i need some comments on this piece of poo

[kylosius]

http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=2635&alid=-1

let me know what you think. i know i can't sing, but this is actually the first song i wrote with more then just one guitar part. i'm not to happy with the mix though. it could've been better i think (plus there's no drummage so if anyone wants to drum, feel free). the songs called fuck you stacey (updated). i know i posted this in the songwriting one, but there's two different versions on the nowhereradio.

 

[slkeen]

Well, here goes... I think you need a few more chords in the song, when you get to the part that goes 'fuck you Stacey', let it rip. Throw in a different chord, use your voice like your actually talking or yelling at Stacey.

 

[Garry Sharp]

Yeah, I agree with slkeen. The chord progressions are a little cliched, and the strumming gets a bit repetitive - for my taste the guitar is too high in the mix and muds up too much of the frequency spectrum. There are some interesting ideas though.

Keep going

 

[kylosius]

which ideas are good or bad? is there any major changes that could make it better? also what would be a good chord to throw into the chorus? it consists of a simple C G C D. maybe a minor? i wrote this song in less than 20 minutes

 

[kylosius]

also which one did you listen to. the updated one i put the guitars down alot further than in then updated one.