Maybe we could just brick up your mouth to stop you spewing shit like this over and over again
yo, Mr. Subzero IQ, here is a 4 step program for cloaking your idiocy
Stupidity Stealth-Preventing Others From Thinking You're Stupid When You Clearly Are
Since you were physically unable to follow the 12 steps of destupification, then clearly you are an idiot among idiots. But don't
worry, as there are many ways to appear more clever than you really are. Scientists and renowned experts in the field of stupidity have found ways for people such as yourself to cloak your retardation in a gleaming mirage of intelligence. The following are the steps necessary for you to seem less stupid than you really are:
Don't make signs detailing your mentally retarded exploits by writing articles. Instead, make me a pie. I like pie
.Step 1. Don't say you're stupid
Having discovered your god-given sense of stupidity, your objective would be to prevent others from finding out your own
personal idiocy. Don't scream to the heavens, "I AM A STUPID!" by writing articles or make signs detailing your mentally retarded exploits. However, this will not alleviate your condition, nor make you look any more intelligent.
Step 2. Say you're smart
To look smart in front of your peers, you must first say that you are smart. Declare your intelligence in family gatherings, public
places, internet forums, and any site with a massive conglomeration of people. Saying that you are smart will convince people
of your intelligence, and prevent them from thinking that you are a tenth level idiot.
Step 3. Don't act dumb, act smart
Now that you have told people of your "intelligence", support your claims by acting accordingly. Resist the urge to urinate in
your trousers and use the restroom instead. Rather than reading Breathing For Dummies, read something intelligent such as
National Geographic or Discovery Magazine. While you're talking, tilt your head 45 degrees into the air with your eyes closed.
Act smug. Throw out as many smart-sounding six syllable words you can think of during a conversation. Spell check your documents and use the thesaurus as frequently as possible. Go to Starbucks, buy a coffee, and pretend to type something on your Mac (or better yet, work at Genius Bar) Doing this will further convince people that you do not have pig excrement for brains.
4.Step 4. Don't look dumb, look smart
To totally convince people that you lack mental stupidity, you must support your claims and acts of "intelligence" by your looks. Looking intelligent is easier than you might think. Like the Nazis and the KKK, intellectuals have developed a sort of fashion trend to help people identify themselves. Imitating this fashion trend would help people identify you as a smart person, when you clearly aren't. Instead of wearing only your undergarments, wear a lab coat. Decorate your pimple encrusted face with a pair of 6 inch glasses and equip your pockets with proper protection. Cover your frostbite ridden feet with a pair of shoes, and fill your pockets with pencils, calculators, and an assortment of scientific equipment. Once you are finished, those who see you will automatically think of you as a smart person, despite your subzero IQ.
Conclusion
Once you have completed these steps, people will no longer be able to detect your idiocy. Instead, all they will see is a
complete idiot who thinks that he can hide his stupidity with a bunch of cheap tricks.
My advice....TRY IT. Your are in stupidity denial. Your only hope is this program.
BTW, just out of curiosity, did your mother pinch your umbilical cord or did the best part of you run down her leg during that botched abortion? Not that it matters now. However this 4 step program may save the world from another of your declarations.
