First Post...........Please Help !

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Kwality
http://www.nowhereradio.com/artists/album.php?aid=1863&alid=-1

My first crack at this newfangled digital thang

I come from the old headbanging school so this is the most mellow song I have ever written!
I have been playing for about 8 months after having 12 years off. I am hoping my chops come back soon but for now I have to live with what I can do.

This song was written for a friends family after he drove his Harley into a swamp (idiot!)

Any help in making it better would be appreciated!

And yes........the acoustic guitars stink! I used a patch in my BR-8

It has been a chore getting my wife to OK all the toys I bought recently so I hope to get a nice one and do it right soon!

Recorded on a BR-8 and mixed in Acid Pro 4.0
Drums are a Zoom RT-123 (I love that little thing!)

Thanks for your time!


:D :D :D
 
jcmm, very cool song. I like all the change's too. My only comment is the guitar sound's to me like it's EQd too high. Also maybe the bass guitar could come down a little. But I'm only a listener at the moment so it will be interesting to see what the other's say.
 
listening right now....vocals sound great nice level...the guitar is a bit tinny......really good vocals man....!.....ok now the whole sound came in,,...sounds better...harmonies good...too....some lyrics..sorta thrown in there it seems ...but over all nice feel ...it needs a lead guitar over that break right before the "..woooaahhhhhh..."..part maybe?...hey first try??...sweet...my first was hell an gone from this ..it was total crap...as a matter of fact my latest probably doesnt sit as nice as this so now im upset....lmao...


cool ..next one will be sure to even be better,,,great job

jamal
 
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jcmm said:


It has been a chore getting my wife to OK all the toys I bought recently so I hope to get a nice one and do it right soon!
Click to expand...
There should be a forum dedicated to this topic alone!;)

Redo the "acoustic" guitar or just go with a simple clean electric sound and you'll be cooking.
Good song.
 
nice song and vocal delivery.. a few very minor pitch isuues, but nothing major.. I like the vocal sound for the most part.. maybe it's mostly in your delivery.. I like that part around 2:20..

I thought I heard a few bass clams.. the acoustic doesn't sound as full as it should.. maybe e.q.'d too much or something.. nice back up vocals..

A friend of mine has the BR-8 so I will be playing this for him when he stops by.. He blames the recorder for his recording flubs.. Now I have proof that it's not the recorder! :D


If you can, do something with e.q. maybe for that acoustic, and check the bass out.. The overall sound is a bit crisp too..


good tune, nice vocals..
 
Thanks to you all!
I really appreciate the input

Joe Recorder - The "acoustic" is actually my electric through a patch in the BR-8. The fact is it really doesn't cut it and in fact drags the tune down. I am going to redo it with something else.
Thanks for the listen!

Jamal - You crack me up! I thought alot about putting something in the part but haven't com up with the right mood. Maybe some melodic strummin/pickin' will do the trick. It does sound empty.
Thanks for the input.

acidrock - The acoustic is outta there!!!!
How bout the Pack!!
I was sweating.........those are usually the kind of games we lose so I was happy to get the W.
I think Da Bears go to Atlanta this week so that should be interesting. Tough stretch for us the next few weeks......nothing comes easy anymore!
Thanks for the listen!

B.Sabbath - Bass clams?????? Thats friggin impossible!!! :D :D
Is the entire Bass track too loud, or do I need to take some of the bottom out? If you get a chance LMK
I wish that was me singing but my voice checked out around the time of Neon Nights! Even when I could sing I had a nack for writing outside my range
:p
Thats a guy I work with. He has a choir boy voice but I am working with it as best I can. We are currently doing 3 other songs at once. All of them are more aggressive. I may have overdone some effects in parts which have added to the pitch issues. The guy sings like a canary so it must be me!!
I will revisit these issues and give it another shot asap.
Thanks for the listen. I enjoy your stuff!

Cheers
Joel
 
jcmm said:
Thanks to you all!
I really appreciate the input

Jamal - You crack me up! I thought alot about putting something in the part but haven't com up with the right mood. Maybe some melodic strummin/pickin' will do the trick. It does sound empty.
Thanks for the input.


Cheers
Joel
Click to expand...

ok so hurry up??/.what are you doin answering ?...ther are guitar parts that need tended too...i need to hear this with a killer guitar line in the middle.....:D

jamal
 
Hey Man,
Nice song, w/ a very nice lead voc. Yeah, I dont care for the guitar sounds a whole bunch..... I like the parts, just not the sounds so much. Im not sure if the thin strummed guit sound is intentional or not. ......if it is for effect, it might be pretty cool just at the beginning and end. If it isnt intentional, you might wanna do some experimenting w/ that one. It kinda sounds like a piezo pickup on crack:D The bass is a touch mushy and untight. I like the song alot. Very nice songwriting. All of the vocals were very nice. Cool stuff jcmm, cant wait to hear more :)




g
 
good song... yea that guitar got to go .... slightly overdriven elc gtr would be cool in it's place too IMHO
cheers
 
i agree that the guitar tone needs serious re-consideration...........the tune sounds nice though..........the vocals around the 2:00 mark could stand a touch more volume.......good work
 
Nice song. I like your singing voice, but it sounds too heavily compressed.

Some harmony pitch issues starting at 3:03. That section at 1:46-2:03 gets a little slow - I think it needs something else going on there.
 
Good song...I hear some minor timing issues on the vocals in the very beginning-nothing major-just hesitations in his rythm...the acoustics sound kinda squashed.....I like when the electrics come in...the song builds nicely-adding parts as it goes...sounds like the elec guitar could come up or be a little brighter-nice song..very easy listen...3rd time around---did you hear the "P" when he says peace in the beginning? sounds like you could ride the vocs a little louder when the guitar comes in-how bout a little solo melody over the 1:50 section-bet that would work good..
 
Nice voice, I loved the singing. And a good piece of writing too. I would have liked to hear that guitar be more full, it sounded a little weak and tinny. The overall consistency of all the sounds could be a bit better IMHO. Great work though, I really like it :D
 
Thanks to all who took the time to respond!

jamal - Nice Avatar ! I put a lick or 2 in the "Dead zone"

Guernica - I have tried some EQ with the beginning "acoustic" for the intro part, then I recorded some clean electrics through the rest of the song. That was a good Idea!
I am going to scrap the bass and try something new tomorrow.
Thanks for your input.

Fed - Thanks for listening, I think I have the void filled.

powderfinger - I appreciate your input! Version 2.0 will hopefully be better!

TripleM - I think I know what you mean with the voice. In my quest to get it out front I may have overshot a bit.
Thanks for listening!

Stratomaster - I can't say enough about your material. I am trying to address the things you mentioned and I am thrilled you took the time to respond! Thanks

Barometer - If you get a chance give the next version a play!
Thanks for taking the time to listen and respond!


I have everything but the bass redone. I also did a little cut and paste and was able to cover the pitch issue on the chorus at the end. My trouble now is with ambience. Since I changed so many things I am struggling to find the proper space for everything to keep it from runnng together. There is alot of great info on the BBS about this so I am giving these tired ears a rest till tomorrow.

I have several tunes already recorded just w/o vocals. I have benefited greatly from the "polish a turd" threads, and am taking the time to get as pure a sound up front as possible. I wrote, and recorded one a couple weekends ago and musically it sounds great without any processing at all. I hope to have this one done in a week or 2 and I really like the tune alot!

Again I wish to thank all who gave this post a listen, as well as the friendly responses you all shared. If it wasn't for this forum, I would not be getting anything near this done.
Will post new version tomorrow (I hope!):confused:

Joel
 
Hot Dang!!!!!!!

:D :D :D

I just noticed that I'm a Newbie...........plus 1 post!!

Glad thats over with!!!!

:D :D :D
 
..ok i just listened to this again....added guitars STILL not enough tear thut sucker up man!!!...go nuts break strings lol...anyway i really dig this tune those "aahhhAHHHHHHHHH"...prts where you really cut loose singing is fucking great!!!.....cool personified.



thanks

lamaj

edit:..you know im not sure if the "new guitar" parts are even on here????....did you re-post it???
 
yowza...those are some crispy intro guitars. maybe just some nice keyboard pads behind the vocals in the intro? something just to imply a beat and pitch...nothing more.

I'd say kick the elec gtrs up a couple notches when they come in.
drums seem low too. But now I'm saying bring everything up...:confused:

I'd leave the ac gtr patch out...since you admittedly didn't like it either. ..and there's two of them, eh?

vocals cut thru nice. I could really appreciate some "Eagles, Hotel California" backup vocal sounds....that'd fill things out nice.

good tune, btw.
 
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