Incomplete (demo)

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icystorm

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I originally posted this to the Songwriting & Composition forum, but the traffic there is very light these days so I'm posting the request here. Of the two mixes below, which one sounds the best? Thanks kindly!

The song will become a duet with my good friend, MelancholyGirl, but I am trying to work out the best backing track mix with the vox first. Any advice or recommendations are appreciated as always.

Cheers,
Joseph

Mix 1
https://www.box.com/s/ta1y1rbiywkdv7zp1g8a

Mix 2
https://www.box.com/s/emvplxjmnti5eoeg64je

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Incomplete

Words and music by Joseph Spain
Created with ChordPulse 2.2 and Acoustica Mixcraft 6.0
Produced by Joseph Spain
Demo recording
Copyright: Joseph Spain 2012

verse 1
I wore the ghost and lived the grief
Through dark of night, through dark of day
In all the world no gods or angels sang
There has to be wonders that I can't see

chorus
Across all time and tide
Deeper than lonely
True words can find their way into one's heart
Your love can save a soul that is incomplete
Night becomes a day
Brighter than Heaven
True words can find their way into one's heart
Your love can save a soul that is incomplete

verse 2
Through emptiness I lost the will
Through dark of night, through dark and fear
Of all the world the loss of love claimed me
There has to be wonders that I can't see
 
Holy Gibb influence! That's all you on vocals at this point? That is awesome that you can do that. I expected something different somehow reading the lyrics beforehand.

I'm not wild about the drum machine-like percussion I guess, but it kinda fits this arrangment. This could be really cool with a female voice in there too. I'm looking forward to hearing that.

I think I remember some tracks of yours from years past...I think I'm remembering that you always kind of have the Gibb sound going, don't you? That's pretty cool as you don't hear that too much.

You wanted a mix comparison though - I listened to mix 2 1st and am listened to mix 1 now. I think I prefer mix one as the vocals are more clearly presented as the focal point which I think they should be. Unfortnately, I'm on phones I haven't used in years right now, so take that with a massive grain of sodium.
 
I think I like 2 as it's a little darker & heavier which suits the lyric.
Tee programmed drums sound more ominous in that mix as well.
Good stuff Joseph.
 
Heatmiser, thanks kindly for listening and the feedback. Yeah, I have to agree with you about the drums/percussion. I would like to work on better drum programming skills.

Ray, thanks very much for listening and the feedback, my friend. After I mix in MelancolyGirl's vox, I'll post an update.

Cheers,
Joseph
 
I didn't notice a huge difference between the two mixes.

There is a little pop or something around :26 on both mixes.

The low end is very loud and very rumbly.

I thought the vocal effects worked well for this type of song. But I thought they were just a bit too heavily applied. I'd back off them must a bit. I had trouble hearing some of the words.
 
Joseph, firstly I have to say I really like the track and having listened to both versions by different means I'm torn between the two as the difference is not massive and on my pc headphones which don't have a vast bottom end V2 sat better tonally whereas through the monitors and a sub, V1 had a slight edge in respect of sonic detail. The bottom end is very chunky in both mixes, so I'd be inclined to get on a good quality regular home audio system or three, using the setting as the user has them and get a broader idea of how it sounds in the context of how it will eventually be played. Did you use any/much compression on the vocal track? I'm asking because you have a few sounds which I'm guessing are generated by the vocalists parting just prior to singing some of the words and subsequent management of breathing and the mechanics of doing so.

Might be worth getting the vocal track up on a pc after having noted any weak syllables or errant assonance or essing spikes and then using EQ in a very subtle way to craft some areas of the vocal. The EQ in some of the editing software I've used can be applied flat but one has the option to move the the entire spectrum up or down by small increments thus raising or lowering the DB level without altering the tone, or having to skip in and out of different treatments in the chosen editor. It's time consuming and does allow the option of applying subtle EQ to areas which have either unwanted characteristics or require additional strength to allow better projection of a word or part of a word. Obviously the increments have to sensibly dialed to prevent hard stepping, and a couple of applications starting from a small increase over a small area can be more focused in a second application to pull up a single syllable.

I really like this and could certainly lose myself for a day or two working with the vocal track, as the possibilities are huge for running multiple tracks with it and exploring the options for layering parts, for instance the almost question and answer phrasing, the answer type part of the phrasing I'd have that at least doubled and panned 30% either side of center, and so on. I'm getting all enthusiastic just thinking about doing it, so best I get my guitar out and have go myself.

Very addictive track, a pleasure to see it progress.

all the best

Tim
 
Hey Joseph. Pretty sure I listened to this in the SW forum at some point...I like the smooth adult contemporary vibe and the arrangement is really good. I'm not crazy about the rhythm track- not much variation and sounds a little Casio-ish but that's a personal preference. Also seems like you're gasping a little during the chorus- that's quite a string of words to try and get out with one breath!

I'm not great at mix-crit and also couldn't hear much difference between the mixes, but I thought a little more low end might give it a richer sound. I'm on a laptop with earbuds. Nice tune!
 
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Here is the latest mix (demo mix 3): https://www.box.com/s/vxdl96ecxzrycmm3xf3j

TripleM, thanks very much for listening and commenting. I took a very modest step to decrease the lower frequencies on the bass track. I tried to do it gradually, to avoid overdoing it. I can reduce it more if needed. I cleaned up that pop at 0:26 that you mentioned. I also decreased the mid and upper frequencies slightly on the vox to create more balance.

Tim, thanks very kindly for listening and the good ideas. I hear everything that you are saying about becoming lost in QC process. I spent minimal time on the song out of necessity (not an excuse, just the truth!), but I have some very good ideas now from you and others about what needs to be worked on. I sincerely appreciate your comments and advice, my friend. Perhaps I can solicit your help in the future as a production/mastering advisor, if you have some time to kill. I would love to get some more ideas from you.

fat_fleet, your comments are spot on. Thanks for listening and advising. You're right that more variation is needed in the backing track. I will work on that on a later version if i decide to develop the song more beyond this early demo stage.

Thanks for listening, all!

Cheers,
Joseph
 
the vocals at :40ish hurt my ears. Could be my headphones though.
 
V3 is really good though the sibilance seems to have become a little more pronounced.
You might consider singing beside the mic as an experiment re 'plosives and sibs.
"I will work on that on a later version if i decide to develop the song more beyond this early demo stage."
Make that WHEN mate. This track needs to be taken to a conclusion.
 
Hey Joseph, I listened to MiX2.... It has you signature great vocals on it! I'd bring the vocals up a bit in the mix and de-ess them some. The rest sounds okay for me...
 
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