M
Monomaniac
New member
Hi,
as you can see in my profile, english is not my native language, but I keep writing songs in english, because it is easyer to sing than german (german's better for hip-hop). Very few people write really good songs in german.
I just wanted to know, what an american or english person says to my lyrics.
Here is one that's about a prisoner, what he dreams and feels.
It's very sad, but I like sad songs
Here we go:
Prison
You can see strange lightning
On a foreign place there‘s an open book
Titled „Memories run deep“
Look at the first page what you now see is yourself
How you took that stone and smashed it down
That’s when you wake up from your sleep
Well you find yourself in your prison cell again
You walk around, feels like a thousand times
In your small world you will stay
Your world it is just fifteen feet long and ten feet wide
You feel like six feet under
Buried `till the break of day
By yourself sitting down late at night
Never could believe never could know
That you would give up the fight
You start to scream `till they come and beat you down
And your blood, the blood of a killer
Drops slowly to the ground
Chorus:
You beg for this to end
You cry a thousand tears
Inprisoned by your own dumbness
Memories hit your brain
You get weaker
Falling – in a sinners grave
Living in a body
That’s no use at all
Night gets darker though it’s early morning
You feel cold so cold it’s much to cold
You can’t stop to fall
Chorus...
Thanks for reading and I wait for your critics. Don't be friendly, be honest
.
Greetings
Monomaniac
as you can see in my profile, english is not my native language, but I keep writing songs in english, because it is easyer to sing than german (german's better for hip-hop). Very few people write really good songs in german.
I just wanted to know, what an american or english person says to my lyrics.
Here is one that's about a prisoner, what he dreams and feels.
It's very sad, but I like sad songs

Here we go:
Prison
You can see strange lightning
On a foreign place there‘s an open book
Titled „Memories run deep“
Look at the first page what you now see is yourself
How you took that stone and smashed it down
That’s when you wake up from your sleep
Well you find yourself in your prison cell again
You walk around, feels like a thousand times
In your small world you will stay
Your world it is just fifteen feet long and ten feet wide
You feel like six feet under
Buried `till the break of day
By yourself sitting down late at night
Never could believe never could know
That you would give up the fight
You start to scream `till they come and beat you down
And your blood, the blood of a killer
Drops slowly to the ground
Chorus:
You beg for this to end
You cry a thousand tears
Inprisoned by your own dumbness
Memories hit your brain
You get weaker
Falling – in a sinners grave
Living in a body
That’s no use at all
Night gets darker though it’s early morning
You feel cold so cold it’s much to cold
You can’t stop to fall
Chorus...
Thanks for reading and I wait for your critics. Don't be friendly, be honest

Greetings
Monomaniac