I don't know exactly what goes to where, but I can help as far as soldering.
First, it REALLY helps if you have a quality soldering iron. I've used everything from Generic cheapie to Weller to Metcal. Cheapie was impossible to do a decent job with. Weller made the job possible. And the Metcal made the job easy.
You can start by tinning the wire. Use a vise or makeshift equivalent to hold the wire, and touch the solder to the bare wire and touch the iron to the wire. The solder should flow over the bare wire tinning the wire.
Next put the XLR connector in the vise. Tin the area where the wire is supposed to go by touching the solder and the iron to it. I don't know what your connectors look like, but usually they have a tab with a hole in it. Or just a tab. If it has a hole, I like to make sure it is filled in with solder. Then I take the tinned wire and touch it to the tinned connector. Touch them together, apply the iron, and the solder from both should flow together. If it has a hole, touch the iron to the connector until the solder starts to run, and then push the wire through the hole.
Pull away the iron and hold the connection still until the solder cools (5 seconds or something like that.) Give it a tug. If the wire stays attached to the connector, you've got it soldered. If it comes right off, try again.
Hopefully you've avoided big globs of solder everywhere and the joint is smooth. The neater the joint, the better.
Still having trouble. Repeat the process about a thousand times, and it'll get real easy.
