Just a new one

  • Thread starter Thread starter nzausrec
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Great space in the instrumentation. You've managed a very airy instrumentation . . . nice textures . . . great restraint.

The lead guitar is tastefully played . . . perhaps a bit too far left in the mix.

The more percussive Rhodes sound has a bit of grit in it . . . I think I'd prefer it a bit cleaner . . . but the grit actually sounds more like a VST artefact.

Vocals are ok. First verse is really good. Second verse is a bit wavery, and the first chorus sound like there was a bit of a hunt for which notes to sing.

However, the quality of voice is good, and the feeling is perfect for the song. I expect it was a very quick vocal take. I reckon this will scrub up really well.

Well done! Excellent song!!
 
Hi!

I will go out on a limb here and say that I think the vocal style does not fit the music. The music is spacey and dreamy and the vocal style is too 'rough' for this type of music. The melody line for the vocals and the lyrics are great, but the execution is rough. To take it even further, I'd even say that I can see female vocals working out better here. But otherwise, great composition and writing!
 
A cool spacey feel to the song with the combination of keys and verby vocals… Reminds me of some of the prog rock from the 70’s. Nice snappy guitar – strat? I like it!
 
Chater-La said:
Hi!

I will go out on a limb here and say that I think the vocal style does not fit the music. The music is spacey and dreamy and the vocal style is too 'rough' for this type of music. The melody line for the vocals and the lyrics are great, but the execution is rough. To take it even further, I'd even say that I can see female vocals working out better here. But otherwise, great composition and writing!
Click to expand...

You did go out on a limb . . . and I think it is a very slender bough that you are perched on.

I too would be interested to hear what a female vocal would sound like, but, other than tightening up the vocal line a bit, I think the voice is well-matched to the overall sound.
 
Limbs are okay!
The chorus was made of the first words I thought of, and I don't really like them. But they might have a hook? I was wanting to check that.
Verses are embarrasingly warbled in delivery. The 'execution is rough.'

About women singers, the very next song I post on here I'd like my wife will be a part of it. It will likely be mallow - she is I think a soulful voice.
Could anticipate that.

This tune was posted to see about the space, the air in it, as Gekko suggested a few months ago, so was checking that.
Also, to check the hip hoppy thing, the ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba intro thing to the next verse.

I think this should be left now to sink into obscurity.

I really appreciate everyone's advice. I definitely take it in. I'm really glad it is starting to work. One day things might just fit together. Still experimenting though as I think we all like to do.

So, will give instrumental space and air, also, not feel afraid of my own voice - really appreciate your comments that the voice is okay. Even when it warbles.
Really, really appreciate that, from the bottom of my heart.

All the best,
till next time, maybe even next week.

Right, where's me wife ...

Thanks guys.

EDIT: Gave the wife a rehearsal. Regret to say her voice tonight (or any night?) is deadpan. Maybe she needs some lovin'. Better split.

Oh yeah, it is a strat, Strat. It's an HSS 96 Lone Star. But DI unfortunately. Too close to neighbors in this, the World's sixth most densely populated city.
 
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That is a great song, with excellent execution. Don't know if you're familiar with him, but it sounds a LOT like Ian Thomas's "Pilot" era.

My only criticism is that I noticed some hiss during the quiet parts.

As GZ said, this will clean up nicely, and is definitely a song I would like on my iPod!
 
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