Is there anything wrong with these lyrics?

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misanthropy26

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(verse)
A cooling voice
from a water spiral
slipping down
to the grave under
puncturing the womb
born into a void
disconnect umbilical needs
depleted by a fist
under its control
spit out of the void
whip me into shape
stepping out of line
(bridge)
I'm hated; hunted
need to get away from this
hated
hunted
I NEED TO GET AWAY!
(chorus)
its not right
its not fair
pushed to the side
by a world that isn't there
(verse)
broken; beaten
running from the air that holds me
broken and beaten
fucked up by the air
stripped away
from the life that I loved
thrown into this suffocation
bound and gagged
with a world of complication
broken!
BROKEN!!
I AM!!!
(chorus)
its not right
its not fair
pushed to the side
by a world that isn't there
(outro-verse)
a cooling voice
from a water spiral
slipping down
to the grave under
 
the verse wasnt bad...i dont really like the chorus though....its too much about you and the world is fucked up man kind of nu metal bullshit....do u really feel that way or just think songs SHOULD have choruses like that for some reason...


stick with the imagery like in the verse that was reallycool


47 ronin
 
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