looking for your critique!

S

stringtheory

New member
Hi all, i'm new here. i've been searching everywhere for a decent website to post my music on and i think i've finally found a good site! just looking for some honest criticism, don't hold back! any tips or insight would be very welcome! This is a bit of a rough take so i know there is a lot of mix tweaking to be done, but im interested to hear what you all think of the overall feel of the song. thx in advance. currently there is no bass part in this song. i don't have or play one, but i'm using sonar 7 and if anyone is interested in writing a bass part i would love to hear it. song below...v


http://www.garageband.com/mp3player?|pe1|S8LTM0LdsaSgY1W-Ym8
 
I would say the singing is good, just a little "mumble"-ish for my tastes, but definitely good and great for the song. (Either I got used to it, or you sang differently, but towards the end of the song I started to like the singing more.)

I was fooled into thinking the whole song would sound very lo-fi when I first heard the acoustic intro, haha. It's very nice when the vocals and other guitars come in though, and I like the song a lot.

It definitely could use a subtle bass part to fill it up a little bit.

I'm not really qualified to comment on the recording and mixing part in depth, because I really couldn't say what I'd improve, but the drums sound noticeably sampled, and the guitar sound could be fuller on the low end considering there's not a lot taking up space down there.

It really sounds great though.
 
ty! i think i finally have lyrics that i'm satisfied w/. i agree with you though the second half vocal-wise sounds better than the first half. i need to do a re-take. i keep listening to the second song you posted and i like it more every time i listen to it, great song! have you finished re-uploading the first one? thinking about it i should have posted this in your post :) hopefully you'll get it. i rly like your guitar work btw.
 
The playing seems in tune and in time.. that's good! Imaginative sounds and arrangement. Maybe it's the bitrate that it's playing at, but it doesn't seem to have much high end "zing" to it. Vocal is pretty laid back.

I liked it overall, not really a catchy pop song that I'll be singing all day, but sounded good!
 
Hi Stringtheory - I love this style of music, so it was very easy listening for me. As far as musicianship and style, I like the feel of the song, and the chord progression fit nicely with the melody. I'm not sure if you consider yourself a singer/songwriter and musician, etc. If you wrote the song - I like it. If you are also the singer, I do have some general feedback on the vocals. I think the singing is nice. It didn't jump out at me as something "special", but please don't take that as an insult. What I mean by that is I think you have a nice voice, but the way you sang didn't capture me or lead me to think you have an edge over many other singers out there. Although your pitch seemed generally good, there wasn't much in the way of dynamics to your voice - seemed one dimensional to me. If you're an experienced singer, you may very well be choosing to sing that way. If you're not and you're looking for ways to potentially improve on your singing, my suggestion would be to try and sing with more emotion and vary your vocal strength/volume accordingly throughout the song. This is strictly my own personal taste, and me being a singer as well, it's always one of the first things that grabs me in a song, and therefore is something I'm used to critiquing! Again, I do like the song and I personally would listen to it over and over because I love the style. I would just tweak the vocals a bit. I'm still a newbie at the mixing part, so I'll leave feedback on that to the pros. :) Thanks for posting your song and good luck to you!

Jen
 
Hi bro,

I liked the song. Interesting arrangement, with vocals that fit very well. I'm a melody freak though, so I think the mix could use some sort of melodic counterpoint to give the song an added dimension. A bass part might do this, or another guitar part perhaps.

Nice job though, and welcome. :)
 
lga5824 said:
Hi Stringtheory - I love this style of music, so it was very easy listening for me. As far as musicianship and style, I like the feel of the song, and the chord progression fit nicely with the melody. I'm not sure if you consider yourself a singer/songwriter and musician, etc. If you wrote the song - I like it. If you are also the singer, I do have some general feedback on the vocals. I think the singing is nice. It didn't jump out at me as something "special", but please don't take that as an insult. What I mean by that is I think you have a nice voice, but the way you sang didn't capture me or lead me to think you have an edge over many other singers out there. Although your pitch seemed generally good, there wasn't much in the way of dynamics to your voice - seemed one dimensional to me. If you're an experienced singer, you may very well be choosing to sing that way. If you're not and you're looking for ways to potentially improve on your singing, my suggestion would be to try and sing with more emotion and vary your vocal strength/volume accordingly throughout the song. This is strictly my own personal taste, and me being a singer as well, it's always one of the first things that grabs me in a song, and therefore is something I'm used to critiquing! Again, I do like the song and I personally would listen to it over and over because I love the style. I would just tweak the vocals a bit. I'm still a newbie at the mixing part, so I'll leave feedback on that to the pros. :) Thanks for posting your song and good luck to you!

Jen
Click to expand...

Thx for listening Jen, i appreciate your feedback! i am singing in the track and playing guitar. i've been playing guitar for quite awhile but would consider myself a very inexperienced singer/writer and i know there is a lot to work on there, so i will take your tips to heart. :)
 
bigmahon said:
Hi bro,

I liked the song. Interesting arrangement, with vocals that fit very well. I'm a melody freak though, so I think the mix could use some sort of melodic counterpoint to give the song an added dimension. A bass part might do this, or another guitar part perhaps.

Nice job though, and welcome. :)
Click to expand...

I will continue to experiment w/ the melody, i agree that it could use an added dimension. thx for your feedback :)
 
these sort of mixes are always hard to judge becuase it's difficult to tell if what was done was on pupose or wasn't. i could tell the lo fi thing was on pupose, but i think the tamborine and snare could fill out more "sonic space", but maybe the less is more idea applies here. it's difficult to tell. i agree with some of the vocal comments. i don't think it's a problem of not having the chops, but a performance thing. There are moments when the vocals sound good and other moments where it sounds mummbled or lost in the mix. you may be able to fix the problem with compression.
 
greyharmonix said:
these sort of mixes are always hard to judge becuase it's difficult to tell if what was done was on pupose or wasn't. i could tell the lo fi thing was on pupose, but i think the tamborine and snare could fill out more "sonic space", but maybe the less is more idea applies here. it's difficult to tell. i agree with some of the vocal comments. i don't think it's a problem of not having the chops, but a performance thing. There are moments when the vocals sound good and other moments where it sounds mummbled or lost in the mix. you may be able to fix the problem with compression.
Click to expand...

when it sounded good... those parts were on purpose :P. jk, thx for listening and the advice :)
 
good quality stuff, but yeah, the vocals are a bit mumbly, but they were recorded well. Don't really like how the drums just....stop, though. That's just a compositional critique though.
 
Seafroggys said:
good quality stuff, but yeah, the vocals are a bit mumbly, but they were recorded well. Don't really like how the drums just....stop, though. That's just a compositional critique though.
Click to expand...

thx for the critique Seafroggys. i think the vocal has a little too much low tone and it it would stand out w/ better mixing, maybe a higher less muddled tone. i'm not rly sure what to do w/ the drums at the end if you have any suggestions that would be great. maybe a tamborine to close it out or just keep the full drumset goin to the end? thx for listening :)
 
Dude, what guitar playing! Very cool. That's good playing. The FX .... also cool.

The song is very catchy. The melody is also well composed and not some bubblegum catchy.

The singing, could definitely use some letting go and just singing. It seemed contained or held back.

Other than that, very enjoyable song. Good composition on lyrics and music.
 
bigbubba said:
Dude, what guitar playing! Very cool. That's good playing. The FX .... also cool.

The song is very catchy. The melody is also well composed and not some bubblegum catchy.

The singing, could definitely use some letting go and just singing. It seemed contained or held back.

Other than that, very enjoyable song. Good composition on lyrics and music.
Click to expand...

ty bigbubba! rly happy to hear you liked the guitar work. currently working on re-recording the vocal. thx for listening :)
 
nice song, ST.
i'd have to agree with what's been said -- in regard to the guitar work especially...fine, fine stuff!
i will say, however, that the vocal needs some serious work. and not the mixing (although that would appear obvious; after the main ac gtr, which sounds terrific, the rest of the mix is sort of lacking any kind of cohesion), but rather the dynamics, as previously stated. a few lines were sort of blurred, and it probably just needs a re-take or two. but man, let go! it's great to sound melancholy...but mix that with indifference and it's deadly : )

that's what it sounds like to me, anyway. nice song, great guitar work, work on the vocal (performance), and do a proper mix (is it a sort of 'throw-the-faders-up' rough mix?). and keep up the good work : )

T
 
TweenerSongs said:
nice song, ST.
i'd have to agree with what's been said -- in regard to the guitar work especially...fine, fine stuff!
i will say, however, that the vocal needs some serious work. and not the mixing (although that would appear obvious; after the main ac gtr, which sounds terrific, the rest of the mix is sort of lacking any kind of cohesion), but rather the dynamics, as previously stated. a few lines were sort of blurred, and it probably just needs a re-take or two. but man, let go! it's great to sound melancholy...but mix that with indifference and it's deadly : )

that's what it sounds like to me, anyway. nice song, great guitar work, work on the vocal (performance), and do a proper mix (is it a sort of 'throw-the-faders-up' rough mix?). and keep up the good work : )

T
Click to expand...

thx for your take Tweener. i'm very new at mixing and i'm trying to learn to use Sonar properly at the same time. i appreciate your input. i have all night to myself to try and get a good vocal re-take going so i'll cross my fingers and let loose! :)
 
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