Have a listen - I mean a read :)

  • Thread starter Thread starter ido1957
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ido1957

ido1957

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Here's some lyrics I put together recently. This will probably be kind of a blues rock song a la SRV. Any feedback on the lyrics would be appreciated. I haven't devised a melody or recorded anything yet.

I Need Your Loving Baby

I find myself thinking 'bout you all, the time
Every time you're near me I go out of my mind
Can't live without you, I know it's true
Because I need your loving baby, yes I do

I got to tell you 'bout it let me plead my case
Your loving satisfies me in every way
Day and night I dreaming of you
Because I need your loving baby, yes I do

I'm on my knees for you and babe I can't go on
The way I feel for you is much too strong
This sweet addiction, breaks all the rules
Because I need your loving baby, yes I do

Bridge
Can’t take the heartache babe if I can’t make it with you
Never met a woman who can make me feel the way you do

Just like a voodoo child you got me under your spell
Do what you want because you do it so well
Go on and tease me baby be cruel
Because I need your loving baby, yes I do

You're always in my dreams when I sleep at night
Doing all the things that make me feel alright
When I'm awake, I'm still dreaming of you
Because I need your loving baby, yes I do
 
I personally can't give you any feedback for these lyrics. They're the type that I would have to hear in a song to really dig 'em. I'm over-critical about lyrics, maybe, but it's just my opinion that some lyrics can be fascinatingly different, confrontational, though-provoking, etc., while others such as these are just something you'd expect to hear with a sweet lil' tune. Know what I mean?

But hey, they rhyme. That's good! :D
 
As I was reading them, I imagined SRV singing them. I'm sure that's a good thing ;)
 
Grey Angel said:
I personally can't give you any feedback for these lyrics. They're the type that I would have to hear in a song to really dig 'em. I'm over-critical about lyrics, maybe, but it's just my opinion that some lyrics can be fascinatingly different, confrontational, though-provoking, etc., while others such as these are just something you'd expect to hear with a sweet lil' tune. Know what I mean?

But hey, they rhyme. That's good! :D
Click to expand...

I agree - these are not something like Neil Peart (Rush's drummer) would write :D He can really write interesting/imaginative lyrics. Wish I had that talent...I'm not sure what the tune will be like but it'll probably be a simple 4/4 rhythm - yeah a sweet lil' tune like you said ;) - to match the simplicity of the lyrics. Maybe work on a good lead break to jazz it up a bit.....
 
Grey Angel said:
As I was reading them, I imagined SRV singing them. I'm sure that's a good thing ;)
Click to expand...

That's a good sign ;) Now if I could only play like him LOL....
 
Well, you have a chance if you started playing when you were 11...er, was it 7?? Ah, he was so young. Died young, really.
 
Looks like no one else is interested in putting up their lyrics in my thread... :rolleyes:

Here's some other of my stuff:

my happiness comes only with a price, and it's ignorance.
so, I'll just daydream for a while, in prurience

they say we die before we hear the shot,
but don't you hear it?
it's already been fired
*chorus*
It's not a shot, it's a lethal injection
it's not a bang, it's begging for a buck
it's the backfire of your old chevy,
sending its poison straight to out hearts
 
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