Fondest Wish (early demo of new song) -- comments welcomed

  • Thread starter Thread starter icystorm
  • Start date Start date
well the drums sound alright to me. not great, but alright. and they need fills and stuff. of course where the fills will go will depend a lot on how and where the vocals fit in. do you have lyrics for it yet?

other than that the tune is catchy and uplifting :)
 
This is extremely repetitive. I don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds like an automated appregiator (not sure if that's a word, lol). You know, like that mode on the Casio synthesizers that plays a background melody while you hold down one key? Basically, it sounds like a small handful of one measure samples that have been copied and pasted together. Plus, there's a bit of a "bump" on the first beat of every measure, which makes the editing sound very obvious.

I'm not very qualified to critique the mix, but it sounds decent on the stereo speakers I'm currently listening on.

I'd work on getting a more spontaneous sound by stretching the piano melodies/patterns out over more than one measure. Instead of playing the same melody over each chord change, make the melody flow over multiple chord changes.

Also, I'd play the parts all the way through, rather than cutting and pasting. Even if they're not "technically" perfect, they'll sound much more natural.
 
Thanks for listening, Nicole. Yes, there are lyrics (below). When I finish making the next backing track demo with some planned improvements, I'll add the vocals.

A little unsolicited song background: This song has an unexpected origination. My Aunt unwittingly placed the idea in my mind years ago -- although I certainly wasn't thinking about writing a song about this back then. In the middle 80s, I lost my high school sweetheart and I was very depressed and introverted for well over a decade afterwards. No one in my family understood why I wasn't settling down to have a family of my own. Instead, I was still looking to the past. I confided all of this to my Aunt after she imposed and asked me why I wasn't dating anyone over 12 years after my breakup. My Aunt is the religious sort (although I'm agnostic) and she likes to help. She told me that she understood my ordeal, but that I should keep my faith because the Bible reveals that God knows each person's heart, including their fondest wish, and that He will ultimately grant each person their heart's fondest wish. Well, all that came out of that conversation is this song... many years later :cool:

Outcome in a nutshell: My HS sweetheart is miserable and in a bad relationship, but I finally fell in love again and married another woman 17 years later... but I think I'll always have one eye to the past. Maybe that was more personal drama than anyone wanted to know... c'est la vie. :)

Best...
Joseph (icystorm)

---

Fondest Wish

words and music by Joseph Spain

verse 1

Every day, every night
In every way I still want you
Through the years, through my life
Through my tears I still need you
Through your storms, your dark days
You will see I still love you

chorus

They don't know why but I'm not searchin'
'cause I've found my Heaven
You're in my past, love
Until I've taken my final breath
I will live to hold you, I'll find you somehow

No they don't see how my heart could love you
After everything that you put me through, love
But I believe that your heart remembers
Beyond your tears are my open arms
where my fondest wish is you

verse 2

Every place, everywhere
Forever, love, I'll be for you
Every smile, every tear
Alone inside I'll wait for you
Every choice in my heart
For all time I'll die for you

chorus

They don't know why but I'm not searchin'
'cause I've found my Heaven
You're in my past, love
Until I've taken my final breath
I will live to hold you, I'll find you somehow

No they don't see how my heart could love you
After everything that you put me through, love
But I believe that your heart remembers
Beyond your tears are my open arms
where my fondest wish is you

chorus

They don't know why but I'm not searchin'
'cause I've found my Heaven
You're in my past, love
Until I've taken my final breath
I will live to hold you, I'll find you somehow

No they don't see how my heart could love you
After everything that you put me through, love
But I believe that your heart remembers
Beyond your tears are my open arms
where my fondest wish is you

release
 
Last edited:
Good points, guy. I am working on some of those issues now for the next demo. Thanks much for taking the time to listen and comment.

Joseph (icystorm)
 
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