Harsh criticism requested (attn: Jake-Owa :) )

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johndowis

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This is the first song I ever wrote, like 4-5 years ago. I just decided to record it since I have started getting more serious about recording. The song sucks, in my opinion, but it's not bad for the first song I wrote.

Something sounds wrong with this recording, and it sounds like something is missing. I'm looking for any feedback you guys can give me, regarding the music or the recording. Don't say anything about the drums unless it is involving the levels, since these canned drums are all I can use right now (apartment). If someone would like to try laying some drums on this track, I'd love to see what they could do (I'll provide a track without drums).

Fire away!

 
Seems really bassy.

Vox is stand alone.
It's not sitting very well. Its better live (with a band). I know its hard as hell. Just sitting there not much feeling (tracking through cans). I've tried too, to no avail.

But, I like the feel of the slow part. Depressing. :D Reminds me of the Deftones in a way.

L8er,
livilaNic

Listening with Harman Kardon's 2 sats and a sub.
 
Funny you say that, I was going through a big Deftones phase when I wrote this song.

I just lowered the bass, especially on the slower parts.

I'll probably redo the vox a few times. I am still getting used to singing, and I need a lot more practice. I have to decide, first of all, how "hard" I want the chorus to be. I think the way I sing it now is somewhere in between heavy and soft. What do you mean by vocals "stand alone"?

Thanks for the feedback!
 
Ok, first off I think the tempo starts too slow and the change is not normal at all. Imagine playing that way, it would be insanely impossible for the band to all change precisely together to another exact tempo. The guitars sound fakie and direct and way narrow to get a full rock image in the stereo feild. They don't take you, they tickle at you.

There's not enough interest as it stands to really salvage. A few changes could really help put things together.

PM on it's way
 
The guitars are indeed going through my PODxt, which normally sounds better than this. I need to tweak it some. I am still new to using my POD, and haven't really found the tones I want yet. This song uses power chords on the A string, and it does sound thin compared to the drop D power chords used in other songs I've done with the POD. Thanks for the feedback!

edit: Also, in an apartment I can't really mic cabs and record the way I would need to. I have heard POD recordings that sound amazing, I just haven't got there yet. Also, I am probably over EQing my guitars. I'll get it right eventually.
 
Ok, I brought up the levels overall. I should have had them higher to begin with, but I just forgot to raise them before exporting.

Also, on the guitars - I think the square flange effect is what's giving it the fake sound. Maybe I'll redo the guitar with some different settings, or lower the effect.
 
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