Island Bay (v2)

[Bulls Hit]

My deceased mum in law penned this poem to which I took a fancy. I posted this tune a few months ago using her poem as the lyrical content and got some good feedback. Robus made some suggestions and I redid the vocal and compd the two takes.

Interested in any feedback. The poem is copied below - I had to take some liberties to get it to fit into the arrangement

The curve in the road leads on to the bay
A postcard picture on a clear sunny day
With little waves bobbing the boats about
And a blue sky smiling on children’s shouts
Of joy as they brave the water’s enticing call
To enter her kingdom to be in her thrall
While old men lean on the wall
And gaze back to their strong heady youthful days
When they pushed out their boats and fished all night
Bringing home their catch a silvery sight

But when cold bitter winds blow in from the south
Chilling and killing the words in your mouth
Your heart a cold anchor weighs deep in your chest
And waves meters high foam white at the crest
When rocks jut out like the teeth of a beast
Preparing to ravage his kill at a feast

Don’t venture down to that wild wanton shore
Shut out the noise of the sad seagulls’ caw
Flying in fear from the furious storm
Wait wait in the hope of a calm sun kissed morn
- Claudia Borich

 

[GONZO-X]

well, i aint robus


ha
but i'll tell you what i think anyway...

i dig this bass line sound.... that's pretty frikin grungy

i like the flow of the lyric how you make it work.
interesting poem, it's pretty dark, music fits it just right

 

[VomitHatSteve]

Dang. That's some heavy bass!

The vocals feel a little loud, I think. Everything else is super-sludgy, but they're really clean and up front.

Drums could maybe come up a touch, and maybe some more high-end on the tom? That's just a tweak though.

Other than the vocals, I'd consider this to be in a very good place.

 

[ido1957]

Firstly - You are probably the most "evolving " musician I've heard on this forum. Every new post is new take on guitars/synths/whatever and it makes me feel like I'm not putting in enough effort into this playing/arranging/recording thing.

Secondly, your mom was a pretty great writer and your choice of music behind it fits perfectly.

 

[rayc]

Bulls,
Cool, vocals are a tad loud in sports - that makes the essing a bit annoying as it ice-picks my skull in headphones.
I love the bass or bottom end guitar section/solo.
Good mix mate, deal with the vox and you've a cold classic.

 

[TripleM]

Guitars sound pretty darn cool.

Bass is a little too heavy. Nice and powerful. But just a bit too much low end.

Vocal is nice and clear. It seems maybe a bit over-hyped in the presence range. And/or possibly in the 2500hz range.

Very well performed as always. Like the little synth parts.

Everything here is a nitpick. It was a terrific mix.

 

[Bulls Hit]

GONZO-X - Yeah the poem is dark. And if you knew Claudia, she was the sweetest little lady, but with a backbone of steel. Thanks for the listen

VomitHatSteve - That was my suspicion too about the vocal. Knocked 1.5db off it, seems to sit easier now. Thanks Steve

ido1957 - Thanks for the kind words ido. Yeah Claudia was a good poet although not really appreciated while she was alive. She had her own poetry group but didn't make a big deal about sharing her work

rayc - Check on the vocal level. Cheers Ray

TripleM - I'll check that upper range on the vocal. Some of them were recorded in a tiled bathroom which may have contributed to the presence. Thanks for the ears Trip