Couldn't agree with you more! Yes, theoretically response time should be faster for a small diaphragm condenser mic. Are large diaphragms "slower?" Theoretically, yes. But when it comes down to every individual mic, who really knows? So I agree with both your theory and the fact that every mic has its own characteristics. I wasn't saying that large diaphragms would do the job better hands down, I was just suggesting another approach to look at the situation. People seemed to be making a big deal about their low frequency response, which for almost every large diaphragm mic can be alleviated by simply using the low frequency roll off switch. I also agree with your views on off-axis response. That can make things a little tricky. But I'm still going to disagree with you when you say that "[large diaphragms are a] bit less detailed." I know you were talking in theory again, so I will delve into the theoretical world with you. I think a mics detail consists of 3 major (major, not the only three) things: Frequency response, response time, and the ability to pick up subtleties. We can toss frequency response out the window for this discussion and we'll assume their somewhat equal (if not we'll just use the ol EQ later). Now, as I agreed with you earlier, the small diaphragm should have a quicker response time. But that doesn't mean it picks up sublteties any better. If we look at the sensitivity of the mic, the mic w/ a greater sensitivity will better reproduce low dB noises. There's a lot of material out there about mic sensitivity, here's a quick link to one site that explains it reasonably well:
http://www.tape.com/Bartlett_Articles/db_or_not_db.html
If we want to keep talking theory and physics, that's fine. Sound waves are longitudinal waves, which means that the particles of the medium in which they travel vibrate parallel to the direction of wave motion. This is obvious of course because a mic diaphragm moves in the same manner. Lower frequencies have a much longer wavelength as you know and the particles vibrate in a wider motion. High frequencies require the particles to vibrate very little (they move back and forth an amazingly small amount, yet very quickly). So if we now look at low dB noises in high frequencies, the particles are not moving much at all. This is where mic sensitivity comes in. The higher the sensitivity (in voltage) of the microphone means that it will better replicate these small noises.
So there we have it, that's my theory--small condensers respond more quickly, but once both mics ARE responding, the large diaphragm captures more subtleties in the cymbals. Of course these qualities are both extremely important and I myself have a hard time choosing between them. Another thing to remember is the off-axis response of large diaphragms like you pointed out.
I guess we have different approaches, I'm not sure one of us is right and the other isn't. I don't think it works that way. I was just giving an alternative idea for the situation.