i might be a redneck

[badgas]

Your at a REDNECK WEDDING when,,,

Rehearsal dinner held at Hooters

Instead of "friends of the bride or friends of the groom," ushers ask "Ford or Chevy?"

Bridesmaids -- pink tube tops;
bridegrooms -- Travis Tritt T-shirts

Phrase "I do" replaced by "I heard that"

Snack trays at reception:
Vienna sausages.
Nacho cheese Doritos.
Moon Pies.
RC Cola.

Plans for the honeymoon evening include tickets to the "Monster Truck Show"

Sign in front of the church: No shirt... No shoes... No problem

 

[CDT-sHaG]

badgas = jeff foxworthy rofl....

come on..fess up!!! lol...

 

[Gag]

if you eat spam with eggs

 

[badgas]

Hey Shag.
Acutually, I think, the last ones were from Letterman's top ten list.
This is Foxworthy. If yer a redneck, ya oughta be able to tell the difference.

If the fifth grade is referred to as "your senior year,"

In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?".

It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

 

[badgas]

Your mom calls you and says "Cum'n heer an' lookit this afore I flush it."

The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"

The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

When a sign that says "Say No To Crack!" reminds you to pull up your jeans.

You actually know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

 

[Tekker]

You search Hallmark for a "Happy Birthday Uncle Dad" card....

Your working TV sits a top of your non-working TV....

You think the nutcracker is something you did on the high dive....

You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws....

You take a load to the dump and bring back more than you took....

You buy your jewelry at the hardware store....

You have 5 cars that are immobile and a house that is....

You think the three primary colors are John Deere Green, Ford Blue, and Primer Gray....

You own a homemade fur coat....

You think paprika is a 3rd world country....

You have over 15 posts in this thread....

Good stuff, keep 'em coming badgas.

-tkr

 

[badgas]

This isn't really redneck, but it's music related.

Top Ten Most Annoying Crossovers in Music


10. Industrial Christian Rock

9. Gansta Country

8. Grunge Disco

7. Classical Thrash

6. Doo-wop Rap

5. Speed Gospel

4. Soft Metal

3. Polka Blues

2. Techno-Death Mamba

1. New Age Opera

 

[badgas]

You might be a high tech Redneck,,,

If your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com"

If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."

If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop."

If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.

-------------------
Y'all think I oughta move down to the lounge with this stuff? I feel awful guilty rackin' up post #s doin' this.

 

[Gag]

And the winner is Sonixx, "if all your giutar amps are peavey". Well thats my fave anyways I'm still laffin

 

[CDT-sHaG]

roflmao...haha...

if someone ask's for your "ID" and you show 'em yer beltbuckle...

omg..i cant keep up...lol...

 

[CDT-sHaG]

when yer sister lost her virginity..

she hollered:

"get off me dad..your crushing my cigarettes"...

omg..sick..lol

 

[badgas]

You actually made a pyramid of cans in the pale moonlight with Alan
Jackson.

You are still holding on to Confederate money because you think the South
will rise again.

You bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

You bring your dog to work with you.

You call your boss "Buddy", on a regular basis.

 

[badgas]

You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

You can spit without opening your mouth.

You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.

You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.

 

[badgas]

You consider a good tan to be the back of of your neck and the left arm
below the shirt sleeve...

You consider a six-pack and a bug-zapper high-quality entertainment.

You consider a three piece suit to be: a pair of overalls, a plaid flannel shirt
and thermal underwear.

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.

 

[CDT-sHaG]

badgas is the master lol.......cant hang!!! roflmao...

 

[Scooter B]

If you think that bass guitar at the store should be cheaper since "it aint got nairy a fret on it"

 

[badgas]

You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it while in prison.

You cut your toenails in front of company.

You dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

You father encourages you to quit school when Larry announces an opening in the lube rack.

 

[badgas]

You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You go to a tupperware party for a haircut.

You grow Vidalia onions, rather than considering them a gourmet item.

You have a "Hefty bag" for a passenger side window on your car.

You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your car hood.

 

[A Reel Person]

QUOTE: Gidge: You may be a redneck,

if the after show orgy with the groupies could double as a family reunion......

=================

-> The best quote yet, a gigantic, immortal quote. ROFLMAO. Give it up for Gidge.

 

[A Reel Person]

-gas comes out of nowhere with more great quotes!

QUOTE:

-You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it while in prison.

-You go christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

-You come home from the garbage dump with more than you went with.

-Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos."

-Your dad walks you to school because you are both in the same grade.

-You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OHMYGOD, STOP, YOU'RE KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!!!