Help me name this tune!

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leavings

leavings

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Hey everyone, this is the latest song I've been working on for the album. I wanted to get some feedback from you about the mix. Let me know what you think.

Song is listed as "Night on the Take" at
http://www.poemadept.com/help.htm

Also I don't have a title for this song. If you can think of a good one I'd like to hear it. For now I just listed it as the first line in the lyrics.

Thanks, Peter
 
well, it would be better if I had the lyrics in front of me. It's hard to catch the theme just listening to it. Nightime seems to be a recurring theme. It was hard to follow the words because they are so spread out and it seems that the song is just dragging its feet to the distant end (personal opinion). But, I should suggest something so howabout "Night reflections" or "Moving at the speed of night".

Peace
 
I couldn't get my browser to figure out your page. Sorry.

I'll vote on the song name, though...but my vote is influenced by the fact that I didn't get to actually hear it.

I like:

"Very Quiet Undownloadable Song...in G#"

But I'd probably go with something a little more conventional. :D
 
Here are the lyrics...anyone have feedback on the song musically or mixologically?

"Night on the take, the halogen bees buzz and make a little melody
Come into sight of all those shining city lights

I peak down the lanes behind me
Let the trusses roll on by me
Tune through the radio
Hum along with a song I used to know
Breathe a little easier
5 minutes and I'll be there
Leaning in, cup your chin and show you what I'm thinking of tonight

Rapid as the shadow of a cloud
Trying to hide my sense of urgency
Hoping with my hand around your flowers
That these cool spring hours
Draw you into me

You're on the stairs, watching stars come filing through the twilight air

Something on the air tonight
has conjured up this lullaby
two bottles of red wine
and a dream of you being mine
Past the turn to your door
We both need to drive just a little more
Til that sun brings the dawn
and sets that lovely fire in your eye..."
 
Peter,

I'm listening as I write this.

The guitar sounds very clear and sharp, perhaps too much overall high end for my taste but very clean none the less.

I am getting a real Zeppelin feel from this piece.:)

The vocal is as well very well captured and well sung. You don't sound like Plant and I guess that's a good thing, otherwise the Zeppelin thing would be too obvious.

I like the vibe of the song very much.

Very cool! :)

Cheers! :)
 
Great song, you are a extraordinary lyricist. The open tuning on the guitar got a little constraining, but the vocals really carry the song through to conclusion. Mixologically, I'm not much of a mixician(smiley) but a tad much 'verb, no need to obscure your vocal talent.

I like Night on the Take, but how about Across to You?
 
Thanks for the comments guys.

Ghost, I'll listen more carefully to the high end and see if I agree with you. I recorded it direct and my Garrison is a bit bright (even with the 'brightness' at 0), so you may be right. I hadn't thought of Zeppelin. I usually prefer their more bluesy rock like When the Levee Breaks...but you're right, they do have some tunes with this demeanor.

Digital, the song is actually played in standard tuning with a capo on the 2nd fret. I guess it does sound like open tuning now that I think about it. I'll listen again to the verb and see what I think. I wanted to give it a really big feel, but maybe it's overdone.

'Across to You' has potential. I don't want to use 'Night on the Take' because I have a song called 'Night in the Lair' for which the name fits very well. I don't like the aesthetic of having two such similar names on the same album. Everyone let me know if you have any other ideas.

Thanks again,
Peter
 
I forgot about the naming ideas!

I kind of like; Draw You into Me

It kind of encapsulated the intent and desire of the song and lyrics.

Cheers! :)
 
The Ghost of FM said:


I kind of like; Draw You into Me

Click to expand...

That was my first thought after reading the lyrics also. Another idea:

"On the air tonight"

Song is excellent, recording and writing-wise.

travis
 
Both of those names have potential. It always takes me some time to grow into a name, so I'll keep thinking on them. If anyone else has any ideas let me know.

Ghost I agree with you about the high end on the guitar. I turned it down a few dB. Not sure about the vocal reverb. Even though a friend of mine offered the same criticism, I like the ambient feel...

Peter
 
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