is the lead guitar too busy?

[sandwiches]

hi...

for those of you whom critiqued my last post, regarding my vocals on the first verse of "balloon man", thank you.

this is the same song, but i'm working on the guitar lead now for the second verse.

i've written something for it, but i think it may be a little ambitious. anyway, i need some fresh ears to listen to this track and tell me whether the lead guitar fits in with the song. i have a feeling it's clashing with the melody line and its too busy.

please note - although the focus is on the lead guitar, feel please to also give input about the drums, rhythm guitar, vocals as they are pretty dodgy too and i will have to work on them later.

thank you.

the track is at

http://www.nowhereradio.com/waiholiu/singles

and is entitled
the balloon man (second verse)

it's very small - only 0.6megs

 

[corg]

On first listen, I found it to be a bit busy, it kinda detracts from the vocals. It almost felt a bit like it was just doing its own thing. Closer to the end, it feels a bit better to me. Fits in more with the song, and flows. After listening a few times, I start to feel the lead a little more, but think there should be a few breaks in the first line it does. Right now, at some points, I really like it, and think it has a cool sound, but at others, its just going. Like it seems good right up until right before "On the edge of ..." and then it just starts running on. Sorry if my advice is a little scrabled, let me try to summerize it:

Lead detracts from vocals and song at times running on on its own, but at other times, provides a really cool effect to it. Maybe if it were just a tad more contained and didnt run on *quite* as much, it might be just there.

One mans opinion, sorry if it didnt make much sense. As for the rest of the song, umm, paid too much attention to the lead git to really notice anything, but the sound is cool

 

[sandwiches]

hey buddy

thanks for your response.

the main reason i posted this clip was because i was mostly concerned about the initial first reaction to the lead part. i feel it is too complicated: when you hear it the first time, it feels like im just hitting lots of random notes.

you've said after a few listens, there is sorta more structure to it but on the first listen, it was too busy. has anyone ever written parts and then come back a day later when they've forgotten about it, and listen and go "fuck, that doesn't make any sense".

i wish there was some way i could listen to a song like ive listened to it the first time with prior knowledge.

hey, one other concern was does the start of the lead come in too sudden? too many quick notes? maybe i could add an "intro note" to it?

and also, the "it's all understood" bit, do you think that clashes with the vocals?

thanks.

wouldn't mind other people's opinion to this too. thanks.

 

[Toki987]

nice tune that could be developed well. The lead could be phrased a bit more in that verse. Fill the gaps between vocal lines with shorter phrases that compliment the vocal, sorta like another singer singing back to the first, or repeating the melody line, taking turns.

 

[sandwiches]

hey thanks for your responses.

im thinking of adding another guitar specifically for counter melodies.

i think this one is more for just one of those underlying riffs that you don't really notice each note, but u can "feel" where it's going sorta thing...

i don't know... i'm finding it heaps hard to do cause i can't really tell if it's a mess to a first time listener or not.

can somebody else please review this and tell me what it feels like to them?

thanks,