i need your opinion on this one

F

Ferry123

New member
Hello guys,

As a starting musicmaker I need your opinion on this track.

You can find it by clicking this: www.ongekendtalent.nl. In the search bar (zoeken) type: Ferry123. The next thing you do is clicking on "realm".

Thanks in advance,
Ferry
 
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I can't get to the song. I've tried hitting all the related links, posting a comment, all that good stuff. I wish I would of stuck with learning German.

EDIT : Nevermind. I'm blind.
It all seems really dry to me. Especially the drums.
 
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Well, looks like the site is working now. Found the MP3.

Not a bad instrumental, but kinda boring to me (without lyrics and vocals). Reminds me of early Depeche Mode stuff or the like. Are you planning on doing vocals to this stuff, or leave it instrumental?
 
leave it instrumental or not

Well no.

I always start with the music, later on there might be a singer in it, or some samples.

I agree it's a bit boring without a singer, but I think the song itself has a potential and it has a good length. Maybe it lacks a bridge and it could get a bit more exciting, maybe the drums can get better. But the basic idea is all right, I think.

But I'm open for suggestions...
 
If you want commercial succes, this is not the kind of material you can get away with.

It says your style is Dance, well, whatever this is, it's not dance ;)

Now for the constructive comments ;):
Your overall sound is outdated. I hear old cheesy synth sounds and far-away, fuzzy guitars. If you were going for the retro thing, you failed because there's stuff in there that's not retro. Like the drums. I've never ever heard acoustic drums on a dance record. I'm not saying it's not possible, but there is a reason for it.

Sofar for the sound. Now for the arrangement:
Very repetetive. No hook. Your synth-line is gonna stay in my head for about 2 more minutes, then it's gonna run and never come back.

If you want commercial succes, try analyzing the music you like that is on the radio today. If you don't want commercial succes, try to find out what you want to make.
 
thanx

Halion said:
If you want commercial succes, this is not the kind of material you can get away with.

It says your style is Dance, well, whatever this is, it's not dance ;)

Now for the constructive comments ;):
Your overall sound is outdated. I hear old cheesy synth sounds and far-away, fuzzy guitars. If you were going for the retro thing, you failed because there's stuff in there that's not retro. Like the drums. I've never ever heard acoustic drums on a dance record. I'm not saying it's not possible, but there is a reason for it.

Sofar for the sound. Now for the arrangement:
Very repetetive. No hook. Your synth-line is gonna stay in my head for about 2 more minutes, then it's gonna run and never come back.

If you want commercial succes, try analyzing the music you like that is on the radio today. If you don't want commercial succes, try to find out what you want to make.
Click to expand...

Halion,

I've had lots of comments on the track (not only via this forum). I think you're right saying I should try to find out WHAT to make.

Basically, I think the melody is okay (don't you?). The track consists of two parts, which fit together. Very repetetive all right, it lacks hook, I agree.

What makes you think it has acoustic drums? It has not. Those are ordinary AKAI samples (I chose the rock kits). I chose the rock kit, because it sounded much better than any other kit.

Well, I'm gonna work on it anyway. It can get much better.
 
"What makes you think it has acoustic drums? It has not. Those are ordinary AKAI samples (I chose the rock kits). I chose the rock kit, because it sounded much better than any other kit."

Just take the fact someone felt electronic drum samples were real acoustic drums as a complement ":) Then ignore everything else they say...cause well, if they dint pick up on that ":P

Fact guy has all these random perspective limits doesn't help much on top of that sampled drums are real drums misconception...blah blah cant be used on blah blah for some reason only in his head.

Not to flame anyone or anything, just don't want an artist to be offended by someone that cant tell up from down, then has some silly insights.

Just play around with the song a bit more, smooth out rough spots...find stuff that melds well and you should be fine.


"If you want commercial succes, try analyzing the music you like that is on the radio today."

Or better yet...get a real foundation so you have more then flash in the pan at best success.
 
Oh I'll belief that ;) I didn't actually mean drums recorded by you, just an acoustical drumset in general, be it sampled or not. I meant to say acoustical drums in contradiction to things like a 909 or other drum machine, which are popular in dance music.

The melody is ok, but you need to keep it interesting.

ender4trackmind: by all means, I didn't mean to put limits on anyone's creative thinking and writing. But the fact remains that if you want commercial succes, you need those limits, because the record companies simply will not give you a deal if you aprouch them with stuff that is alot more creative than what you hear on the radio today. By no means did I ever want to insinuate that you shouldn't try to be as creative as possible. I just think it's good to realize what the diffirence is between "succesfull" popular music and musically "good" music.

That beeing said, I think the most important thing to do is to find out what you want to make. If it's commercial music, then take all the tips I gave and use them to your full extend. However, if you want to make something that you belief in ethically, and estetically (sp?), then that's a whole different story, and you can toss all my comments out the door. I still think they make sence though.
 
Question @ 4trackmind

Hello Enderfourtrackmind,

"Just play around with the song a bit more, smooth out rough spots...find stuff that melds well and you should be fine", you wrote.

Thanks for your reply. Question: What do you mean by rough spots? On which point should i smooth them out?

Thanks in advance.
Ferry

Seen your website. Pretty dark, strange songs. I like 'm.
Same goes for your art work. You got style.
 
"ender4trackmind: by all means, I didn't mean to put limits on anyone's creative thinking and writing. But the fact remains that if you want commercial succes, you need those limits, because the record companies simply will not give you a deal if you aprouch them with stuff that is alot more creative than what you hear on the radio today. By no means did I ever want to insinuate that you shouldn't try to be as creative as possible. I just think it's good to realize what the diffirence is between "succesfull" popular music and musically "good" music."

That's all cool...just IM one of those die by the sword guys ":) Yet I think it would be better stated if you want instant commercial success you have to bow to limits...if you do your thing and are not completely self satisfied with TIME you can gain success and be in full control over it with a loyal fan base. The structure of the industry is misleading in that respect, you don't have to sale half a million records to have success ( most that half million is the company doing buy-backs of its own product anyway )...you can do numbers in the 10s of thousands and still pull an extremely viable real profit for all involved.

There are steps for long term success...and one of those isn't a production deal from nothing. Have a live element...expand naturally.....then when you can stand alone, let them throw offers at you. Cause if you can tell a A&R guy "well I don't know, I have full control over everything now and make money" you kinda pull his teeth.

Yet many of the artists I love are total unknowns today ( even in their own time )...so licking my mic on MTV isn't an ambition IM stressed about.

"Thanks for your reply. Question: What do you mean by rough spots? On which point should I smooth them out?"

Rough spots is on you...as you know better then I what your happy with, and what your not. Its just a general statement in a way...the reality of it, I felt you might be a bit apprehensive with some of the changes. That's about it...other then that were kinda birds of a feather. The only things I would add to what you did...some dead stops...some single note held dynamics...and something to make the changes reach critical mass and sorta explode into the next part that seems kinda destroyed in contrast with what happened with the last part.

"Seen your website. Pretty dark, strange songs. I like 'm.
Same goes for your art work. You got style."

Thanks for the kind words ":) You might want to check "TheThingsIDo" and "SpaceCoffin" on nowhere, as I think you would like them. ThingsIDo is just a raw mics in the room tracking ( single take to tape ), spacecoffin...its just spacecoffin. Heck you might like "WarmMySoul" even...as its pure respect to my background.

As for the artwork...that's a combo of my wife, and a half decade online pen pal. I have a few things ive done...just you really have to dig I mean REALLY have to dig my music to give a flip about my pen and paper talents ":) Im a cut and paste gut bucket print shop show poster guy.
 
Thanks for your advices, Ender4trackmind.

The song has gone through a lot of changes the last few days. In a positive way that is! The guitar (as always distorted) plays a bigger part. Guitar has taken over the bassline now, the rythm is less dull.

I heard all your songs. I really liked the one in which is being laughed.
 
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