how about these?

[Axis]

how bout these lyrics?


Once:

I walked out last night,
never once turned my head
i went down-town
figured i was good as dead

a bag drifted by me in the breeze
it brought me to my knees
I felt anguish for
everything i had done before

(chorus)
I want to know,
can you pull me above the surface
I need your help,
to carry me off my island

the gentle mist in the morning
wets my face and my back
The cities still awaking
as I head for a snack

I've got no place left to go
so I make some time on the bench
Its years it has shown
as i will when im old and grey

(chorus)
I want to know,
can you pull me above the surface
I need your help,
to carry me off my island

Bridge (full of do do do doos)

(chorus)
I want to know,
can you pull me above the surface
I need your help,
to carry me off my island

(chorus)
I want to know,
can you pull me above the surface
I need your help,
to carry me off my island


alright thats it, I would put up an mp3 but I don't really know how.

 

[Porter]

Hi Axis,

I know whenever I've posted song for response the one thing that is mentioned most is the fact about the rhyme.

The first verse, 2nd and 4th line, 5th and 6th line.

The second verse 1st and 3rd line, 5th and 7th line.

Alternative suggestion for the line "Its years it has shown", maybe "The years it shows".

I like the song because it leaves it open... you don't know what the person in the song 'walked out' on... going cold turkey on drugs, giving up drinking... letting a relationship going when the person has done something wrong... it's the type of song that a large majority of the population could relate to something.

Good work,

Porter