn out. I've never done anything like this before, over the internet. Thanks again for your help. The version I put up was just 8 tracks, bare bones with just the guide track drums, and a hurried vocal. I am going to redo the lead vocal, as I have a cold, damn the bad luck! The version I have going on my PC has 19 tracks so far...
Thank you again for your help! I will check my private messages to see when you get it done.
Eddie

well ill give it my best shot! may be a day or two tho, but ill get there...

 

[Rokket]

well ill give it my best shot! may be a day or two tho, but ill get there...

Take your time! I don't want to rush it and sacrifice quality. Thanks again for this. You have no idea what this means to me!
Eddie

 

[Dracon]

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/1/krystalcobramusic.htm

I wrote a song that was a straight instrumental as a way to deal with my grandmother's death in 1997.

Hey I listened to your music and it sounds good. I'm assuming (remember what happens whe you assume) that you want the dissonace between your voice and the music? I've notice that you are flat and do not stay on key, but I'm not sure if it was intended or not.

The lyrics were great, and the music was great. It has like a surfer style to it (Beach Boys), was that also your intention?

 

[Rokket]

Hey I listened to your music and it sounds good. I'm assuming (remember what happens whe you assume) that you want the dissonace between your voice and the music? I've notice that you are flat and do not stay on key, but I'm not sure if it was intended or not.

The lyrics were great, and the music was great. It has like a surfer style to it (Beach Boys), was that also your intention?

I was in a hurry to throw that up there, so the vocal is flat and I didn't worry about staying in key, since it's only a guide track for mark. Thanks for the input. I know the finished product will be much better. Yeah, the whole surfer/beachboy vibe was what I was going for.

*EDIT*
By the way, what date did you listen? I put another version of the song up a week or so ago (It's not finished vocally either), but it's a better rough version of the song with the other guitar parts thrown in. The version labelled "Mark's guide track" is gone. It was REALLY rough....