feedback on some tunes

O

oz_fenda

New member
G'day,
My name's matt im 17 just finished school and havn't posted in this forum before, basically because i've never really mixed or recorded anything for more than abit of fun....
anyways, i'm trying to put together a semi-descent demo EP of my own stuff, and would love to hear some feedback on two songs entitled "stop your pain" and "blind love" which are on my myspace page www.myspace.com/mattburke5

any feedback would be much appreciated (please feel free to be ruthless i'm kinda new at trying to make things sound good rather than just sound audible :))
I think i kinda may have over compressed 'stop your pain' and or/ recorded it too hot....or not hot enough :S
Anyways thankyou so much in advance,
cheers,
matt
PS: feel free to be critical of all elements eg. the arrangement of the song, performance etc...and all suggestions welcome :) thankyou!
 
Want a manager?
I can see some fantastic potential here, but what a mixed bag!
First of all, you've got the most important requirement - a voice. Sounds better on Blind Love (STP starts out of tune), though BL cries out for the harmonies you use to good effect on STP. BL needs the chorus bringing out - at the moment it's a bit of a dirge, whereas the STP chorus is strong and could be even stronger - it's a good hook lyrically and melodically.
As to the arrangements, you seem to have just messed around and tried different things in an unsystematic way. The strumming on STP just isn't good enough - needs professionalising. The ambient sounds at the start of BL are interesting but don't quite work, unlike that backwards guitar sound which chimes in nicely. Is that a drum in the background? If you're going to use a beat I'd experiment till you come up with something interesting which really adds to the song.
As to the mix - voice sounds good to me at least. Guitar too loud on STP and not a great sound - what are you using?
Give my stuff a listen at www.soundclick.com/jonblake or www.myspace.com/jonblakesongs. I haven't been recording that long but I've had plenty of ideas for arrangements and you may like some of them.
Hope this helps.
 
Listening to Blind Love on headphones for now... love the overall mysterious feel to this. Your voice is excellent. IMO the chorus kind of loses some of the feel. I think some backup vocals there or synth chords might sound cool there and really add to the song. The backwards guitar is a neat addition that fits well. That "thump" or beat in the background though, doesn't really fit as well. Maybe replace that with different percussion as cardiff jon said, or I can even hear piano chords in place sounding good and fitting. Overall nice song, cool mood, enjoyed it :cool:
 
Blind Love
Matt, Good songwriting and lots of commercial appeal. Great vocals and playing.

Around 2:15 and 4:30 there's a marked difference in vocal sound....not sure if that an overdub issue... That could be smoothed out.

The thumping (your hand on the guitar?) could be taken out.

The guitar has a lot of bottom end building up on it when you strum, maybe look at eq'ing it to reduce that droning sound.

The reverse guitar is not my cup of tea, I would much rather hear a nice string/synth patch. Something with longer sustain to it....Personal preference here....

Now go back and re-read my first comment.....

:D :) :D
 
hi guys thankyou so much for all the feedback, i appreciate it so much cheers!
the drum kinda sound in the bg is my 'stompbox' (an upturned wooden drawer on the floor with a 57 inside, guess its more of a live tool than a studio one, with all the top end cut out.....)
i'm using pretty crappy gear atm (rec. everything with a 57 through a behri 1202FX mixer, into my stockstandard soundcard and i'm using adobe audition....and as you could probably tell i'm mixing with computer speakers until i can afford some better gear :(
i'll be sure to check out some of your tunes as soon as i can jon (cant atm i've gotta rush off to work unfortunately :()
yeh had a few overdub probs in BL when i just couldnt make my voice sound the same (i think i'm doing it wrong by editing the track and changing it (or printing onto the track i think it mite be called :S??? instead of using the digital effects rack that is more undo-able)......
i worked on BL for a few weeks and i guess thats why it was a little underdone in terms of string parts piano chords great suggestions guys cheers i'll be sure to add some more to the song, i think i'll re-record SYP and i'll be sure to also try out some new percussion ideas :)
i think i'm also very guilty of getting tired of the recording process and saying 'this'll do' after a while......but anyways some great suggestions and criticisms i appreciate it so much thankyou all so very much!
 
Matt,
The intro verse to Blind Love has a latter period Danile Johns/silverchair feel to it esp the melody tags. Nice.
The guitar thump really should go. It is too uneven to hold the rhythm.
The reverse thing would work a lot better with more going on in accompaniment. At present it stands out too far from the backing and doesn't link anything really.
Ido1957's general comments are pretty spot on.
Really nice work.
Where downunder are you?
 
cheers rayc.....
& a very merry christmas to everyone :)
just before this thread gets burried, in the song Blind love ,in the chorus i've got a kinda ch ch ch ch on every beat which is the sound of a broom being kinda "ch ch ch'd along"? anyways its kinda low in the mix but yeh just wondering from what you can hear of it is it any good should i bring it up in the mix a little bit or cut the thing out completely because its a weird kinda idea?
anyways much appreciated again thankyou all heaps and best xmas wishes :)
 
Matt,
Pull it up a llittle & repost it so we can hear rather han speculate.
Appy tomorrow to you too.
 
Matt,
I'm between Sydney & Wollongong.
Hope life over there is nice & the weather too.
Nasty little murder yesterday eh?
Cheers from the east coast to you on the west - the place where triffids, scientists, stems, sleepy jacksons etc etc leave to conquer the nation.
 
lol love your description of your part of oz :)
i'll raise that sweeping sound i've got going a little later today hopefully....havn't had a chance to previously because i've either been working or sleeping...its that time of year :)
 
Great voice, man - nice job. The guitars are a bit sketchy here and there, and there's some really abrupt edits happening here and there.

Are you playing to a click track?
 
First off, if this is original material you have amazing potential. Some of the most touching vocals... I agree it has an eerie Silverchair feel, but we miss that here in 'the states'. Amazing.

Blind Love - just a gut feeling, but I don't think you were alone in recording this. It sounds like two different ideas forced together. If I'm wrong, then I think you simply need a producer to keep things together. It's really raw; the guitar sometimes sounds closer to a ukulele and the timing is horrible. The background synth makes your voice burrow a hole into the listener's soul, yet you drop level to quickly in the right-left pan in the reverb on the first verse. You are also peaking your vox mic levels.

2nd verse, when you split the lyrics "do you really want to be here" into a deep stereo it sounds great. However, don't cut your vocals until they fade naturally, it cuts out too quick. Reverse track guitar solo sounds good, but would fit better if you added more reverb (it'll sound more sad). 2nd reverse guitar solo is week, too choppy.

Last repeating chorus, you sound completely different because you changed mic positions or moved further away. Possibly even a different mic because of it's lack of depth. And reverse guitar fills are too high. Then cuts too quickly. Remember ambiance...
 
cheers showdown & supercreep :)

blind love is pretty much the same one idea, a kinda sad lovish sorta song, eerie minor sounding verses with a kinda (can't think of the word but "raised" is coming to mind for the chorus :S ) lol i think i need some sleep :)

Couldn't agree more with you on the more points with the timing....I recorded the guitar on its own without a click track which in the chorus near the end where i let the chords ring out and sing the vocals, it shows really badly as i recorded the guitar first.....i think i've been flogging a dead horse a little by adding the stomp box thump afterwards.....not sure what you mean by the synth in the background i think its the weirded out kinda random sounds that starts the intro off? :S if it is, interestingly enough i kinda stumbled upon that effect - i needed to add something to the intro so i tried an acoustic solo and then found an effect called 'convolution' i'd never seen before which changed the sound completely! the only thing recognisable was the key the noise was in :)

great advice for bit where i pan the vocals in the 2nd verse, i didnt even realise!

in the last chorus i think if i can recall correctly it was recorded with relative the same conditions as the previous ones (in terms of mic position & mic itself etc....hehe well i know i didnt change the mic all i have is a 57) however i did add abit of reverb, pitch correction & compression/limiting and think i was far too inconsistent in what i did to each section of the piece and when i did the overdubs i'd compeltely forgotten what i'd done, so that contributed towards a total lack of continuity in the vocals....

by the guitar fills being too high, should i physically play them in a lower octave or just eq the highs down a little?

anyways i'm off to bed,
thanks so much for a great critical post, much appreciated! i think i will start from scratch and re-record the lot with a click track and hopefully a new sound card (m-audio mobile pre usb anyone heard much about it? tried searching but couldnt find much on it here.......think i'd get much of an improvement from putting my 57 through a behri 1202fx mixer into my stock standard soundblaster style soundcard?)
cheers again thankyou so much to everyone for the advice much appreciated!
best wishes for the new year,
matt
 
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