For a first time recording job, you've done well. You've taken the first step in a rather long journey, and this is the hardest step of them all.
1) Get a pop filter for your mic ... noticed a few pops (P's, B's, etc) in your vocal track.
2) Try to find some replacement for your drum loop. It keeps time (obviously), but there are no changes, no cymbals, etc. See my signature line for one idea. Another option might be using a variety of drum loops, or a drum machine with some better canned beats.
3) Lot of deep breaths and huffs on the vocal track. If you are wearing yourself out playing and singing at the same time, or just singing the song in one go, use punch-in recording or overdubbing to lay in fresh parts. Take it in steps - heavy breathing and getting into the 'groove' is cool live, but not so much on a studio recording.
4) I believe I can hear some noise in the background in certain spots - noise gates are your friend! Could be noise on my end - I am using headphones at the moment.
5) On the part where you flood the vocal track with reverb, the vocal track seems to get lost in the flange on your guitar track. Might be addressed by removing on or the other, or maybe spreading it out via pans.
6) You have some clipping on the vocal track - this can be corrected in the recording process by technique (knowing when to move closer or further to/from the mic, or some slight compression).
7) A bass track, or even a warm pad synth sound would go a long way toward filling in the dead spots ...
Cheers.
