I shouldn't post this yet..

[MadHatterTCM]

I'm like.. 3/4s of the way through tracking a song.
Why I'm posting it already, not sure.

It's missing: bass, some bg vocals, some more instrumentation (reason-like) on the beginning and I still haven't REDONE a lot of the pitchy vocal parts..

However, maybe I wanted a song critique first..

 

[eyema_believer]

OK man....
You've got quite a few great ideas here. Too many, I think, for one song. You've got enough ideas for maybe 2-3 songs here. I know, I like all of the parts too, but I don't feel like the song is taking me on a journey.... it's more like a random hike through a beautiful woods.... but I never get to the top of the mountain, and look out over the vista that I want to see..... it's like a meal with seven unrelated courses..... with desert first, and the main course at the end, with three kinds of soups in the middle.... and chocolate sauce on my green beans. I would figure out what you really want to say, and say it. Say it well.... like you mean it.... quit pussy-footin' around.....and if the idea is so weak that you need all that supporting fluff, start all over.

There.... you have what you asked for....

Peace!!

~Shawn