GIMLI'S LAMENT w LYRICS - draft

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rayc

rayc

retroreprobate
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5014534&q=hi
Terry has been playing about with the lyrics and has come up with a rewrite & melody. The tracks has draft vocals & recorder. there's a little too much effect in a couple of places as well as some distortion.
Apart from the above probs how does it hang?
With your assistance we'll then re do the vocals & recorder - though that'll probably become flute.
Lyrically there're spaces we'll fill with a female vocal singing the chorus but in the background - almost have the missus sorted for that task.
This version is more a lament for the end of the era of elves & caution re: the time of men than the original which was Gimli lamenting meeting & then parting from Galadriel in Lothlorien.
There's yet another version we have with Terry speaking as Gimli with lots of FX for a dwarfish vocal performance.

A trysting cup lies forever untouched
Near a thread of gold in crystal
Pure as a star in the early dawn
Pure as the love of troubadours’ songs.

Say goodbye, say goodbye
For now you must fly
You must fly from Lorien

East is burdened with future sorrows
West is where my true hurt lies
Where the bittersweet memory burns.

Say goodbye to 'Lorien
Say goodbye to 'Lorien

From our lady, you must fly
Don’t say where, nor say why

My axe will sing for you and yours
Cleaving a path from mountain to wood
For a golden thread in crystal
In the west, where my true hurt lies.

The world has turned from 'Lorien
No home for elves in a world of men
Goodbye, goodbye - from Imladris we fly
So say goodbye to 'Lorien – to Lorien
 
Beginning sounds like Pink Floyd-Hey You. :)

Good song, well done. Dig the cello :cool:

It sounds a lil "crowded". Too much stuff in one location. maybe pan it a little wider. Flute is cool. :cool:

Very original, you certainly have your own sound. I like this quite a bit. Its a little too reverberant, might be clearer if recorded in a drier room. Very cool. I am glad I heard it. :cool:
 
david,
Thanks for the listen & comments.
It's very verby. The backing isn't too wet - in fact pretty dry. The draft vocal & recorder are wet because Terry is self conscious about his perf & tries to drown it in verb - when we track a final one it'll start of dry at least.
The good 'cello parts are by my 'cello tutor - Miriam Webb. I play the 'cello drone parts mainly.
I'll have to dig around for Hey you to get the ref point. I only have Pipers, Meddle & DSOTMoon (gee I hope it's not on one of those or I'm shot through the foot).
The reference point in my collection would be Bo Hansson's Music Inspired by Lord of the Rings.
Again, ta.
 
The vocal rework is yielding great results - I'm liking this version lyrically and melody-wise. The performance is great too - lots of smooth vibratos. The vocals start out sounding very dry, then get verb-y after the recorder (which is quite verb-y).

I think the vocals could use some of the same verb that is on the instruments to make it blend a bit (again before the recorder part). Unless you are reworking the instruments, I think this may be a way to blend it a bit.
The instruments sound more verb-y on this track than the original - or is it my ears? Let me know...

Cello work is nice and unique, guitar arpeggios and strumming are very nice.

This would be a good piece for lyrical ballet...

:) :D :) :D
 
Very interesting piece. That saturated recorder/flute sound is great. From :10 to :30 the delay on the gtr sounds too processed to me for the song style, but that's just my own preference - the balance is good. I bet a very wide stereo verb with a super short decay (.5 sec) would give a single gtr a natural stereo feel there without sounding verby.
 
ido1957,
Thanks mate. Yep - the vocals get the ol' wet'n'dry treatment. This is an MP3 sent to me by Terry. He loaded the song into Audacity to experiment before commiting to tape. It suffers from translation to MP3 amongst other things.
He'll be recording dry to tape "even as we speak" I hope & then he'll post the tape to me to drag up into cakewalk & effect as required.
Miriam's 'cello arppeg. is a goodie. I just do the drone/slide behind it & then we do the tag together.
Timothy Lawler,
Thanks. Do you recco the stereo for jus one of the guitars, a couple or the lot? There's a classical playing the arps at the beginning joined by a strummed 6 then a picked six then a 12. I'll experiment when I get the vocals & recorder or flute (Terry's had trouble with his flute & is trying to borrow one).
DavidK,
Thanks for the bumpity. I found Hey You. I'd forgotten I had a copy of the Wall - haven't played it through in a sitting though so I'm unfamiliar with it. I can hear the similarity. Still, the Bo H thing is a real influence & not for the obvious thematic reason. There's a passage in his that has the same sort of slide sound & slow moving quality. The intro slide by the way is just my finger sliding about on the classical. I did use a shot glass coming out of the middle section for a little detune effect.
 
Pretty cool sounding....does have a sort of Floyd vibe to it. The main vocal does seem a bit dry compared to what's happening around it. Nice performance, but it might do with a bit of processing to fit the sounds that surround it. Maybe.... :confused:

Tune is fun though. Great vibe, and well done.
 
rayc said:
Do you recco the stereo for jus one of the guitars, a couple or the lot? There's a classical playing the arps at the beginning joined by a strummed 6 then a picked six then a 12.
Click to expand...
In the arpeggio part between roughly :10 - :30 it sounds like there's a delay, maybe 200 MS, between the L and R gtrs. So my suggestion would be to get the L and R arpeggiated gtr tracks aligned in the timing, then use a short stereo verb on whatever number of gtrs were playing the same arpeggio. Again though, it's just a matter of personaly preference - mine would be to avoid the "digital delay" type sound there. As always, YMMV.
 
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Dogman,
Thanks mate. As the vocal recorder tracks are emailed drafts I'll wait until I get the real deal (tape) & then apply some processing to bed it. I'll look to you for some suggestions when I post it.
Tiimothy,
I did a quick play around with your idea. it worked. I muted the 12 string & did a stereo spread with the 6 string & a .5 decay - it worked a treat for that little space. I'll have a serious attempt on the weekend & post that phrase for comment. Thanks.
 
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rayc said:
I did a quick play around with your idea. it worked. I muted the 12 string & did a stereo spread with the 6 string & a .5 decay - it worked a treat for that little space. I'll have a serious attempt on the weekend & post that phrase for comment. Thanks.
Click to expand...
Interested to hear it. And who knows, the original might end up being the better version of the phrase, but it's something to try out. Kudos for being so open minded.
 
nice song rayc. i dig the vocals on this. i can hear them in this song! :D sounds good man. i caught a floyd vibe in this tune too. mix wise it's a little heavy on the verb and the instrumentation gets cluttered in places.
 
Well done rayC,
How did I miss this one.
I'll give another listen to it tonight at home.
Thank you for the listen.
 
TravisinFlorida,
Thnaks mate. Any particular spot that needs thinning? I'm happy to take the razor to things at least long enough to try an idea. I'll work on the 'verb prob.
sikter,
Ta mate. Thanks for putting an ear to it!
 
rayc said:
TravisinFlorida,
Thnaks mate. Any particular spot that needs thinning? I'm happy to take the razor to things at least long enough to try an idea. I'll work on the 'verb prob.
sikter,
Ta mate. Thanks for putting an ear to it!
Click to expand...

To be truthful, I really suck at arranging and mixing so I wouldn't be the best guy to be making any specific suggestions on what or where to cut.
 
Very cool. The overall feel of this piece is very 'other-worldly'; as it should be. I'm not a great critic of lyrics and can't say much about them other than that I always appreciate LOTR stuff. The lyrics seem sufficiently Tolkienish (which, of course, is a beautiful thing). The acoustic guitars have lots of nice character to them. I LOVE the cello. I bet that's a fun instrument to record. I can't say that I love the singer's voice--he's not at all bad, really. It's probably that I've been a bit spoiled by working with Casey (Supercreep) for so many years!!! And being a reverb-nazi, I have to go along with some of the other comments that you've gotten here--back away from the 'verb!!!! I would say try starting dry and then bring in some verb--on the various instruments you want it on--a little bit until it sounds natural. To me, nothing should ever sound like 'a signal going through a reverb unit'--it should sound like 'what an instrument sounds like in a natural space'--if you follow me.

Good job and I hope you do more LOTR inspired stuff!!!
 
Thank you sir,
Just what I needed.
I'm waiting for a rerecorded dry vocal amongst other things & I'll remix while attemtping a deft touch.
 
I think you did a good job keeping the song intimate and detailed. I didn't hear any off-pitch notes either. RayC, are you using any compression on the vocal? You might want to experiment with some "vintage" type plugs on your voice to hear some different sounds you might like. I was surprised at how much I like a LA2A plugin, especially on more detailed work like this. It put some "breathiness" into the track that makes everything sound much bigger.
 
Wow Ray !!! Terry !! Miriam !!!

This is a cool song.

The lyrics are awesome....especially the line about "my axe will sing for you and yours"....love that !

As always, I must listen to your tunes over and over. There is so much to hear, in your creations, that if one, is listen to the song for critic...one must do so in parts, the same as a whole....sooooo, I will be back to type again in ...oh...an hour or so. :eek: :D
 
Supercreep,
Thanks. No I've not used much comp on vocals. The current vocal came via emailed MP3 so when I get a hold of a tape I'll try some. Is that from the Antress suite of freebies? I downloaded some from there last week but haven't really played with them.
I've spent more time trying to find a comp that suits the 'cellos - much more difficult to tame.
True,
Howa re you? Yes, a three way collab. Terry did a fine job developing the lyrics to tell a better story & Miriam's cello solo is fab. Thanks for the kind words. I look forward to some serious crits.
 
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