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Very solid lows you got there airsculptor!
I like the progression of the song, you're very good in getting the listener's attention.
Although the sound effects in the second half of the song could feel a bit intimidating, the song sounds really good!
Did you made this for a movie/film or a project or something?

John
 
Definitely more a soundscape/spoken word piece than a straight song, but I think it works pretty well. Actually started to remind me of Can there towards the end.
 
Thanks for that JohnDude!

I saw a documentary that started with a soldier in afghanistan and followed him back to the uk after his tour of duty.
It basically showed the inabillity of this guy to adjust to civillian life. he lost his wife, familly and ended up in prison for violent offfence.

Apart from the vocal, it was all done 'within the box' as an experiment in what you can do without 'instruments'

Cheers:)
 
Thanks for the listen and reply cancers, much appreciated.

I tried to go for something a bit different this time, following Brian Eno's advice to try writing on new instrument to get creativity up and running.

regards

sculpt:)
 
Reconstructionist punk? THis reminds me of a Wire song (I think) with the 2 vocals working with & against each other.
I like this but desperately needed some scratchy guitar in there too.
The effects may be a little too much - I listened again - they'd probably work better with a little subtle reworking.
Have you considered a Dub mix of this? I think it'd be very interesting.
Interesting panning of the percussive elements - esp the hard panning of the low tom or whatever it is.
 
thanks for the reply rayc,

well listened, i spent a lot of time placing things in the stereo field, especially the percussion. Also I was continually tempted to pick up guitar and add various bits, but didnt. I put it on this forum to get the kind of feedback that you have given, and now i will put some guitar on and tweak the synths/samples/effects. There was a morse code sos message which i took out for instance, that i think should go back in.
The background does get overwhelming, but that was supposed to mirror the main characters struggle with reality.
and the fact he was overwhelmed by it.

btw the low tom was a djembe sample from proteus.

thanks again

sculpt:)
 
I like that Pink Floyd pad at 2 mins. Nice percussion.
Love the lyrics. Comes back and is basically a fighter so fighting everyone - 'hand to hand combat in a night club.' That's so funny. Only it's not funny though really is it.
Is that you in the avatar?

Makes you wonder how civilians really do have gaps in their (our) thinking - many times I wonder if I'm too soft, if society is too soft, but the alternative of it has only led to military dictatorships. Still ...

Another lyric I thought you could use instead of 'there's no stopping him' could be 'stopping's not possible' for that extra punch in the consonants.

Like that percussion.
 
Hi Nzausrec,

thanks for the listen, reply and suggestions, most of the percussion was from proteus world .

regards

sculpt:)
 
I returned for a rerun.
The percussive synth thing at the beginning reminds me of some of Mike Oldfield's Killing Fields soundtrack.
A bit of morse would be good - consider doing something a little more indirect than the SOS - I mean use the SOS but add something else to draw the congniscenti in like a morse run of "mayday" or something less common like "collateral damage" or "IED".
Nice work - please post any rework.
Isn't it a shame is cool - could do with a little work but has heaps of potential as does answering machines
 
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