How do you cope with criticism?

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dintymoore said:
If Paul McCartney told me he thought I should try a major 7th chord on the bridge I'd take that a lot more seriously than some drunk who comes up during the middle of a disco song and tells the band they need to play something "with a beat".
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I'd take what Mr Paul said as seriously as I'd take the drunk !
Then I'd remind him of how George Martin laughed when that band he played in wanted to end "She loves you" with a 6th and he told them it was corny, that Glen Miller used to do it ~ but they did it anyway.
Then I'd remind him of how he was told "Hey Jude" was too long for radio airplay and needed to be cut and how he replied that if anyone should know how long his songs should be, it was him !
Then I'd finish off by offering him a lift and as he got out of the van my parting shot would be "DON'T TELL ME HOW TO READ 'WAR & PEACE', Macca !".
 
I look at criticism in two ways...

1) The person is telling me this, because they care and want to help me make my ______ better.
2) The person is a prick, and just wants to make themselves feel better by making me feel less better.

So when someone criticizes my singing or playing, I try to stop and think...is this person a prick or not? If so, I try to ignore the criticism. If they are not, I try to include their ideas in what I am doing. And even then, I may dump the feedback if it doesn't align with what I was going for.
 
kratos said:
Just wondering how you people do it and keep doing music.
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Well, it depends on what you mean by criticism.
Generally, I'll think about it for a while. Because even in hurt and anger, whatever has been said may be applicable. But if I'm hurt or angry it may take a cooling off period of unspecified length before I'm ready to even think about it. In the meantime, I will have plotted some reprehensibly terrible revenge...... :D
But the vice is also versa. Opinions are just that > filtered through someone else's biases and may just be them imposing their :mad: :mad: thaing.
Some people are very clear about what they want in their music and so criticisms are a little like urinating in the frost. Others often want criticism. Both positions are valid. I've come to the conclusion that whether or not you want criticism, you can't prevent others from having an opinion and if they get the chance, telling you it ! I wouldn't dismiss anything without thinking about it though. Mind you, 'thinking about it' may involve 28 seconds, then dismissal.
 
I really like criticism because I find out what works well and what doesn't. There is some criticism I don't really care for and this is when people start coming up with their own ideas that wouldn't work with what I intended in the song. My brother who is a bassist would probably tell me that my bass lines aren't exciting enough but I don't want the bass going all over the place and think the current bass is fitting with the song and doing something different could distract, so I'd ignore that advice. One friend of mine I know has a terrible EQ setup, so whenever he listens to something of mine he tells me there is so much bass that it's drowning everything out. But I can disregard his comment because I know that this isn't an issue with my mix, it's an issue with his EQ.
 
Chili said:
Ah, you edited your post because there was something else before... Negative comments and trolls.

About negative comments: I always say don't state the problem unless you offer up a solution. When I listen to songs in the MP3 Clinic and I hear something that doesn't sound right, or doesn't sound good, I won't mention it unless I can suggest a remedy. I don't think it's right to say your song sucks unless I can tell you why and how to make it better.

If people just want to give you shit, ignore them. If they're saying something negative to be helpful, then take their advice. The first thing you should to do in any art is learn how to take criticism or rejection.

About trolls. Ignore them. If they're on THIS site, report the post and make comments as to why they bother you. The mods will determine if it's a problem with attitude or perception.
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Well said Chili! I prefer to get criticism when a possible solution is offered afterwards. Otherwise, I just consider it plain bashing. In case of the latter, I just ignore it. Anyone asking for feedback/critique will get what they asked for so he/she needs to learn to weed out the bad from the good and develop a thick skin. There's no point going on the defensive because you'll end up with a never ending cycle of who's wrong and who's right.

Here's a rule of thumb:

If you are the "asker", then it's your job to JUST LISTEN (in this forum's case... READ). Then decide if their opinions will move you forward. If not, then filter it out.

Now, if someone asks you WHY you did something a certain way then it is your job to defend your creative choice. Wait for his counter and see if he makes sense.

Finally, try to be your own critic (it's difficult to do because you tend to be on your side, but it can be done). In the end, stick with what makes you happy. If you're not happy with your work you wouldn't be putting it out for everyone to hear in the first place.
 
I usually just piss n moan and cry like a little girl till the snot bubbles make their appearance. :)
 
Some of the best criticism I've recieved has come from people just trying to be pricks.

Example: Someone comes into the MP3 Clinic, and only has 7 posts...and they're all in his thread about his song. 2 of those posts are him "bumping" the thread or posting something like "Come on! Anyone????" I then post in their thread, reminding them that this is a community. He needs to stop complaining about the lack of responses and start giving feedback on other people's songs, too, if he expects the same in return.

So, this obviously pisses them off and they go right to my site and listen to me shit, which wasn't my intent when I posted. They then come back and post that they listened to my shit and rip into everything from my guitar sound to my vocals, etc....

My initial reaction is to blow if off since I know they're just trying to get under my skin since I pissed them off. The thing is, the 2 or 3 times this has happened, I ended up going back and listening to my own stuff and realized that they were right about a few of the specific things they criticized. So, it got me working on it and, in the end, I improved my sound and my ability to listen objectively to my own stuff. It's helped tremendously. That's one thing that's hard to get from "fellow-musician-internet-friends". Sometimes it takes a situation like that get someone's real opinion

Having said that, I'll usually go listen to someone's music before I take them too seriously. Within 20 seconds of listening, I'll know whether I'll ever give a shit about what they say about my music. Even though I know my music is not Greg's style, he has one of the best critical ears here and always nails things that most people wouldn't catch. There are others that I have nothing against on a personal level, but their opinion means shit to me because I've heard their music.



(Besides my 9/11 conspiracy rants in the Cave a couple of years back, this might be my longest post ever.):eek:
 
I think my new policy towards critisism is gonna be to punch 'em in the throat.

:mad:
 
RAMI said:
I know they're just trying to get under my skin since I pissed them off. :
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I get A LOT of that. :laughings: :laughings:

Your music is not "my style" to play, but I do like to listen to it. I've got some of your stuff on my MP3 player. :drunk:
 
RAMI said:
...I'll usually go listen to someone's music before I take them too seriously. Within 20 seconds of listening, I'll know whether I'll ever give a shit about what they say about my music. Even though I know my music is not Greg's style, he has one of the best critical ears here and always nails things that most people wouldn't catch. There are others that I have nothing against on a personal level, but their opinion means shit to me because I've heard their music.
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^^^This^^^

It's the "listening" version of "it depends on who the criticism is coming from." There are folks right here on this board who are very good at doling out analysis and criticism, but whose music sounds nothing like I'd want mine too. And I'm talking more about the quality of their mixes--I'll listen seriously to someone who's style is different if their production is respectable.

It sounds harsh, but if their work is shite, there's no constructive reason to follow their advice. Worse yet--folks who've never posted anything. I don't mean newbies--it's obvious when folks are just getting starting and want to jump in and contribute; that's cool. I'm talking about the "professors" who've been around for years but have nothing to hold out as proof of their pudding.

They might be great--but I don't know that. So I'm very selective and filter most of their comments heavily.

Bottom line--there's lots of folks around here who have done stuff that I can look up too, both stylistically and production wise. It just makes sense to pay attention to what they do and say.
 
When i get negative feedback, i tell Greg to shut up!

...But yeah. I think its a tough one with art. Imagine going up to picasso and being all up in his face with "yeah, thats good and all, but its not a very good picture of a face is it? its jumbled to fuck. start again".

From what I've seen so far, any piece of musical shit that receives enough exposure, will have people out there who like it.

So when someone outside my band says something like "i like your band, but why don't you have less of that shouting and more nice singing?" or "your singer should sing less high bits" or whatever, I accept their comment graciously and ignore the fuck out of it. My bands music is our art, we scrutinize every instrument and every bar and perform it to the best of our ability.

On the other hand, constructive crits on recordings are extremely helpful, and thats why a lot of people are on this forum. Thats the only problem with the MP3 forum i've had. People will often respond with "yeah recordings, ok, songs awful, change the song, remove the vocal here etc etc". Gets on my nerves a bit :)
 
Criticism may appear negative. But, through criticism we have the opportunity to learn and improve from their suggestions.
 
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