I finally wrote a song for a girl.

  • Thread starter Thread starter demensia
  • Start date Start date
demensia

demensia

www.lukemacneil.com
Yeah.
I'm in love with this girly thats 900 miles away.
We've been doing the long distance relationship thing. Taking turns flying back and forth.. I'm in boston, and she's in Indianapolis.

Anyway, I'm trying to get her to move over here with me, and I wrote this song for her. She has a copy from when I first wrote it.. Just a quick live acoustic/vocal recording.. I'm trying to do it up right.

It's been some time since I've recorded, and I'm sure my ears are not so good. So would some of the powers that be help me out, and take a listen, and give me a few suggestions? I would really appreciate it.

Next visit is the week after next, so I hope I can get it done.

anyway. Heres the link.
 
I was in the same boat for a while and wrote a song for her, but i didnt have the balls to write lyrics as i thought it was too cheesy. Just my opinion though. Respect for singing on your tune for your girl. Arnt long distance relationships a bastard!
Good song by the way, the recording sounds fine. Have a listen to a song i wrote after i split. The quality is good untill taken to mp3 128kB, so try and see past the bad sound.

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/3/archamediesmusic.htm
 
I like your tune man.
I wish I could write songs like that.
Its all dylan like.
Guitar playing is pretty nasty too.
I like the breakdown at 2:28
 
Well...hmmm..the recording of it all sounds just fine to me. Mix is fine. Only thing I can recommend is that you back off of the vocal mic a bit...you did backoff when you screamed girl and such...but it sounded like you were to close for some of the tamer passages. Could be the mic you used as well. I thought the guitars were mixed well. I really liked the high guitar part. It went really well with the rest of your idea.The song itself is verry boring...that A to G shit is old man. Adding in a F M7 every now and then was not enough to break the monotony. However, given the subject matter of the song, I'm not sure songwriting skills are necessary. The pain of your long distance relationship is conveyed well with your words and vocal style. That's really why you wrote it in the first place. So, my opinion is "mission accomplished".
 
I amnt a great fan of Dylan, i feel alot of his songs are a bit boring. But i suppose thats a compliment to be compared to the Dylan. Cheers. Try and put lots of shorter parts into your songs, i find this keeps the listener interested. Variation is the key.
 
catchy tune.. I liked the vocals except for a few lines here and there that sounded flat or sharp.. a few pops/crackles like @ 3:01.. I would do a few more little tweaks before sending it off because it's so close... I liked it..
 
thanks, I thought it sucked.
Yep, A to G is boring as hell, I was conscienciously trying not to show off.
Firesol is absoultly right, I had the mic touching my lips and then compressed the fsck out of it.
 
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